With Accidents
by miss atari
Summary: A journey of heart break, confessions and realization. Will their relationship be able to last outside the walls of a convention center? MxM. Yaoi. Shonen-ai. Lemon. Sequel to Convention. — DISCONTINUED.
1. o1

Oh, lookit! A sequel! :3 Okay, guys... I know those of you who followed Convention are probably wanting something along those lines, but I can't do that. A convention weekend is, and I say this out of experience, normally care free and just about anything happens. But, most times, what happens at a con stays at a con! In their case, however, that isn't true. There will be pain, there will be tears, there will be heartache, but more than anything, there will be love and understanding. So, I bring you the awaited sequel to Convention, angsty drama and all.

And! The title is from a song, but which, I'll let you decide or take a guess at it. It's not going to be easy, but as the story progresses it should become obvious, or at least I hope. Also, the lyrics to the song in which the title is derived from will be used in this story, but where, I won't say; just keep in my mind that I have this chapter written out already, and it isn't due out for another few chapters. (:

This story is dedicated to Shelly (slain_angel) for putting up with my bullshit when it comes to taking so long to beta her work, and for inspiring me to write this with her latest oneshot that I'm currently beta'ing. And, also for sharing the same amount of love for Matt, because he wins.

Disclaimer: I'm only doing this once. I do not own Death Note, Matt and Mello or the lyrics.

Enjoy! ^o^

* * *

_"The picture is far too big to look at kid.  
Your eyes won't open wide enough,  
and you're constantly surrounded by that swirling stream of what is and what was."  
- The Big Picture, Bright Eyes._

_

* * *

  
_

One more day.

That's all they had left before summer vacation spiraled closed in a twist of secretive memories and new ideals.

A short twenty four hour span to forget about spending all day outside lying in each other's arms amongst the grass by the river. Getting out of the house to spend time together would be hard as the days grew shorter and their parents ridiculed them on how to behave like proper young men.

Young men that, in the span of three months, had fallen in love.

"Hey," Matt whispered against the blond's mouth, lips curving upwards as he slowly ran his tongue over bruising pink, "you're thinking too hard."

"Am not," the gape between them was closed as their lips met, melding together like lightning on sand; a perfectly flawed, destructible piece of art.

"Are too," he kissed him lightly, "stop thinking and just enjoy this, 'kay?"

"Mm," Mello murmured softly, curling into the warm embrace.

The sun rose high, directing all it's light downward onto the couple as if to tell the world that all that mattered was the happiness of one, Mello. The happiness of one individual teenage boy that had been living his life to meet his parent's ideals, dreams, and visions. He had been traveling a hard road to hide his budding relationship with Matt over the summer; three months he would forever cherish. His parents had been aware of something going on between said teenagers, but turned a blind eye when it came to the possibility of their son batting for the other team. Mello couldn't be - no, he would never be - gay.

At least not in their eyes.

As the sun shone on Mello, the red head was left to bask in the shadow of his boyfriend. It wasn't ready to acknowledge the happiness of one, Matt. No, it wasn't willing to accept that he too deserved to be happy, despite his cheery disposition, lopsided grin and sarcastic remarks. The sun was ready to shine for Matt when it had Mello to praise for making it this far.

"Mel," the red head chimed in, throwing away all worries Mello previously had about the new school year, "I need you to do something for me."

Perking an eyebrow, Mello languidly looked over to his left, blue capturing green. For a moment the only thing that existed was the longing gaze shared between star crossed lovers. It would take a meteor to tear them apart now.

"Yeah?" Mello pushed himself up, his hands pushing into the ground.

"Make out with me," Matt proposed, a wry grin spreading across his lips as he too sat up; this was all too familiar.

"I," the chocoholic began, shifting nervously as if this was his first time making out with a boy, "can't."

"Why not?" A hand came up to cup his face, and Mello leaned into the touch. This wasn't how he remembered the first time they met! There was no soft touching or seductive glances. It had been pure boredom and lack of excitement in his life.

"B-because I don't know you!" Mello exclaimed, mocking the way Matt had acted that faithful afternoon.

"Well," Matt leaned forward, his breathe ghosting over Mello's face as he inched closer; his other hand slowly came to rest upon the bare side of Mello's face, pulling the blond to him, "how about you get to know me?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Mello protested weakly, melting against the hands holding him.

"I think it's an excellent idea," the gamer smirked before hungrily taking the chocolate lover.

Instantly, azure eyes closed as the familiar spark coursed through his veins, sending a shiver along his spine. He pushed against Matt, his hands gliding over stripes as he placed one on the small of his lover's back and the other kneading crimson locks.

Moaning quietly, his back hit the ground with a muted thump and Mello took this as the opportunity to straddle him, both knees pressed firmly into the dirt beneath them. A mewl of excitement escaped Mello's lips and Matt took the initiative to thrust his tongue into the warmth of his partner's mouth.

"Mm," the blonde groaned, sweeping his tongue across Matt's as they hopelessly danced together, his hands finding their way under his shirt in retaliation to the sudden intrusion of his mouth.

Arching his back into the touch, the gamer tore away from Mello. Breathing heavily, lust filled orbs searched seas of blue in attempt to decide if this was how they should be spending the last day of summer vacation together.

Internally, Matt wanted to analyze the situation. He wanted to think about this clearly, as he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to spend their last full day together trying to catch their breath and sweaty. He loved Mello, but did he want to end the summer by doing something they could do another time? On the other hand- what better to show Mello that he loved him? This could be the last act of intimacy between them. And, at least at that rate, he would begin life at a new school off the market, and happily so. No one would pester him about his status if they saw bruises painting his neck and falling into his shirt.

Even then, however, Matt wasn't too sure if that was entirely a good thing... considering the parental units his boyfriend had. They didn't exactly like him or what he had supposedly done to their son. Their son that would graduate high school with flying colours, attend a well known college and find happiness in a book worm of a girl that would only care about salvaging a broken marriage and trying to start a family in order to do so.

Honestly, in Matt's opinion, Mello would end up making a move on the sleaziest looking girl because it would irritate his parents. The gamer knew his Mello well; just like he knew the pain growing under the chocolate addict currently sitting on him.

"Matt?" Mello pulled away from the job he had begun on the red head's neck.

"What?"

"Something's wrong," he looked up, worry etched across his forehead.

"Nothing's wrong, Mel," their lips connected, "I promise."

"Tell me what you're thinking about," Mello requested, sprawling himself out over the gamer and snuggling against his chest, his lips lightly tracing the previous trail of spit from Matt's neck to his jaw.

Sighing, Matt wrapped his arms tightly around the other male, cradling him against his body as he pressed his lips gingerly against golden tresses, inhaling his scent. How was he to tell Mello that he wasn't sure if they would last the year? How was Matt supposed to tell him that he knew his parents would find out about their relationship? Hell, how did he know that his parents would find out? Matt dreaded tomorrow, and he did so rightfully.

"C'mon," Mello insisted, fingers curled into black and white as he leaned up to look at the worried expression flittering against Matt's face, "talk to me, Matt."

"We start school tomorrow, Mel."

"Hm? Oh, yeah… I know that," he shifted until he felt the arms around his torso release him, allowing him to roll over to lay beside the gamer, "but that shouldn't bother you."

"But, it does…" Matt concluded, biting his bottom lip out of frustration.

"Why?"

"Because," he spoke, screwing his eyes shut as he allowed his thoughts to recollect before spitting out mindless sentences, "we'll… have to hide our relationship…"

Blinking, Mello looked over to the other teen. Was that it? Was Matt honestly panicking over having to keep their relationship on the down low? Granted, they'd been inseperable for three months and didn't have to hide anything, even though Mello knew his parents were slowly catching on. It was never a problem.

"Matt, that… there's nothing wrong with that," Mello whispered, turning away to face the sky as it darkened, signifying the storm that his father had warned him about.

The pearlescent clouds drifted by slowly, colliding with the sky as it broke off into ribbons of blue and gray; kind of how their relationship was at the moment.

Mello took the blue part of the sky as he kept his head high, discouraging any thoughts that could lead to breaking off whatever it was that the two shared. Matt homed in on the gray storm clouds watching over the two as they came to terms with the possibility of having to spilt up in order to remain friends, if even that or anything at all.

It wasn't that he didn't want to be with the blond anymore - no, it wasn't that at all - rather, it was that he was afraid someone at school would catch on and report their forbidden love affair to his parents. And, honestly, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle the break up if he knew that Mello's parents were behind it.

This was the moment he had been dreading all summer, and he wished it wasn't going to happen.

"There's nothing wrong with that?" Might as well tell him now, he decided.

"That's what I said, isn't it?" Mello retorted, clicking his tongue against his top teeth.

"Mel, seriously," the red head glanced over at Mello, watching as he made pictures in the distorted colouration of the sky, "think about it. If word gets out about us, then someone is bound to rat us out. And what would your parents think of that?"

Not having through of it that way, Mello shrugged lightly before sitting up, yellow locks falling to shield his face while he dared to look down at Matt.

"We'll deal with that when it comes," he announced, his body turning towards Matt as his hands slid up to cradle his face and his lips softly brushing against Matt's, "but now isn't the time, so stop worrying, okay?"

Matt nodded against him, draping his arms loosely over Mello's shoulders as he pulled his knees up to support the blonde on top of him.

* * *

I know that its choppy, but forgive me. I hope that furture chapters aren't as bad. My first chapters normally leave me a bit narked anyways... because they never want to cooperate and protray what I'm envisioning. Oh well. Read and Review, please.

next chapter - first day of school, and oh! who's that?


	2. o2

O_O; I became randomly excited at the prospect of owning a pair of zombie stomper heels! They're so cute! So, because of this, I decided to go ahead and post this chapter even though chapter three isn't entirely complete (as it's accompany piece it should be, right? well it isn't! x.X;). I would like to point out several things- one, reading the book in it's original old English is fucking hilarious; two, the creative writing teacher is based off the creative writing teacher I had in high school, right down to his name (I'm sure he'd be proud, so thank him for getting me back into writing, okay guys?); third, I know the lyrics are kind of wonky... but, they work; fourth, pay attention to the interactions between the famous duo.

Expect chapter three sometime tonight between 8 pm and 12 am EST, as it will hold a lot of answers to questions in this chapter.

* * *

_"And hey, transform all others,  
when other people, they surround you.  
And hey, they just like monsters;  
they come and feed on me.  
Giant little animals to feed."_

_  
- Monsters, Band of Horses._

* * *

Wide eyes scanned the cramped corridors, overlooking each wondering face as they caught sight of the new addition to their student body. Curling into himself, he walked silently towards the main office, following simple directions given by red arrows lining the beige, fake cement walls.

"Oh, he's a cutie!"

"What's his name?"

"Great, just what we need, another fag."

The loosely thrown words spun past him, whirling around his head in a dizzying wave as emerald orbs locked on his destination. The office. In which lay his schedule and rest of his life for the next nine months; save for the relationship he had outside of these barricades with a certain blond that he had yet to spot in the midst of adolescent meat.

"Mr. Jeevas?" A woman asked, her voice soft like feathers drifting towards the ground.

"Yeah?"

"Good," she stood, extending a polite hand out towards him, "it is nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Matt whispered, staring at her hand as if it were diseased. The mere idea of shaking hands with her discouraged him from any further contact with the student and teacher body of his new educational learning center.

"Well, first things first," she took her seat behind the desk littered with stacks of paper and post-it notes. For the first day of school, she had a lot already shoved at her. He secretly relished in being one of the reasons for said stacks of paper, as his schedule was lying in there somewhere waiting to be held and studied.

"My name is Mrs. Browne," she stated dryly, looking over her glasses at him, "I'm the school principal and I expect you to follow each guideline that we've set out for you to assure your safety and the safety of those around you."

Holding back a yawn, the red head looked around the room, taking in the plaques on the wall behind her; each one signifying something that she had accomplished in her life before her oh so wonderful role of high school principal. Who in their right mind honestly wanted to throw their life away to dictate over five hundred rowdy, stubborn teenagers? Matt considered this one of the most ridiculous he'd ever thought about, mainly because it wasn't his life he was wondering about.

"I had someone lined up to help you around school until you became used to the way we function, but it seems that he canceled not long ago. It looks like you're on your own."

Matt nodded, slipping his hands into the pockets of worn denim, swaying back and forth to the music in his head. Images of Mello swam through his mind as he pretended to listen to the droning voice of the woman before him; his eyes flickering between this and that in mock curiosity as he attempted to find something - anything - to latch onto so that she wouldn't have a reason to question his attention span.

It was short, he knew.

"Now that we've gotten that settled, here is your schedule," once again she shoved her hand into his bubble, and this time he had to accept the small offer with a nonchalant grin and a quick nod, "your homeroom is two halls to the left, take a left and it will be the first door on the right. I hope there will be no problems locating it, and as always, welcome to our school, Mail."

"Matt," he coughed.

"Excuse me?"

"My name is Matt," the teen commented as he folded his time table in half, pushing the white paper into his pants pocket.

"Well then, welcome, Matt." The woman smiled, stood and ushered him out of the room without a second thought.

If she had been anymore impolite he would have considered pointing that out to her, but seeing that this was his first day, he didn't exactly want to return home before he was supposed to with a guilty conscience and an explanation for why he was no longer an attendant.

The hallways had since died down, and all visible life forms could be seen shifting rather uncomfortably in their chairs with their hands propping their heads up. A faint smile flittered over his lips as he caught sight of a certain somebody seated nearest to the door in the classroom next to his. He looked bored, Matt noted as he stood watching Mello drum his fingers on the beaten desk.

"This totally sucks," he mouthed the moment the blond turned around to face the window, azure globes widened when he spotted the gamer standing on the other side of the plexiglas.

"I know," Mello mouthed back, a delicate smile crossing his blush laden cheeks as he watched his boyfriend blow him a kiss.

Not wanting to take any longer than he had, Matt turned away from Mello and lifted a hand up to the level of his eyes and knocked thrice on the wooden barrier before him. This was going to be the death of him, he decided as a man with a bright pink dress shirt opened the door. His cold eyes revealing the shock that he tried to suppress as he realized he'd gained another student for homeroom.

"Your name?" the man spoke hurriedly, motioning for Matt to enter and find a seat.

"Matt," he said as he unluckily sat down in the first seat of the first row, abandoned by those that had crowded around the back of the room.

"Let me see your schedule," his greedy fingers moved about the air.

Perking an eyebrow, Matt pulled the paper from his pocket and handed it to the man, green eyes watching as he unfolded the intricate design Matt had made on his journey to this class.

"Why does this say your name is Mail?" A few scattered chuckles sounded from behind him.

"It's pronounced Mile," he retorted.

"Are you back talking me?"

"I'm correcting your mistake," Matt answered.

Huffing in disbelief, his homeroom teacher - whom he'd later come to realize was named Mr. Hinton - stalked off to plop down in the swivel chair behind his desk, reciting the rules and old regulations that the school had been following since the beginning of time.

This was truly worse than his old school. At least there, he could fall sleep in homeroom and go about the rest of the school day in the same fashion he would if he were at home; only this go around, he would be sibling free.

An obnoxious ringing jarred Matt from his train of thought, and he quickly noticed the trail of drool that had begun to slide out of the right side of his mouth. Afraid to move, he watched as the student body behind him filed out of the room one after another, speaking of things he had no idea about or how they were excited to not have Mr. Hinton as a teacher for any other subject.

Curiously, he glanced down at his time table and sighed in relief when he saw that this was the last time he'd set foot in this man's classroom. Well, he until the middle of the year when midterms were set to begin.

"Matt!" A voice called, it's owner shyly waving an arm in the air at the sight of the red head.

"Hey," he grinned, leaning closer to Mello as he stood beside him, "what's up?"

"How's your first day so far?" Mello asked, his eyes fluttering over his own schedule before following another student as he fled from the room neighbouring his.

"Same old," the gamer spoke, shoving his schedule back into his pocket, his fingers itching to lace through the blonds', but instead finding solace in picking at the black fabric of the strap on his carrier bag.

"What class do you have next?" They began to walk with the ocean of teenage bodies.

"Uh… literature," his voice fell when Mello groaned, obviously displeased.

"What teacher?"

"Allen."

"Ms. Allen?" Mello looked over to his boyfriend, blue piercing green.

"I guess?" Matt swallowed hard, fearing the direct gaze of the chocolate addict. Was that something he should worry about? Hell, he didn't even know who this Ms. Allen was.

"Okay, well, I have geometry, so I'll see you later, 'kay?"

"Wa-- What?" Matt asked incredulously.

"I have class in another wing of the school, so I'll see you at lunch," he muttered smoothly.

"Okay, Mel."

"Later, Matt."

Lost and utterly confused, the gamer stood and watched the teenager clad in all black waltz down the hall, turn the corner and disappear for the next two hours of his life.

The odd way in which Mello left him wasn't the only thing he had to worry about, rather, he had something else that out weighed the weird departure of his partner- where the hell was the English wing in this place and who the hell was Ms. Allen? But more importantly; why did Mello panic when he found out that Matt had this woman for his teacher?

"Good morning," The twenty something year old teacher sang happily as Matt entered the room, late once again, "you must be Mail!"

Tilting his head to the side, he blinked at the perfect dictation of his name; surprised and pleased. So this was Ms. Allen? This woman, dressed in a slim, black dress with red maryjanes? She was definitely a looker, that much Matt he couldn't deny; but he couldn't understand why his blond became slightly defensive over it. It wasn't like he was going to try and jump this woman's bones- on the contrary, he would only be jumping Mello's bones!

"It's Matt," the red head corrected quietly, shifting his weight between his feet in obvious anticipation over his assigned seat.

"Okay," she chimed, "and I'm Ms. Allen."

She sure is a ray of sunshine, isn't she? Matt mentally stuck his tongue out at her when she motioned to the desk in front of hers, smiling cheerfully as she did so.

"I'm not going to read over the rules and I'm not going to begin by asking what you guys did over the summer," the woman paced back and forth, twiddling her fingers behind her back, "instead, we're going to jump right into the course and start with what I like to call the worst thing to verbally read, _The Canterbury Tales_."

"Ah man!" - a male voice groaned - "Why?" - a high pitched girl asked - "C'mon, that's not cool!" - another male exclaimed.

Slowly, but surely his teacher began to read out of her own version of the book as his eyes followed along. Those behind him snickered as she fled over the words that were missing letters. It was quite interesting, he had to admit; but not as interesting as the back of his eyelids as he slumped forward for the rest of the hour and a half long class.

The next class he was to attend had been an unneeded health class. He had finished both years of the expected physical education and was now doomed to sit through the torture that was health and sex ed. Needless to say, he zoned out and began to think about his blond lover sitting in his class. This took up the whole class, as he realized he hadn't heard anything the teacher had told him, nor had he gotten the information on the homework he had been instructed to complete for the next class. It looked like he would start out on the wrong foot; but really, what did he care?

After health came creative writing, a class he had picked as an elective and the only one he happened to share with Mello.

"Hey," he muttered to the chocoholic, taking the seat beside him and placing his bag onto the ground.

"Mm," was the response.

"What's up?" Matt asked, finally happy that he had a class with Mello.

"Nothing," he stated coldly, fiddling with the peeling plaster atop the desk he had taken claim of.

Opening his mouth to speak, Matt caught sight of the glare directed towards him. Was he still upset over his English teacher? Oh, for the love of God, couldn't Mello just get over it! It wasn't like he was planning on doing anything with the woman, as he wasn't into those of the female persuasion.

Mello rolled his eyes at the confusion that jumped over Matt's features and focused on tearing the piece of fake wood from the desk. This was going to he harder than he originally imagined.

Blinking, Matt shrugged and turned around to face the front of the class, eyes downcast as he eyed each individual person, wishing he knew why Mello was acting so cold and hesitant in regards to speaking to him. He hadn't done anything, right? What he could have done in the span of five hours that would make the other upset with him? This was his first day in this new school! His first day in a hell hole of a place, and he didn't want to go about it wondering what he'd done wrong when he knew damn well that he hadn't done anything.

"Settle down," a deep voice resonated from the open door, and all eyes turned to face it as a scraggly man appeared in the jam with a closed book in tow.

"'Ay, Cates!" several students shouted, welcoming the man back for another year of poems, short stories and journal entries constructed out of angst, depression and drug addicted bliss.

"Hey guys," he genuinely smiled, dropping his book down on the table in the center of the front of the room, shifting through familiar faces and taking notice of the new.

"For those of you that are in creative writing two, you already know the way things work, so get started on your first project," he motioned towards the board behind him that was littered in white writing, "and for my first years, I'm going to explain how this works."

Matt nodded along with the other first years clumped together around him. The pencil on his desk slowly rolling across the baron area between his out stretched arm over the desk and his notebook as Mr. Cates began to explain the inner workings of his class.

"It's pretty simple, you write and you pass. You don't write and you fail. Got it? We start the period off with a short story, poem or whatever I have picked out for that day. Everything you write, no matter how terrible, will go into a journal that I will read every four weeks. Understood?"

"These journals count for half of your grade. Also, once things begin to move smoothly along, you will be advised to anonymously submit your work to me for class readings and discussions. The more you participate, the more you will be looked at and respected as a writer and an individual. Is that clear?"

"Now, for the first thing," he turned to face the blackboard behind him, raising his hand to follow along with the words scrawled across it, "this is what we're working on now. I will give you the next thirty minutes to complete this assignment, and then we'll share our experiences. I'll go first to break the ice. Good luck!"

The experience was a fond memory over the span of the last three months, or in Matt's case, his transition between homes and schools. This was going to be hard, because he just couldn't pin point one particular moment. No, he had many; every moment he spent with Mello was treasured and having to decide which one was the best, well, that was just unfathomable in his mind.

"Times up!" Green orbs shot down to blank sheet on the table.

"Ah man! I'm not done!"

"That's okay," Mr. Cates spoke mockingly, "I'll start first."

The readings had taken off smoothly, and before he knew it, the lunch bell rang and his fellow classmates were rushing out of the room. Luckily, the bell rang just before he was to read his memory out loud. This small break would give him time to scribble something down, but he wasn't sure what to write. Matt sighed and grabbed all required tools necessary for working on this small memory.

Standing up and following the crowd, he tried to catch up with Mello as he rounded the corner and darted off towards a line at the opposite end of the café leaving a distraught gamer in his wake. Matt, unsure of what to do, stood still as hungry teenagers maneuvered around him, his eyes trained on the blond that had noticeably become friendly with an auburn haired male.

What the hell was going on and why wasn't Matt informed?

Groaning as Mello visibly chuckled at something directed to him, Matt's fingers curled around the wiring of his notebook, clenching it tightly to his side.

* * *

I really hated high school, you guys. It sucked, and being put into two totally different schools was a pain in the ass. Uh, oh yeah! Chapter three is going to be the next half of his first day, from lunch until I get lazy and decide to stop editing and fixing things. Read and review, please.

next chapter- newly acquainted friends and say what?


	3. o3

Ahh! Guys, I apologize for not getting this out between the times I expected, but here it is! I sat outside all night listening to my zune and staring at the sky. It was refreshing, to say the least. I have two questions; what the hell is with EPIN (/b/tard way of saying epic win)? and what is so good about Twilight that makes people obsess over it, make stupid reaction videos to the trailers and movies on youtube (that i just can't help but rage at) and freak out over? I know I have two things written for this fandom, and several things in the works, but I don't understand why it is so amazing. Granted, if I had written the series, it would not involve Bella fucking-crybaby Swann, and instead be solely about Edward, Jacob and occasionally Jasper. Plus, it would probably be written better and CHAGRIN wouldn't be found at all in any of the books. :3

Matt's story for the creative writing assignment is one of my own, taken from my notebook for this exact assignment. It can be found at fictionpress(DOT)com/s/2586918/1/Rave

Also, thoughts on this newly adopted MelloxNear shipping? Whhhhy?! o_o; I has poll. I can has votes nao?

Enjoy! =^.^=

* * *

_"I'm thinking 'bout other things I heard about today,  
all this week and tomorrow.  
And how these hands can create some better things for bettering,  
but you see, for now I got my own things."_

_- Do You Feel, The Rocket Summer._

_

* * *

  
_

Time had stopped as his eyes followed the blond until he disappeared behind the wall by the soda machine and reappeared moments later with a tray of cafeteria food. Shuffling forward, he looked around the extremely large area for a place to sit. The idea of occupying a table with no one else was futile as he realized that every single table had someone sitting at it, either eating, talking or sleeping.

He wanted to eat lunch alone, not that he was planning on eating, but because he had grown accustomed to spending his lunch periods playing his DS. Only, this time he wasn't going to be alone and he didn't have his trusty hand held gaming device with him.

"Matt!" A shrill voice called out, and he jumped.

"Hi?" Cocking his head to the side, the gamer looked at the girl oddly. Did he know her? Was he supposed to know her? She surely didn't look very familiar to him.

"Hey," a small giggle erupted from her parted lips, "you don't remember me, do you?"

"Of course he doesn't remember you, " another person commented, coming up beside the hyperactive blond girl standing before him.

"Aw! Why not? That's not cool," disappointment laced her voice as she bounced up and down, fingering the lace choker around her neck. The black contrasted well with her pallid skin, he thought as he took a closer look. The girl did seem oddly familiar, after all. He had seen her before, hadn't he?

But, why couldn't he remember her?

"Because between sticking his tongue down Mello's throat," another female chuckled at the horror stricken expression crossing the blond girl's face, "and getting pounded into the hotel bed, he wouldn't have time to remember you. Unless, you're actually the one he had sex with."

"I didn't have sex with him!"

"Okay, then that's why he doesn't remember you," person number two dryly stated.

"Sayu," the last, brunette, girl smiled half heartedly at him, "and this is Near, he really doesn't talk much, so don't pay attention to him."

Jade globes looked over the shorter male, and he nodded. Matt had definitely seen them before, but putting a time and a place on them was hard for him to accomplish. They knew Mello, which automatically meant that during some part of the past few months, he'd spent time with the lot; but he didn't remember.

"I'm Misa," she exclaimed, oceans of bright blue staring straight into him as he watched her with little interest.

"How do you guys know me?" Simple and straight forward.

"Mello?" Near coughed.

At the mention of his boyfriend's name, the red head looked up to see Mello laughing it up with the same boy from five minutes ago. He was awfully close to this person, Matt thought as the chocoholic leaned against him, a daunting smile playing on his lips as azure orbs locked on endless pools of green. A shiver rode up his spine at the simple glance; a glance that held so much more than Matt liked to admit. It wasn't a look he was normally given by the blond. No, it was intense and cold, a secret warning telling the gamer to stay back. Shaking his head to rid the thoughts of the auburn haired male slinking his arm around Mello's waist, he focused on those in front of him.

"What about him?" Matt asked.

"We're his friends," Misa proclaimed eagerly, "duh!"

"So am I," his voice was soft, sullen and lacking, "but you don't see me over there with him, do you?"

"Yeah, about that," the other girl cut in, pushing aside the small group and stalking over to a table that housed one heavily sleeping pot head. The smell attacked Matt's nose viciously as he plopped down onto the circular orange seat connected to the table.

"What about it?" Matt furrowed his brows and sighed, his head supported by the palms of his hands against his chin.

"Uh… well, you see, it's like this," Sayu began, lightly nibbling on an animal cracker she had acquired from Near, who was idly playing with a toy transformer.

That wasn't weird at all.

"See that boy over there with Mello?" She asked, raising a hand and pointing at him with her index finger. Matt slowly nodded his head, his gaze never faltering as he paid close attention to the two.

"That's my brother," she informed him, "his name is Light. And he's mister popular. So, I'd stay clear, especially when it comes to your relationship with Mello."

Matt blinked in confusion, eyes fluttering between Mello, Light and the girl he'd become acquainted with. Two questions loomed in the back of his mind- one, for what reason did he have to keep away from _his_ boyfriend? And two, how the hell did she know about his relationship with Mello?

"See Matt, the thing is, Light is very possessive when it comes down to what he likes and desires," Near stated, having been listening to the suspenseful conversation unfolding between Sayu and Matt, "and he'll do anything in order to obtain what he's eyeballing."

"But what does that have to do with me?" Matt inquired, turning around slightly to look at Mello and the douche bag - who had been wrongfully named Light - as they laughed together, his eyes not failing to miss the smirk dancing across Light's lips.

"Light wants Mello," Sayu announced, as if it was the most obvious thing in the word.

"Mello belongs to Matty, though!" Misa squealed, throwing her two cent into the equation.

"Exactly," the brunette stated, "and Light knows that; just like he also knows that Mello's parents are against homosexuality and would flip if they learned that Mello was dating Matt."

"… They're already suspicious," he hesitatingly told him, turning around to face the table.

"Oh, man. That sucks," the Japanese girl pursed her lips, watching over Matt's shoulders as her brother placed a quick kiss to his victim's cheek. What she couldn't understand, was that he had been after Mello since they were freshmen, but he was still reluctant to stamp the boy as his. Why? Sayu had no earthly idea.

"That tells me why Mello's been acting strangely, but what's his problem with Ms. Allen? I told him I had her for English and he looked like he would go postal," Matt explained, unaware of the kiss placed on his boyfriend's cheek by his now known enemy.

"Mello hasn't informed you of anything, has he?" Near asked coldly, looking up in time to see the gamer shake his head, crimson tresses flailing about. There was more to be heard?

The pale teen opened his mouth to speak, but the first bell rang as an indication that the lunch period had come to an end. All of twenty minutes had flown by, but they had been the most informative twenty minutes of his life thus far. Sighing heavily, Matt grabbed the notebook that had been lying atop the brown surface.

"You'll learn in time, Matt, that things aren't as you think they are," the quiet child said, his head hanging as he walked off in the opposite direction back towards the history wing of the school.

Sayu shrugged the moment Mello passed them, his arms tense as he flexed his hands in his pockets, making it seem like he was listening to Light drone on about the new boy that he had decidedly claimed, "a waste of time".

"See yah," Sayu nodded and followed after Near.

Misa, however, flung her arms around Matt's neck and hugged him closely, knowing that if Mello were to witness her latched onto his boy toy, he'd feel more obligated to acknowledge his existence. With a soft smile, she pulled away and muttered a simple, "we met at the convention a few months ago, Matt."

"I remember," he shouted after the girl as she walked away, her hips swaying teasingly side to side. If he didn't have it bad for Mello, he decided that he would go after Misa. She wasn't as bad as she appeared, aside from the hyperactive part. He figured that the ignorant shell she had presented earlier at lunch had been a guise, a pure mask to hide something wonderful.

It reminded him of Mello, but his disguise was beautiful, while this sudden change in attitude and personality was not. This wasn't the person the gamer had studied these last few months; the person he'd fallen asleep next to after nights of understanding; the person that had become more to him than anyone or anything else in the world.

His first day of his junior year was shaping up to be a bad one, and he almost wished that he hadn't agreed to move with his father. Matt wondered if his mother would take him back if he wanted to return home, because that's where he decided he would go if things didn't turn out well.

It took everything in him to silently carry himself back to class after the information his new friends had given him. The break in between lunch and the return to class was short, as he soon noticed when the second bell cried out for the second block of lunch to begin. Why was he stuck with first lunch? A lunch always sucked, but at least that was only on even days. On odd days he wasn't too sure what lunch he had, but he secretly wished it was D lunch. That way he could skip lunch and go directly to his next class, or just evade the crowded school altogether.

"Hurry up," Mr. Cates called out from the door jam, and several people entered the room before him.

Matt picked up speed, entered and scuttled mindlessly to his seat beside a certain blond teen that he really didn't want to see. Sapphire spheres peered out from behind a curtain of gold, and Matt noticed with a huff as he turned to look down at the notebook he still hadn't written in. It looked like he was going to have to make something up from the top of his head, but then the first page would be blank or if he wrote something in later, the journal would read different from what he'd spoken. As his fingers shakily opened the notebook, the teacher had already called on another student, giving the red head time to quickly write something down.

"Very good," Mr. Cates took pride in the details and words used that could have been read straight from a dictionary, "Matt, it's your turn."

Coughing softly, he looked around the room at the wondering eyes; some pondering over him as a new student and others curious to know what the new boy could have done that would be considered a favourite memory, besides moving to a deadbeat town.

"Okay, uh…" he nervously started, "Neon greens, pinks, and blues marked darkened space. Tedious beats sounded from various speakers lining said crowded room. Visible, though, only as entering through ajar doors. People moved about, dancing vigorously. Looking left, water coolers sprawled along empty walls, ice in liquid form to quench thirst brought by heated movements," he paused briefly to catch his breath and to look over at the tense blond beside him.

"Searching right, a talented DJ spun records for eager, young minds enjoyment. Glow stick fused air clashed harmoniously with the shouts emitting out of happy mouths," Matt closed his eyes, trying to reword his event so that he omitted Mello's name, "bodies collided forms upon willing force, arms flailing into vacancy before faces. Circles, figure eights, glowing balls captivated curious eyes. Raving really mattered most."

"Good, Matt," the teacher spoke, praising the young man as he tapped his pen on the tan desk top, "that was a perfect example of the homework I was going to give, and by default, Matt has been excused for completing it before it was given. I'll explain later."

"Mello, you're next."

"I didn't do anything," his voice was blank, missing the humour that it held over the summer. Matt noticed and warily tilted his head to this side.

Liar.

"Okay, but I still expect something next class period," Mr. Cates told him.

Mello nodded slowly, focusing all his attention on the fraying paper lining his composition book. He had many things he could have read out loud, but none of them were without the red head beside him, and outing the relationship he had with Matt while in a room with people that could potentially tell Light was not a good idea. The blond decided to remain quiet, and because of that, he made Matt's mind go into overdrive.

"Guys, for next time, I want you to take what you've written today and condense it down, one hundred words and NO repetitions," a smirk was heard in the man's voice. And then the bell rang, dismissing this class until the next even day.

Slipping his messenger back over his head, Matt strolled out of the room to a crowded corridor, hoping to lose Mello before he tried to contact him and make up some excuse for his behavior. He had heard and seen enough to understand what was going on, and he didn't need the chocolate addict explaining anything to him. Matt would play pretend and outside of school, he would be the boyfriend that Mello couldn't have in his double standard life.

"Matt!" Misa shouted, running up to him, yellow strands of silk dancing around her head as she wound her arm around his, pulling him with her towards her next class.

Mello eyed the spectacle, watching as Matt allowed the girl to drag him down the hall. It hurt him, he wasn't going to lie, but he was sure that the damage he had managed to conflict on the gamer in just six and a half hours was worse. He had let Light touch him and dictate his life, but it was for a good reason, right? This way his sexuality could be kept safe from his parents and he could spend all his time outside of school in the arms of his beloved.

But, oh, how he was wrong. It wasn't and would never be that simple; exchanging one thing for another always back fired at some point.

"Where are we going, Misa?"

"We have the same class, silly!"

"Oh," Matt paled at the prospect of having to sit next to her all class, though not even an hour ago, he had considered dating her if it weren't for Mello.

Algebra two was the last class of the day, and he couldn't have been more happier. It was one of the easiest classes he had to take, as he had taken it the previous year and was placed in it this go around by default. Matt classes went according to year, not by whether or not anyone passed them. It was going to a breeze, he knew, as the teacher handed him the same book he'd kept from his old school.

Aside from the inconsistent prodding of Misa, the class went by fast and smoothly. It was as he imagined, simple.

The teacher talked about herself for the final five minutes of class, but the moment the ending announcements came on, she shut her trap and listened intently. It never failed, the same things were said during these as was said at the ones booming from the small speakers in the ceiling earlier that day. Couldn't people change things up? Matt yawned, he was finally going home. He could finally sleep! A nap was beginning to sound like an amazing after school pastime.

As soon as the bell sounded, Matt lazily grabbed his back and slung it over his shoulder before leaving the room. The distance between his class and the parking lot was insane, but he walked it with no problem. Getting home was his top priority, and nothing was going to stop him from flopping down on his bed, curling into a ball and falling asleep for a few hours.

"Eh?!" Startled, he jumped as a pair of arms snaked around his waist and pulled him backwards. A pair of lips ghosted over the nape of his neck, warm breath washed over chilled skin.

"It's only me," the familiar voice found his ears as his body rounded Matt's form, "I hope I didn't scare you."

Matt heard the grin in his words as Mello pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. Forgetting his annoyance over their current situation, Matt dove in for a second kiss; his lips roughly staking claim on Mello's mouth.

"How are you?" Mello asked, pulling away from his boyfriend reluctantly.

"I've been better," the other muttered, pulling his bag over his shoulder as he came to stop at his car. The good thing about being a junior was that he could now drive to school and no longer had to depend on the school bus or his father.

Leaning against the red camero, emerald globes caught azure, holding them and silently spilling all of the insecurities he had about Mello's secret life.

"Matt," the blond spoke up, pressing his body against the gamer until Matt's arms found solace in holding him, "I know you don't like it, but… it has to be this way."

"No it doesn't," his embraced tightened around the older male, "just tell him to fuck off, Mel."

Chuckling, Mello brushed his lips across Matt's mouth briefly before leaning into him, his head against the other's chest. What was he supposed to say to that? He couldn't tell Matt that this had been going on before he entered the picture and that the only time he got to himself, away from Light, was over the weekend when he played the perfect son and hit it off with his oblivious girlfriend, Takada. Light had been smart, he'd taken the liberty of meeting a girl that attended another school in the county over; but not, Mello. At least, that wasn't the case the day he found Matt playing in the local mall arcade. He had, unfortunately, fallen for someone he went to school with, knowing that he would have to shy away from the blossoming romance.

"I can't," the chocoholic whispered, "it isn't that easy, Matt."

"Why not?" Conviction laced his simple question.

"… Because, it could destroy us."

"It's going to destroy us regardless, Mel." Matt hated to say it, but he knew that it was true.

"Not if we don't let it," he looked up at Matt, shifting through the confusion underlying his eyes, "we can work around this, Matt."

"Mel, what if he wants more from you? What will you do when he comes onto you and decides that he wants you?" The question, however hard it was to imagine, was a real possibility and that alone scared the gamer. "You wouldn't give him what he wants, would you?"

Pausing to come up with an answer, the blond shook his head and placed a trail of open mouth kisses along his neck, sucking and nibbling in certain areas. Matt lolled his head back to give more room to his boyfriend, letting the ravishing of his neck excite him more than it he should allow.

"I'd never let him do anything to me," Mello whispered against bruising skin, "I love you too much to hurt you."

"I love you," Matt moaned quite loudly, running his hands up his partner's sides, "but you are already hurting me."

"Huh?"

"Look down," he instructed, blushing.

"Oh shit," a dark chuckle rose from Mello's throat, "want me to fix it?"

"I would love it if you had the time, but…" Matt trailed off, shoving Mello's body away from him before gripping the silver door handle and opening it, "I'm just a dirty little secret, Mel."

"Matt, that isn't true," he objected, holding onto the crimson painted metal, "you're not a secret."

Liar. Strike two.

"It's okay," the gamer forced a smile as he put the key into the ignition, "he's coming this way. Later, Mel."

Stepping back from the car, Mello took another look at the red head, a crestfallen expression flashing over his delicate features as he backed out, revved the engine and drove out of the student parking lot.

"Mello," a menacing voice shot through the air, "who was that?"

"A friend," he responded softly.

"I don't want to see you with him again. Got it?"

Mello nodded, feigning a round of tears as Light slipped his arm around Mello's tiny waist, tugging the younger male closer to him. This was going to be harder than he thought, but he knew he could do it.

He was Mello.

And Mello could do anything.

* * *

FUUUUUUUCK. I LOST THE GAME. x_X; The essay thing that Matt did by default was, as the teacher explained, one hundred words with NO repetitions. It's not as hard as it sounds, and it helps stimulate the mind, AND it allows you to step out of the boundaries to come up with other words. Meaning, you can only use the words 'A', 'the', 'and', etc ONE TIME. Bwah~ Give it a try. :D Read and review, please.

next chapter- a date with the night.


	4. o4

Please don't hate me, guys. This chapter didn't want to cooperate, and this is the outcome. I'm sorry it's short, and I'm even more sorry that I cut it off where I did, but I couldn't write anymore, this chapter wouldn't allow it. So, I'm leaving you to make up the rest on your own... or at least until I return on Monday. 8D

On that note, tomorrow is AMA! Anime Mid Atlantic for those whom aren't aware, and if anyone is going, please feel free to come up and say hi! Of course, you'd have to tell me how you know me, but that's cool! I'll be cosplaying as Axel on Friday, for a couple hours that evening. Saturday I'll be in my casual clothing with lots and lots of kandi! Don't know what that is? Google it. XD If you go and happen upon me on Saturday, I'll give you candy and kandi! I'm that nice of a person. [: I also have something planned for that day, which I will tell you guys about on Monday when I return, because fuck! It's going to be hilarious. On Sunday, I'll be cosplaying Matt and I'll be hanging with my friend who will be doing Light. What a great match? That reminds me of my other story... Uh, yeah! Another funny thing about that, I'll tell you on Monday too! XD Anyways, song totally fits with this chapter. And, now... commence kandi making! I'm too excited to sleep at 7 AM. Oh mai yuu guiz.

Enjoy! I hope...

* * *

_"I wanna know is there anyone on the floor who can suck me like a whore?  
Who can make me scream for more,  
on and on."_

_- On the Floor, DJ Caffeine._

_

* * *

  
_

Mello kicked his legs out, despite the protesting squeak coming from the chains. Thin digits grasped the cold metal tightly, moving with the links as he pushed himself back and forth, climbing towards a destination he knew he could never reach.

Ahead, blue battled with black as a ribbon of purple haze claimed the skyline. The days were growing shorter, and he knew that he would soon have to retire for the night. Silently he hoped that his parents would forget to beckon him indoors before they went to bed, but that would never happen because they were too afraid.

Afraid of what?

Mello had always questioned their motives, and each time he came up with the same answers. Most times, Mello figured that his parents didn't want someone to meet up with and possibly corrupt him. Apparently, they'd spent the better part of their lives trying to set morals and values for him; none of which he'd really actually followed.

This time, however, he knew that his parental units were becoming more aware of his supposed friendship with the red head he'd randomly gotten close to.

At first, his mother had been wary of the gamer as he stalked behind her son, awaiting his next command. It didn't take her long to get used to him, but Mello's father was a completely different case. He still didn't approve of Matt, despite the various attempts from both himself and his mother in regards to Matt's acceptance. The blond had even pulled the "he's always going to be in my life, so you better get used to it" card. If that had managed to come out anymore gayer than he planned, his father would have shipped him to boot camp the next hour.

It was times like those that Mello held his self control in high regards, especially when it came to his relationship with...

Matt, who was currently leaning against one of the slanted poles on the swing set, jade spheres watching his boyfriend soar higher against the decorated sky.

Not wanting to disrupt his peace, the red head watched from afar - or, closely - as Mello serenely smiled, his eyes closed and the wind ruffling already tousled hair. The same pure expression that he wore the morning of the final day of the convention crossed his features as he inched closer towards the charcoal canvas littered in glowing orbs. If Mello could be a star, the gamer thought, he'd be the brightest of them all.

"Mel?" Matt's voice was shallow.

The swinging came to a slow stop, his feet acting as brakes, dragging across the ground below him. Opening his eyes, he looked at Matt with interest, his hands twitching around the links as he pushed himself off, bending his legs and preparing himself for the immediate connection.

Time slowed down, it seemed.

With wide eyes and a crooked grin, the gamer stepped directly in front of the swing set the moment he realized what Mello was going to do, awaiting the inevitability of the blond hitting him and knocking him to the ground. Though, when it did happen, he was a little more surprised than he thought he would have been. Mello laughed softly, straddling Matt's hips as he sought to recollect himself from the childish high.

"Hey," he greeted the teen under him between fits of broken laughter.

Smiling softly, Matt chuckled at the carefree persona Mello had abruptly taken on, even if it was more put on for show than anything else. Still, despite knowing this, it felt nice being the cause of said happiness.

Slowly, he lifted a hand and brushed stray strands of gold from Mello's face, allowing his fingers to linger on the silky skin. It was like caressing a flower petal; touch his boyfriend's smooth features, that is.

"Hey, yourself," the gamer responded, leaning upwards to meet Mello in the middle for a chaste kiss. "Your parents home?"

"Of course," Mello deadpanned, looking up at the lilac curtain of his parent's bedroom window.

Thankfully they had called it quits early on, droning on about how they had promised the pastor their help at tomorrow's church activity. They had insisted that Mello attend with them, but he had blatantly refused when he realized he would be wasting his Saturday with people he didn't care to be with instead of laying around with Matt, like he wanted.

"That bites," their lips met again in a weak passionate flurry, and Matt's hands made way to resting on Mello's sides, squeezing softly.

Mello let out a small, out of character, squeak at the fingernails digging into his clothed sides. It was a rare event for the red head to initiate any kind of affection touching, let alone go for the win the moment they were put into a compromising position. What if Mello's parents were to see him making out with his best friend?

"Mel," the gaming addicted traced along Mello's sides before his hands trickled down his bare arms, "you think your parents will let you come over tonight? It's the weekend."

"I don't know," the blond shivered and grasped Matt's cold hands in his, pulling them to his face, "they might. I'll go ask."

Nodding against the ground, Matt retrieved his hands from the possessive blond as the other stood, glancing down momentarily before running over, sputtering a quick, "Stay there! I'll be right back."

It was dark, he realized as Mello left him.

And it was silent, save for the drowning ambulance siren in the background, and the train whistle blowing as it rolled over broken rails.

Matt shivered, blinking up to watch as a plane flew by, a little low for his taste. With his eyes closed and his ears taking in the developing sounds nearby, Matt realized he didn't like being alone in the darkness, especially outside.

Digging his elbows into the dirt, the red head leaned back, staring off into the direction that Mello had left in. A soft glow emitted from the sliding glass door as the blond ran by it, his shadow dancing on the grass of his backyard. Matt couldn't help but let a small chuckle escape his mouth as he watched each patch of light, wondering which patch Mello would scurry through in attempt to gain permission to stay with his boyfriend. Only, he wouldn't exactly refer to Matt as his boyfriend, instead, his best friend.

The gamer knew what their night together would entail, and he smirked wryly the more he thought about it. Mello, in his room and on his bed, hovering over him and creating a trail of saliva across his collar and down his sternum. Matt could already imagine the chocoholic's wet member pulling agonizingly slow across his heated flesh. He could also hear the pleased feral rips at Mello's vocal cords as he violated the body under him, and in turn, Matt whimpered a little too softly for his liking.

Just thinking about it - about them - had managed to turn him on. Mello would surely be in for a surprise when he returned to a masturbating red head. And, in his yard, no less. The sight of a frantic, hysterical Mello, with his azure eyes wide and trying to get Matt away from the view of the windows made the red head chuckle. Mello would definitely try to say that he was owed big time for that.

"Matt?" The voice was s startling sensation, and the gamer bit his bottom lip to hold in a moan that had crept up the back of his throat. The faint click of the storm door reuniting with its metal home followed the blond as he began his journey towards Matt, his fists clenched tightly at his sides.

"Yeah," he answered, rolling his hips upwards and shivering at contact of his once loose fitting jeans against his straining erection, "over here, Mel. Right where you left me."

"They said no," the chocolate addict dryly stated, sitting down beside his boyfriend.

"Oh, oh… Mm, wow…" Matt clumsily responded, stopping his movements the moment Mello was in his line of visage, albeit from side view, "that sucks… Mm."

"You okay?" Mello perked an eyebrow, paying close attention to the body next time, a tiny frown etching onto Matt's features as he stilled the slow writhing his body had begun. This not moving, not causing some kind of friction was beginning to get to him, both mentally and physically. Matt didn't like it.

"Nn, yeah." Matt sat up, wiping his hands on his thighs in an attempt to accidentally brush the bulge between his legs.

"Liar," the other teenager hissed, watching the red head warily as he skimmed his digits over his pants suggestively, his nose scrunching up at the sudden contact, warranting a small gasp of pleasure. If Matt made these sounds by himself, Mello could only imagine the sounds he would produce if he were the one in charge.

"That sucks too, you know."

"What does?" Matt turned his head to look at the blond, who captured his lips with his open mouth, forcing his tongue into the warmth of Matt's cavern.

Dragging his tongue over the evading one, Matt fought back, declaring a name for himself in the battle for dominance. It would have worked, and he would have won, if the blond didn't purposely rest his hand against the denim covering Matt's enlarged member.

"Mm, Mello," the younger teen mewled, lolling his head back as Mello's hand began to knead his jeans.

Bucking his hips, he pushed against the chocoholic, fingers slowly making their way towards the hand squeezing his wrapped package.

"Feels good, yeah?" Mello asked, a clearly formed smirk lingering in his words.

"Oh yeah…"

* * *

Sorry, sorry, sorry~! I hope you guys forgive me! I'll bring you the next chapter when I come back, which will be the ending of this scene! I hate to do this to you, but seeing that it wasn't working for me and that I have a convention to attend, after work in a mere eight hours, I had no choice! Sooooorrrrryyyy! Read and review, please? Flames are welcomed if you need to vent out the frustrations over the mock cliffhanger. x_X;;

next chapter - a pleasing expierience of backyard loving. sounds almost like pr0n.


	5. o5

The convention was great as far as things go, aside from being high as hell during the rave that pretty much bored the piss out of me. On that note, however, I have to tell you guys that I'm sorry for the delay in this chapter. I had started it before I left, but without the motivation to continue, I hadn't bothered working on it until today. I would have had it posted sooner, but as you all know by now (and are probably tired of hearing), the King of Pop has passed. I found out an hour before CNN, LA Times, and MTV confirmed his untimely death. At first I thought it was a joke, seeing that Yahoo had posted a headline about his hospitalization, stating that their sources were TMZ. Well, at that time, TMZ was the only site claiming he had died, which... yeah, you get it. Well, to make a long story short, I cried for a man I never knew. I mean I literally balled. He was my favourite artist of all time. I had been a huge fan of his before I even understood half of his songs, and that was around the time Free Willy was coming out (1993; wow, this should leave you guys questioning my age). So, because of this surreal, tragic event, I put this chapter on hold to watch MTV's tribute to him and have done things to keep myself occupied since about 9 pm. Again, I'm sorry for the delay, but he was such an inspiration to me, to my life, and his music worked wonders at times when I felt like giving up.

With that being said, thank you for listening to my mini breakdown of sorts, and I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations.

The f-bomb is dropped a fair amount of times in this chapter, so I warn you.

Enjoy!

* * *

_"I never felt so in love before.  
Promise baby, you'll love me  
forevermore._  
_I swear I'm keepin' you satisfied,  
'cause you're the one for me."_

_- The Way You Make Me Feel, Michael Jackson.  
_

* * *

In desperate need for friction, Matt bucked his hips upwards into Mello's hand, a hoarse mewl escaping his throat as he tossed his head back.

Aside from that one incident where Mello nailed him against the bathroom door, they hadn't really shared another intimate moment. Yes; they had, like every other teenager couple, fooled around in hopes if bringing themselves toward that goal of satisfaction, but, given the many obstacles that stood in their way, it never happened.

"Matt," the sultry voice of his lover greeted his ear in the fashion of a quick nibble, "you have no idea how much I want to take you right now."

"T-then… do it," Matt insisted, pushing his groin into the palm of his boyfriend. Mello's fingers really were magnificent, especially as they began to knead the erection enclosed in a denim prison.

"Wow, Matty. I don't think I've ever seen you this eager before," his teeth latched onto the skin right below Matt's ear, nipping the flesh gently as he brought one leg over the other's form to straddle his hips; if he hadn't already been aware of Matt's weeping hard-on, then his teasing grinding against Matt's crotch would have revealed the younger male's lust.

"It… It's not everyday I have a hot blond sitting on me, Mel."

"You'd like that if it were everyday, wouldn't you?" Mello asked, pressing a trail of kisses along Matt's jaw line, stopping short of the corner of his mouth in anticipation of the response.

Mello's shallow breathing ghosted over Matt's mouth, and he shuddered lightly. It was true, he would like it - more than he wanted to admit - but nonetheless, he would enjoy it just as much as capturing Mello's lips in his own.

"Y-yeah," Matt confessed, turning his head to the side so that he could press his open mouth to Mello's taunting lips.

A surprised squeak entered Matt's mouth as he pushed against the red head, his palms pressing into the dirt on either side of the gaming addict's head. Matt whimpered in response to the sudden tingling feeling on his bottom lip as Mello nipped at the swollen mound greedily, sucking Matt's lip into his mouth.

"Mm," he drawled, tugging at the bruising lip in attempt to coax Matt into opening his mouth for him.

Complying, the red head gave Mello free range of his mouth as he pulled his tongue along the side of Mello's wet member. In the midst of a weak dance of appendages, Mello pushed down on Matt's lower half, earning a gasp as Matt lolled his head back onto the ground.

"Fuck!" Matt's breathing was becoming ragged as he bucked up against Mello, pleading with the blond for something more than just a simple grinding of his backside on his crotch. Jade spheres opened wide as Mello trickled a hand down his clothed chest and to the top of Matt's pants, his digits working to undo the button and zipper.

"What?" Mello teased, slowly treading his other hand under the black cotton adorning Matt's upper body, effectively pushing the fabric upwards until it nearly covered his face completely.

Shaking his head to rid himself of the curtain keeping Mello's smirk from him, he jumped at the contact of warmth spreading across his navel. Matt's stomach coiled slightly, and he dug his elbows into the earth behind him, allowing his shirt to slid back down his torso to shield the world from the work Mello was currently doing to his lower abdomen; sucking, nipping and licking in spots that Matt had never realized gave him pleasure.

He was certain that his body would be riddled in bruises come the morning.

"M-Mel," emerald orbs glanced down at the movement coming from under his shirt.

"Mm?" Came the muffled reply.

Curling his fingers into the soft fabric, Matt lifted the shirt from his body, removing it from his form as he tossed it to the side. It crumpled up in the dirt beside them, but he didn't care; the only thing he could focus on was the agonizingly slow pace in which Mello was working towards his erection.

Giving a lopsided smirk, Matt threw his head back and stared up at the sky in awe of the light that shone down from the stars glittering galaxies away. It was then, as he felt a set of perfectly constructed teeth bite into the flesh right above his pants, that he realized he'd never been on the receiving side of getting dome. He had only ever sucked Mello to completion, not the other way around.

"Hey," he leaned towards the blond with his arms crossed over his chest for balance, his voice lost against the wind picking up speed and noises associated with the night time, "I… I, you said…"

"I said what, Matt?"

Mello peered up at him through a sheer curtain of gold, azure eyes burning holes into Matt as he crawled his way back up the lithe body of his boyfriend, "said that I didn't like giving head?"

Gulping and slowly nodding, blood rushed to his cheeks, mocking the very existence of the gamer.

He hadn't expected for the words to so loosely spill from his mouth, but they had, and now he wasn't going to receive anything, he knew. If anything, Matt had always tried to keep his words to a minimum when it came to the chocoholic and sexual moments in their relationship. Everything set Mello off and Matt wasn't exactly ready to have his boyfriend call it quits before he released.

"Matty," his face inched closer, their noses barely touching, "oh," he stuck his tongue and ran it along the other's lips, "Matty, you have no idea."

And he didn't.

And he probably never would.

"I want to do this. Think of it as an apology for my behavior at school," he lightly brushed his lips over Matt's parted mouth.

"You… don't have to apologize for that, Mel," Matt unfurled his arms from around his build and placed one hand on the side of Mello's face, "it's okay."

Leaning into the cool hand, Mello turned to press his lips against the palm of said hand, his voice small as he spoke, "it's not okay. I'm sorry…"

It had been sincere; the guilt from pushing away his boyfriend tore at his heart; the rejected look that flittered across Matt's features as he did said shoving; the secretive kisses that had been stolen by Light; it all dwindled down to one apology, and one situation that had tightened in his pants.

"Mel?" Matt vocalized softly, caressing the side of Mello's face with his thumb. His skin was smooth, flawless and silky.

"Mello?"

"Hmm?"

"You okay?" Matt fidgeted slightly, positioning himself so that Mello was no longer seated directly over his aching front.

"Yeah, Matt," he responded, pushing his hand away from his face and stealing a chaste kiss from the gamer, serenely smiling into the kiss as the moonlight settled over the young couple.

Regaining his composer from the weakening moment, the blond roughly shoved Matt back down onto the ground, forgetting his original pretense of taking his time to work on him as a hand snaked into Matt's trousers. Mello ground his hips downwards, the friction of his jeans on his throbbing member and the body underneath him met for an interestingly pleasing sound.

It resonated from the back of his throat, creeping out of his mouth to pierce Matt's ear drums as he looked up to notice the dejected way the chocoholic had sucked his own lip into his mouth in a futile attempt to stifle the noises his body wanted to produce.

Flexing his digits, he gripped onto Matt's erection and tugged, earning a low growl. The sound, however small it was, only prompted him to strive harder in order to gain that same noise.

He wanted to hear Matt cry out his name; wanted to hear his name fall from those beautiful lips as he released himself over his stomach; wanted to see the shimmer from the sweat that had risen on his lover's forehead as he tried to even his breathing out; Mello wanted it all.

"Nn," came Matt's plea for continuation as Mello paused to rid himself of his own articles of clothing, shedding them one by one in a way that should only be viewed in a private room in the back of a strip club.

"Patience," was his hushed command, and before he knew what was going on, Mello had grasped the bottom of his frayed jeans in his hands and was pulling them from his body, ever-so-slowly.

"Mm! C'mon, please… p-pretty," Mello wryly grinned at the way Matt had begun to beg as he recollected his previous location, spreading Matt's legs widely apart, his engorged member resting against his thin build, "please, Mel."

The cool air against heated flesh was more than either teen could take as they shivered in time with one another, Mello laying himself back down onto Matt's shuddering body, "just take you? Isn't that what you said earlier?"

His voice was husky, laden with desire and passion as he brought a hand to Matt's face, dangling three fingers above him; a sheer sign of what he was going to do with said digits on a certain part of his anatomy.

Flicking his tongue out, he wrapped it around one finger and sucked it into his mouth, curling his wet appendage around it as he pulled the second and third in. With his eyes shut and an annoying whimper dancing over his lips, Mello gripped Matt's erection with his free hand and rubbed it against his own. If he was going to embarrass himself with these noises, then he would be damned it he didn't do it in a way that seemed suitable for him.

The pleasurable noises that fell from Matt's mouth ripped at him, and he decided, before his mind had enough time to catch up with him, that he was going to change the way things were to span out. Mello wanted to do something different. He wanted to...

"That's enough," Mello stated as he pulled his hand away from Matt's mouth, dragging it lazily down his chest until it met with the hand around Matt's member, "I think I'm ready."

The lack of confidence in his voice was caught by the gamer as he gazed up at the other in a lustful manner, his eyelids fighting to remain open.

It was going to be an awkward situation, Mello knew as he brought his hand to his own entrance, circling a single finger around the puckered hole as he leaned down to capture Matt's mouth in another round of tonsil hockey. Without any sign of hesitation, Mello pushed back on his finger, tensing as the intruding digit crept further inside him; the mere feeling of having something inside of him threw the blond male off for a moment, as he had never willingly received.

This however, was a special occasion; he was taking back his original idea of an apology and replacing it with something far better. It was something that Matt would never allow him to live down, and honestly, Mello was alright with that. He was still on top, still in control, and they were both getting the pleasure they deserved. It would work wonderfully.

"F-fuck!" Mello pulled away, throwing his head back as he pushed a second finger past the tight ring, stretching it open more than he had fully intended.

The damage had been done, and at this point in life, he knew there was no going back. Slowly - very slowly, in fact - his fingers parted as he began to scissor his entrance, rocking back on his hand as if his life depended on the sudden tinge of pain.

"Mel? Y-you alright…?"

Concern lingered in his words as the blond scrunched his nose up. His eyes were shut and his mouth was open wide enough to emit a round of tiny mewls. Enthralled by the site in front of him, he failed to notice that Mello was working himself to accommodate Matt's size.

"Y-oh!-eah," he hissed his response, arching his backside toward the sky as the third finger slid into place next to the first two, pumping in and out of his body in an uuntimed, unplanned manner. There was no way, he concluded, that he was going to be able to fit Matt inside of him. It just wasn't going to happen if he couldn't even tolerate his own fingers pressing into the warmth.

Startled, the red head jumped, bucking his hips upwards in the process of coming down from the shock that was Mello's sudden outburst.

A mistake.

Matt's jerking movements were a huge mistake as his hips knocked the blond boy's arm, forcing another strangled moan from his panting mouth.

"Mel, if you curl your finger towards your front, it'll feel better," he instructed, chuckling to himself at the sight of Mello writing on top of him, "trust me."

"A-are you… m-mocking me?" Azure eyes widened at smirk that was plastered on Matt's pallid face. Matt simply shook his head, crimson tresses mixing with the dirt underneath him. He couldn't help it; witnessing Mello in such predicament was a huge turn on, if he could get any harder than he already was.

"Just do it."

Nodding slowly, the chocolate addict listened to the advice and curled his middle finger forwards, the pad brushing over something that caused him to cry out in ecstasy as his hips buckled. It was odd; that small spot hidden within him that could cause so much pleasure. It felt, well, there were no words to describe the sensation. At least, his mind had been unable to form a coherent thought the moment he inserted the first finger.

But, damn! It felt good.

Maybe that's why Matt had not protested their first time.

He hadn't been used, had he…? How else would he have known about that little spot?

The realization of this little fact halted Mello. He stilled and looked down at the curious boy underneath him. The innocent way Matt nibbled on his lip, the way his eyes lit up when he noticed Mello's gaze. It was all too much for him as he pulled his fingers from himself, placing both his hands firmly down on Matt's stomach.

"Matt," he inched himself down, his eyes switching between Matt's face, his hands and the lowering motion of his body, "I need you to hold it for me, 'kay?"

Matt nodded, retrieving his member from its resting place against his stomach and held it upright, awaiting what he never thought would happen, "you sure about this, Mello?"

"Y-yeah," his voice was shaky, and then, it hit him at once in the form of a guttural cry.

The tip of Matt's enlarged member slid into him, stretching his muscles more than his fingers had managed to do. His teeth latched onto his lip and he screwed his eyes shut to feign off the tears that had begun to prick at his eyes. It was obvious, as Matt looked up at him with a small, delicately placed smile on his lips, that he wasn't comfortable.

"You don't have to do this," he cooed softly.

"I do! I ha-have to," inch by inch he continued to take more of Matt until finally he was able to, for the most part, sit down against the other male.

"S-shit!" Matt exclaimed, the walls around his penis clenching around him.

It was hot; the warmth that welcomed him as pulled his legs up towards Mello, offering a sort of back rest for the older teen.

"Do it. D-amn it, Matt. F-f-fucking move," he hissed, and Matt obliged, bucking his hips into him.

"Nn, Matt!"

"Hmm?" The gamer hummed, pushing himself up into a seated position and ultimately pulling Mello's form closer to his own as he rolled his hips again, digging deeper into Mello.

It had taken no time for the blond to wrap his legs around Matt's waist, his face buried against the red head's shoulder as he moaned in abandon over the new feelings of being full for the first time in his life.

But, in the back of his mind, as he pushed back against the length that was beginning to move rhythmically inside of him, he wondered if Matt had been touched before they'd met. The mere idea of someone having taken Matt before him made him cringe, and before he even knew what he was doing, he embedded his canines into the salty flesh of Matt's shoulder.

"Nnyah! M-ello," a rushed moan followed the rash action as he sporadically bucked his hips into Matt's rear, pushing himself deeper into the warmth provided. If this was what Mello felt like inside of him, it was no wonder he enjoyed it.

"I… I t-thought you wanted to t-top," the gamer panted, his breathing patterns falling into an irregular beat, "ughn."

"T-this is… is top, M-ah!-tty," he nipped at his ear, sucking the skin into his mouth and rolling it over his tongue, "I'm s-still in con-control! Gah!"

"F-fuck!" Matt lifted Mello off his lap for a brief moment to reposition himself.

Having caught the drift that Matt wanted a different way of doing things, Mello got on his hands and knees, providing ample room for Matt to thrust in and out of his entrance easily. The access was brilliant, the gamer discovered as he pushed in, grunting.

"Nn, y-yes! Matt, again!" Mello shouted as his arms gave out, forcing his upper to collapse at a sloped angle.

Matt, ever the late one, caught onto the desperate plea a minute later and he leaned forwards, slinking both his arms around Mello's tiny waist, pulling his back closer to his chest. A hand squeezed Mello's neglected member tightly; their bodies rocking back and forth. Tugging on Mello, the red read pushed one good time against Mello's prostate.

"Matt!" He screamed wantonly, tossing his head back.

If he had any care of the sound barrier he had broken, Mello would have quieted himself down, but the pleasure surging through his wracked nerves was just too much to handle. He had to express himself; had to let Matt know that he had done something he thoroughly enjoyed and wanted more of.

"Oh! Me-llo!" Matt stammered, pressing himself against his lover, his orgasm swimming through his veins in a shuddering wave. His legs threatened to give as he shook, rocking back onto his feet and bringing Mello with him to continue his ministrations of coaxing the blond into the same level of satisfactory bliss.

"Ugn. I… oh s-shit!"

The jerking of his once steady movements told Mello that he was finished, as his gamer bucked into one last time. The feeling of Matt's seed filling him was weird. It was hot, and it just kept coming in small spurts until Matt finally stalled all movement, save for his hand continuing to knead Mello's penis.

"Mm," the blond leaned back, his lips sucking roughly on Matt's neck as multicolored stars decorated his vision, a sure sign that he was about to empty his load.

It happened faster than he expected, he came in one ragged breath, spewing over Matt's moving hand and his stomach; blood rushing to his face. The want to hide himself from Matt after his explosion toyed with him, as he had never actually shot his load in front of Matt. Yes, he came inside of him before; and yes, Matt had brought him to his climax by means of his talented mouth, but he'd never actually cum in front of him.

This had been his first, in more than one way and still, he fought the need to apologize again.

"Matt?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry," he spoke softly, pulling off Matt with a slick popping sound, white liquid dribbling out of him and trailing down his inner thighs.

Cocking his head to the side, he blinked up at him in confusion. What was he sorry for? Mello had just given him a piece of himself - a big piece. As far as Matt was concerned, he had no reason to be sorry.

"Sorry? Why?" Matt opened his arms to the blond, and he snuggled against Matt's chest, a quiet sniffling claiming the night. Tightening his grip on Mello, he brought a hand up to his head, his fingers softly padding his scalp in attempt to reassure him that everything was okay.

That, no matter what happened during the hours they spent at school, it was worth it in his eyes. At least, it was worth it when on their off days they were able to spend time lying lazily in each other's arm and fulfilling their deepest desires.

Matt would do anything for him, he learned in that silent moment between his question and Mello's answer. The gamer would drop his life for him; would do anything he asked of him as long as meant securing their happiness together in the long run. Matt had fallen hard, and this was just one reason why.

"For everything," he whispered against Matt's chest, listening to the frantic beating of his heart as his body tried to calm down, "for making you doubt our relationship. For not having the balls to stand up for what we have. For ever--"

"Mello," he put a finger to the other's lips, shushing him, "if anything, I love you more than ever. Stop apologizing. Please?"

"I love you," he murmured, his eyes closing as Matt began a soft rocking of their bodies.

It would take more than a high school jock to tear them apart, he decided as he entwined his fingers with those of Matt's free hand; the hand that wasn't making circles on the small of his back. This was what he wanted more than anything in life, and he'd be royal screwed if it was taken from him.

Time passed slowly. A chorus of tree frogs chimed in, calling out to one another in the dead of the night as they searched aimlessly for a mate of their own. The moon had changed positions in the sky and was now marking the soft curves of Matt's facial features.

And more importantly, the love and adoration swimming around the two as the darkness took in their naked forms, shone brighter than anything else the world had to offer.

If only it would last forever. If only they had cared enough to move their gallivanting to another part of the yard. If only Mello had realized that his mother was standing with her arms wound across her flower pleated night gown in front of her bedroom window with a disappointed scowl marking her forehead. If only...

"I love you," Matt returned quietly, placing his lips to the crest of Mello's head.

* * *

The term 'dome' is another way of receiving head for those whom aren't aware and were left questioning it like, "wtf". I don't think this chapter was up to par, but again, I never do. Perhaps this is just my depression speaking. I don't know. As always, read and review, please.

next chapter - the dreaded talk.


	6. o6

Lookie! I updated within a reasonable time! Yaaaay! :3 Anyways, this chapter was a bitch to write. I couldn't get it to come out the way I wanted it, despite having written it twice. I'm not saying that I don't like chapter, I do... because well, they're my chapters and I have to like them enough to post them. So, yeah. Also, I'm not going to elaborate on either one's parents, considering I'm lazy and don't feel like creating my own characters for the sake of giving them assholes for parental units. Moving on~

My birthday is today! 8D ... and unfortunately, I have to work. I've leveled up another year, though I'd rather digress and get younger... yeah. ]:

Enjoy!

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_"I'll wait around for one more day.  
but I know that's what I will always say.  
Will this ever be okay?  
I will always worry about you.  
I will always stick up for you."_

_- Back And To The Left, Texas is the Reason._

_

* * *

  
_

A bright light hit the ground beside the two young lovers, and as quickly as he had removed his clothing hours earlier, Mello bolted upright and redressed himself.

It had taken him a moment to find his shirt, as Matt had thrown it farther down the yard than the rest of their clothing. The black fabric lay in a ball nestled against the base of a tree, and had it not been for the fact that Mello had basically tripped over it, he wouldn't have located it. Groaning in annoyance and clearly flustered, the chocoholic returned to his boyfriend.

"Someone's awake," he stated, obviously frustrated by that little bit of information, "so I better get going."

Matt nodded in the darkness, pursing his lips, "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

Mello shrugged listlessly and kneelt down before Matt, his fingers softly padding the side of his face. He wanted to tell him that they would spend time together tomorrow, but he couldn't find it in himself to lie to the red head. That's what had gotten him into this mess in the first face; going behind his parents back to be with Matt and the hidden relationship Light wanted with him.

"I don't know, Matt," his voice was barely a whisper.

"You don't know?" Matt asked incredulously, furrowing his brow in the process.

"If somehow… someone saw us," he pressed his hand against Matt's cheek and pulled him closer, "then we have a problem."

"We don't have a problem, Mel," the gamer leaned into the touch, sliding his hands up Mello's thighs, "they have a problem. It isn't our fault that they won't accept it, or us."

"Matt! Listen to me," he shouted a little too loudly, "if either of my parents saw us like that together then what we have is over, there will be no reason to accept anything. I thought I explained this to you."

Matt shivered and reeled back, pulling away from the blond as he seethed over the idea of someone watching them. It was supposed to be an intimate moment in their lives, not in the lives of those with prying eyes. Mello clicked his tongue against his teeth, azure globes darting back and forth between the shocked expression painted on Matt's face and the window that the dreaded light was descending from.

"Look, no matter what happens, I'll come see you tomorrow," Mello stood up slowly, a hand extended outwards for Matt to grasp.

The red head's fingers curled around Mello's hand and he too stood up, facing the blond with a sad smile, "promise?"

"Promise," he murmured, pulling Matt's body to him in one swift movement, his other hand pressing against the small of his back, "I will see you tomorrow."

Matt rested his head against Mello's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist tightly, "I'll be expecting the good news."

A faint smile graced Mello's features as he pressed his lips against crimson tresses; he knew there would be no good news. Despite trying to convince himself otherwise, Mello was all too aware of what his parents were going to do with him.

They would force him to take part in the church event with them, and then after returning home, his parents would join together to ridicule him for being the son they never wanted. They couldn't - no, they wouldn't - have a homosexual son. It went against what they'd been taught and what they considered normal.

But, really, what is normal?

Time seemed to stop for the teenage couple as the wind blew circles of dying leaves around their forms; their bodies pressed closely together for warmth. Matt had yet to get dressed, as he had been fixated on previously watching Mello stumble about the yard in search for his missing article of clothing. Shivering lightly, the gamer struggled to keep his composure while Mello was holding him; he was, like Mello, aware of the possible outcome.

He wanted to cry; wanted to have the blond understand what he was feeling, but he couldn't. Matt didn't want to put that on top of the turmoil that would take place in Mello's house once he had rid himself of the gamer. Instead, Matt's grip on the blond tightened and he kissed along his jaw line.

Mello shuddered against him and turned his head to capture Matt's mouth with his. A mewl escaped the red head's mouth as Mello sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, and he was quickly silenced by Mello's tongue darting into his mouth and running along his teeth. It was times like these that made all their pain worth it, and Matt knew that his boyfriend would have it under control.

"Alright, well," the blond pulled away reluctantly, his hands sliding from around Matt as he stepped backwards, "time to face the music."

Matt nodded slowly, dropping his hands to his side and gritting his teeth, wishing he'd put his clothes when Mello had, "hey, Mel?"

The blond turned around momentarily, watching the red head as he got dressed and waiting for him to speak, "hmm?"

"I love you," Matt whispered loud enough for him to hear, jade orbs downcast as he hung his head.

"I love you too, Matty," he reassured him before resuming his activity of waltzing towards his house sullenly.

With that being said, Matt pushed his hands into his pockets and began to walk towards the pathway in the woods that led to the neighbouring subdivision.

In his mind they hadn't done a thing wrong, aside from love each other; but, love wasn't a bad thing, was it? Matt's mother had raised him to believe that love conquered all, no matter whom he were to fall for. That had been one of the differences in his parents and Matt hated it.

She had always told him to follow his heart, no matter where it would take him, and the destination in which he'd stopped would be where he was supposed to be. And his heart had led him to Mello.

It had skipped a beat the moment Matt laid eyes on him that evening in the hall at the convention, despite his stubborn air towards Mello acknowledging his presence. Matt knew that the blond stranger he'd made out with would ultimately mean more to him than anything else in the world. All it had taken was one simple kiss and he was hooked on the essence that was Mello.

Matt was thankful for that day; just like Mello was.

Mello lingered in the spot Matt had last seen him, his arms crossed loosely across his chest as a shadow ghosted over the kitchen window. Somebody was awake and waiting for him. Dreading the possible lecture he would have face, the blond sighed heavily and pushed forward up the three steps and entered the house knowingly.

"Mello," his mother's rigid voice called from the next room, "come here."

"Yes, ma'am," he responded.

She sat in the chair against the wall with her legs crossed and one hand on the table; fake nails tapping irritatingly on the surface as she motioned for him to take a seat.

A strangled silence fell over the room's two inhabitants, mocking their existence. It appeared to already know what was to be said as it grew suffocating, choking out the oxygen from Mello's lungs. The blond coughed roughly, and his mother took this as the initiative to begin talking.

"I saw what you did," she directed the same blue eyes in his direction, her cold gaze fixed on him, "and I'm very disappointed."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You should be. What you did was wrong, Mello," she began, standing up to bombard him with a round of questions, "how long as this been going on?"

"…"

"How long?!"

"A few months," he answered her, pushing back in his own chair.

"A few months? When did it start?" Mello blinked, avoiding her gaze at all costs as his hands gripped the arms of the chair shakily. He couldn't do this; there was no way he could give up the details of his relationship. It was a private matter, and no matter his mother's authority, it wasn't her business.

"Answer me, Mello!" She shouted loud enough to keep her sleeping husband at bay, her arms crossed over the flowered nightgown she had worn to bed.

"At the beginning of the summer," his voice was almost lost next to her heavy breathing, but she heard… oh, she heard him.

"That's when he moved here, correct?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And how do you feel about this boy?"

Worrying his bottom lip, he wasn't sure if he should come out and confession his love for Matt or if he should explain to her that it was an experiment. That it had meant nothing to him; it was a way for to him to test his sexuality because he'd come to doubt it. But that would only lead to more questions that he didn't want to answer.

"I…" he gulped, pushing back tears that had surfaced around his eyes, "love him."

"Nonsense," she spat, inching closer to the cowering teenager, "you don't know what love is! You haven't a clue what it feels like to love another!"

"Y-yes, I do," Mello stammered, looking up to meet her gaze, "I know that I love him."

"Mello! Stop talking this trash! Even if you do understand love," she seethed, "my son will not be wasting it on another boy! I will not have a homosexual son!"

"Too bad," he vocalized defiantly.

When had Mello become so bold? Just minutes prior he had been afraid of entering the house; wanting to turn away from his home and run to Matt as he walked alone in the darkness.

"Too bad? Too bad?! I don't know who you think you are, young man, but this is going to stop! I will not have my son fornicating with another male! It is against everything we've taught you, Mello. Do you really want to disappoint your father?" The woman spoke harshly.

"N-no," a tear slid down his face.

"I didn't think so," she returned to her original location and regained the position she had been in when Mello had entered the room.

"Mom?"

"Yes, baby?" She cooed softly; almost as if she hadn't just tried to ruin his life.

"What do you have against us?" He stood up, placing the palms of his hands against the cold top of the faux wood table. "We've done nothing to you! We've done nothing and you want to take away the one thing that makes me happy!"

"Mello, we are no longer having this discussion," she stated, eying her son as he curled his fingers into his palms, "and you are no longer going to see him."

"And whose going to stop me?" Mello asked.

His mother gasped, fisting the fabric of her nightgown into a ball as she stood facing him, "we will send you to military school, Mello. Do not tempt me."

"You think that scares me?! Hah! It doesn't! It doesn't fucking scare me, Mom!"

"I will not tolerate that kind of language in my house, young man!"

"Just like you won't tolerate any happiness in your house, right?" Mello slammed a fist on the table and it echoed in the spacious room.

Jumping at the violent sight of her son, she shook her head slowly, "Mello, I need you to understand. We're only trying to do what's best for you, and that's not participating in homosexual acts with that… that boy."

"That boy has a name. It's Matt! His name is Matt," the blond rounded the table, "you don't know what's best for me! Only I know what's best, and that's Matt!"

"No, honey, it isn't."

"Yes, it fucking is!"

"Mello! Watch your language," she reiterated, pursing her lips as she looked at her son, "I'm only going to tell you this once more. You are not to see him again, do you hear me? You are to break it off with him first thing tomorrow, as you will be attending the church function with your father and I. I want your life to be as normal as possible, Mello, so trust me when I say that this is for your own good."

"No military school…?" He asked sullenly, a devious plan forming in his head.

"No, Mello. As long as you do as I've told you," she stood slowly and opened her arms.

Mello sighed heavily, forcing back a sob as he loosely embraced his mother, "I still love Matt, regardless."

"You will have to get over that then," her voice was quiet.

"I never will and you know it. He's the only one for me," Mello let go of his mother and walked out of the room towards his own.

"He isn't the only one! This… this Matt," her voice was laced in venom as she spoke his name like she'd just addressed the devil.

Slamming his bedroom door closed to the best of his abilities without waking his father, Mello threw his tired body onto the bed residing in the back corner of the room. The sob that had been wracking through his chest escaped in a fountain of tears as he curled up in a ball atop the quilt covering his bed.

"I'm so sorry," he cried out, holding onto a shirt that'd he borrowed from the gamer; a white and black trademark shirt.

"I'll make it better, I promise," Mello buried his face in the fabric, sniffling as the scent of his boyfriend caressed his nostrils; cinnamon and something unknown.

"I love you," they both sobbed in unison, unaware that the other was trying process a way around this new hurtle in their relationship.

They fell asleep together, albeit in seperate beds in two different houses, to the promise of Mello visiting Matt in a few hours.

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There yuh go! I hope it lived it up expectations, otherwise, what am I going to do with myself? Oh, and read and review, please! Especially since today is my birthday, and (like I said already) I have to work. That would definitely make my day better. 8D

next chapter - oh? what's this? his mother's was informed...


	7. o7

Okay. Chapter 7. I'm sorry it took so long to get out, but here it is. You get to meet Mello's father, whom I'm not naming. And you also get a glimpse into Matt's past, as well as a little insight to the relationship he has with his own dad. On that note, I was supposed to go to Otakon this weekend, but with money being so short I'm having to cancel that trip. I was really looking forward to that convention, as I've only ever been once a few years ago. ]: To make up for it though, I've decided to go to AUSA where I will hopefully get to meet two of the most amazing L and Light cosplayers from DA. 8D They also do Matt and Mello. [: If anyone's interested in seeing their stuff that hasn't already, let me know and I'll give you their names.

Also, I have a little contest that I'm going to be doing. [: --grins evily-- I'll announce that on a later date, as I don't exactly feel like getting into it at the moment. On that note, I have five other stories that I'm currently working on that need attention (all written out in the span of four notebooks and one sketch book). And I need to medicate myself because I have a shitty summer cold. Oh noes!

Enjoy.

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_"Should've done something, but I've done it enough.  
By the way your hands were shaking,  
rather waste some time with you."_

_- Blue and Yellow, The Used._

_

* * *

  
_

Obnoxious rays of sunlight danced upon the blue carpet of his floor, indicating that morning had finally arrived. Stirring lightly, he placed an arm over his face to hide his eyes from the dangers that the sun held to non-early birds.

"Mm, what time," his voice cracked as he flipped over to face the open room, a quick shiver running through his body. He opened one eye slowly, pressing the side of his face into the pillow resting under his head only to realize that the sun was still shining brightly.

It didn't take a genius to notice that a bright sun meant that it was still early in the morning, so with an annoyed groan he tossed and turned until his lithe form lay facing the ceiling, eyes closed to protect them. "Fuck, too early."

It wasn't exactly the fact that it was too early, but rather, in the back of his sleep riddled mind it was that he dreaded the hours to come. In the next hour he would lose his boyfriend; his lover; his best friend - he would lose his because they had slipped up and decided to flaunt their relationship in his backyard.

Mello thought as he lay there in the silence, fidgeting in attempt to get comfortable. He thought of ever possible way to evade having to break up with Matt; from telling him that they could only converse on days when Light didn't come to school to joining extra curricular activities and getting a job together. Only, with each possibility his tired brain could afford to come up with, he knew they wouldn't work out.

Things just wouldn't be the same if he couldn't wrap his arms around the gamer, pull him closer and whisper to him how much he loved him. There was always a downfall to something he deemed brilliant, and he hated each one.

His relationship with Matt would suffer severely if they tried to work around Light, and the Yagami teenager wouldn't hesitate to run to his parents the moment he laid eyes on the blond in a compromising position with Matt. If he couldn't have Mello for himself, then there would be hell to pay. Was there even a reason to be scared of Light now that his mother knew that he had been participating in homosexual acts?

Staying after school for things that didn't really interest him was a no go from the start, as Mello realized that from time to time his mother would probably pick him up on days when he was finally able to be alone with the red head. Mello wasn't exactly looking forward to his mother catching them in the hallway with their mouths locked together in an obvious battle of tonsil hockey.

So, with two options out of the way, he had only one more to ponder; getting a job with Matt to maintain some kind of relationship. But, again, this idea was not something he really had in mind. It wasn't that he didn't want a job as much as it was that he wouldn't be able to spend time with the gamer like he wanted. Their jobs would force them apart, which would in turn cause some kind of friction in their relationship that would lead to it becoming another teenage travesty.

"Mello, honey, it's time to get up," a feminine voice greeted him cheerfully, jarring him from his thoughts, "we have a lot to do today, sweetie."

Didn't she mean 'you have a lot to do today'?

Cringing, he pushed himself into a sitting position as he mentally cursed the woman that was ending his life. How the hell was she so happy this early in the morning? And on a day that her son would be crying his eyes out, no less. It made no sense to him, but that didn't stop Mello from getting out of bed and trekking downstairs to meet with his parents for breakfast.

"Good morning," both parents greeted in unison as he sat down in the chair that was rightfully his at the small kitchen table. Mello nodded in acknowledgment in return, a few strands of golden locks falling into his face.

"So, we have a big day ahead of us," his father announced as if he knew about the little agreement between his wife and son.

"First off, I believe your mother said that you have something important to do today," he said blandly, a sure sign that he didn't exactly want his son to do things that didn't involve either parent. "Is this true, Mello?"

"Yes, sir." The blond nodded slowly, picking at the food on the plate before him.

"Well, what it is? It can't be so important that you're old man can't know," he droned.

"Honey, he has a project for school that he has to work on," his mother interjected icily, "I am going to take him over to Matt's for a few hours to get everything settled so he can work on his half tonight."

Oh, she was a good liar. Who knew that his mother, the savior of all things righteous in their house held, was such an amazing liar. And the fact that his father fell for it made him laugh mentally.

"What's this project for?"

Mello blinked and looked down at his food as if he hadn't heard his father; in actuality he hadn't thought that for in advance. "It's a creative writing project."

"What about?" He pressed on.

"I have to learn as much about Matt as I can so that I can write a biography on him," the chocoholic stated, putting much emphasis on 'learn as much about' as he possibly could. Mello knew that it had to have ticked his mother off, given by the glare she was currently sending him.

"But don't you already know enough to do that? You did spend all summer with the boy," his father wasn't very fond of the red head either and for reasons other than those that his wife had.

"I did, but that isn't enough time to learn everything," Mello lifted his glass of orange juice to his mouth. "There's more to learn."

"Like?"

"… Well," he chewed on the inside of his cheek, "like how life at his old school was before he moved here. Matt never really talks much about it, so I figured that maybe this would be a good time to ask him."

"I see," the man forked more food into his mouth, "well, good luck with that one, son."

Mello rolled his eyes and shifted more food around on his plate in attempt to make it look like he'd eaten a substantial amount. He wasn't hungry, that much was certain.

"May I be excused?" Mello asked.

"Sure, sweetie," his mother smiled. "Go get ready, we'll be leaving soon."

-X-

In a house much different from Mello's was a sleeping red head. He had curled himself into a ball in the middle of his bed, shaking violently as he fought of the demon plaguing his dreams. Matt unconsciously pulled his legs closer to his chest as he whimpered, tears decorating his cheeks. It never failed that when something big was supposed to happen, the nightmares that had tortured him as a child would resurface. Matt blamed this on his older brother, because if not for him, he wouldn't have to hide away in the corner of his mind while being attacked from each angle.

Over the past couple months, however, these nightmares ceased to exist as the budding relationship between him and Mello became more than the fling it started out as. They had once been a reoccurring thing, mocking Matt nightly as he tried to calm his erratically beating heart. It wasn't often that he got a full night of sleep, but the moment he met Mello everything changed.

Their first actual night together proved to be the cure for his troubling dreams, as they lay in the wake of another round of sexual pleasures outside of the bathroom located within the convention center. That was the first night in a year that he'd been able to sleep without tossing and turning. It frightened him to an extent, as he wasn't used to not battling the unseen monsters in his mind.

The only downfall to that weekend had been the day they'd split up to go back to their respected homes, because that had been the night things slowly began to act the same. Matt had thought that because he'd found some kind of happiness he wouldn't be bothered until something happened to upset him, but that wasn't the case.

Yes, the gamer had been rather upset when he had to leave the blond, but that wasn't enough to fuel the nightmares. Matt had actually looked at that short period of time as a getaway; a moment where time stood still and allowed him to enjoy life rather than just feel like he existed.

In between the convention and the moving to a new location, things got worse for the red head as he tried to hole himself up in his room away from anything that would and could get his mind off the wonderful weekend he'd experienced. Whenever the gaming addict felt that he couldn't continue, he would think back to Mello and wonder about the things he was doing and how he was. They were never too far from each other's thoughts, as Mello had resorted to spending his days dreaming of Matt and the things they would do together had they lived in the same place.

It wasn't long until those dreams become reality, and for Matt, that had been a Godsend. Two things had happened in the moment his father told him they were moving, and while he was trying to fully understand what he was being told, Matt knew that things would look up. They were moving away from the filth he'd been subjected to and without his step mother, who had shown more than once that she didn't really care about his well being. At one point in his life, though he was not exactly sure when, Matt knew she cared.

Just being told that he was moving away had him internally cheering, but the greatest news to grace his ears was when he was told that his brother wasn't going along for the ride. His brother had opted to stay behind for schooling, claiming that this was the only time he had to get away from a family he hated. Why did he hate them? Matt couldn't quite grasp that concept very well, as his brother had never been treated badly.

Not to mention - or forget - his brother had his own punching bag; one that would lock up the minute he turned around with malice in his eyes; one that would shrink back against the wall and curl into himself as the first fist struck his cheek; one that wouldn't talk back to him in attempt to make his brother stop hurting him.

Matt always took what his brother offered him, because in his mind, this was the only form of affection that his brother would ever give him. The reason behind this was simple, and it wasn't like it was Matt's fault that their father had cheated on his brother's mother, which in turn produced a little red headed child that looked identical to the very woman causing said cheating.

Still, Matt hoped that his brother felt something for him. At least, he tried to explain to him that he loved him because he graced the gamer with his presence, and that in itself was a great feat. Regardless, Matt had come to grow used to the beatings and his father's blind eye when it came to them. It had been nearly a year and half since the nightmares started, but he kept that to himself as he took everything handed to him.

"Matt!" Came a booming voice from the hallway, followed by a fist on the barrier that kept him from the real world. "Get up!"

"Mm up," he responded groggily, curling into a tighter ball.

"You better fucking be," his father shouted back as he roughly trekked down to the first floor.

The late morning sun bathed over the teenager as he struggled to keep conscious under the comforter. He fisted his fingers into the material and stretched out his legs, wincing at a tinge of pain that shot through his right leg. Matt rarely slept in a ball, as he preferred to sleep with his limbs thrown over the bed in random directions, but last night was an exception. In his mind, he believed that the smaller he made himself the faster he would disappear, as was his goal to achieve until the news that could either break or strengthen his relationship with Mello came. The gamer honestly had no intentions of getting out of bed until noon, when he was sure that the blond would come over to give him said news.

"Matt, fucking come on! It's almost twelve," the same voice called from the bottom of the stairs, obviously annoyed at the fact that his son was refusing to get up.

"Damn it! I'm coming," Matt yelled back, pushing the covers over his body and shivering at the cool air that collided with his skin.

Sitting with his feet dangling off the side the bed, he raked them back and forth over the carpet. Rude awakenings were not his thing, but after have noticed the anxious tone of his father he knew something had to be up. It wasn't often that he was formally woken up, hence why the red head considered it to be rude.

Matt shook his head tiredly, his fingers pulling through the knots that had formed in his hair during slumber. Jade globes searched the room frantically for something clean to wear, but after several minutes of locating nothing, he gave up and resorted to wearing the clothing he adorned on the first day of school. He was going to have to wash clothes later on, and that little bit of information made him cringe. Who the hell wanted to do housework on the weekend? He sure didn't.

"Matt?" A second voice spoke, soft and depressed. It made the gamer jump.

"What?" Matt held a hand to his chest, his heart beating fast under the t-shirt.

It got quiet for a moment as he focused on calming down his still tired nerves, the sound of his heart pounding in his ears and his eyes stinging from the crying he remembered doing the night before. With an eyebrow raised, he waited for whomever it was outside his door to speak; had he not been still in the process of waking up he would have realized that his boyfriend was currently debating between breaking up with him on the opposite side of the door or actually in person so that he could see Matt one more time before school started in two days.

"Hey, uh," the other person began, shuffling closer to the faux wood, "your dad let me in. Can you open the door?"

Who was asking for entrance into his room? And why didn't he recognize the voice? "Uh, yeah."

Matt, who was too busy internally questioning himself over the person wanting to come into the room, yawned softly and opened the door. It creaked in protest as it was forced out of it's resting place, but that didn't stop Mello from helping the gaming addict by pushing on it with one hand.

"Mello," he sighed in relief as the blond came into view, because after convincing himself that it was his brother or some unknown personage, he had become slightly worried.

A pained smile painted Mello's features briefly as he stood in front of Matt, taking in his messy bed hair, dingy attire and sleepy persona. "Yeah."

"What's up, Mel?" Matt wrapped his fingers around the other teenager's wrist, effectively pulling him into his bedroom as he shut the door behind them.

The air in the room quickly became heavy, laced with tension and words that Mello didn't want to offer the only person he'd ever loved more than life. Matt sat back down on his bed, eyes watching the chocoholic as he stiffly moved towards him. When had Mello gotten so nervous?

"You okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah," he lied, sitting down on Matt's bed. "I'm okay."

"I don't think you are," Matt muttered, their eyes locking instantly as the blond turned to face his boyfriend, oceanic orbs conflicted as he watched the gamer slowly inch towards him.

"What's wrong, Mel?"

"Last night," Mello responded, leaning into the arms that had come to enclose his tired form, "remember?"

"How could I forget? You gave me something precious, Mel. I could never forget it," he gently placed his lips against Mello's cheek.

The blond melted against the warmth radiating from Matt, all worries leaving him as the other teen ran his fingers up and down Mello's arm. It was such a subtle motion, but it held more affection, more reassurance and many promises of a brighter future. Mello had never been the person to romanticize things, but being in Matt's arms where he belonged, he couldn't help but find the beauty in their last intimate moment together. He wanted it to last as long as possible, as Matt drew circles on his upper arm slowly.

"Matt," he inhaled sharply, "I need you to do something for me."

"What is it? I'll do anything you ask me to," he promised softly, holding Mello closer to him.

"Are you sure?" The blond furrowed his brows, afraid to continue with the task that had been forced on him.

In truth, he was more afraid of the look that would wreck Matt's calm face and the tears that would create rivers down his pale features. Mello wasn't sure he could take the heart break in Matt's eyes when the time came to walk out of the door and out of his immediate life.

After nearly five minutes of silence, Mello coughed lightly. "Matt, I need you to be sure about that."

"I'm sure," he finally spoke, too content with rocking their bodies back and forth.

"… I need you to forget," Mello ceased to move with the red head as he pulled away, eyes filled with regret the second the words left his mouth, "can you do that?"

"Forget what, Mello?"

"The convention," he sighed heavily, "the day you moved here."

Matt blinked in confusion and opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Mello's voice, "these past months."

"M-Mello…?" Matt cocked his head to the side, staring in awe at the boy that had now directed his gaze to the floor. What was so interesting about the floor?

"I need you to forget," and in that moment, hidden behind a shield of gold, Matt noticed the tears that had begun to fall from Mello's eyes.

"A-and," his voice was lost as a sob wracked through his body, "I want you to forget last night…"

"W-what? Why? I can't do that," Matt spoke hurriedly.

"You said you were sure," was his response.

"B-but, I can't do that, Mello. I can't forget any of that!"

"You have to, Matt," his elbows dug into his knees as he held his face, pain in liquid form sliding down his wrists, "I need you to."

Matt bit his bottom lip roughly as his arms wrapped around Mello for a second time that day, holding the crying form close against his chest in a weak attempt to calm him down. What was this? Why was Mello insisting that he forget about everything that they'd done together?

"I… I can't," his strong demeanor fell the more Mello cried into his shirt. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes with every fragile sound emitted from the blond. Matt pressed his lips to the top of Mello's head.

"I'm sorry, Matt."

Matt's breathe caught in the back of his throat, and he knew what was coming next. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about preparing himself for this moment, on the contrary, he had spent many hours awake in bed last night mulling over what would happen when Mello came to see him the next day. Matt knew that the blond hadn't wanted this, as he took so long to get it over with.

"I don't want to forget, Mello. Please… don't do this," his desperate tone hit Mello, but he had already - well, his mother had - made his mind up. Matt shook against the blond, the once offending tears rolling from his eyes as he forced back a whimper.

"I'm so sorry," Mello spoke quietly, pushing against Matt's body, "there's no other option."

"I… I know," the red head agreed hesitantly as he lazily brought a hand to Mello's chin, "I know…"

Matt forced the blond to look up at him through the tears cascading down his face, their eyes reflecting the pain coursing through both their bodies. Without much thought he leaned down and captured Mello's swollen lips in a chaste kiss. The atmosphere in the room picked up as their lips connected, dulling their senses. Mello lapped at Matt's mouth, running his tongue along the red head's bottom lip. Matt obliged, as his tongue met with Mello's appendage in a badly coordinated pas de deux.

"Mello," he rested his forehead against Mello's, "I love you."

Those three simple words struck Mello in a way he never thought possible, but that didn't stop him from wrapping his arms around Matt and burying his head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you too, Matt," he whispered against Matt's skin. "I love you too."

Simultaneously they both wondered when the words to make their break up official would surface, but neither wanted to be the one to speak them. It was too much to know that this was to be the last time they would be share a moment like this together. It would only further their pain if one were to mutter "we're over".

"Matt?"

"Yeah, Mel?"

"Hold me until my mother calls?" He requested, closing any gape between their bodies.

"Sure thing," he sullenly uttered, pulling Mello into his lap.

Matt closed his eyes to prevent anymore liquid from escaping them; and for what felt like eternity, the broken couple held each other. The room was silent, save for the whimpers coming from both teenagers and the sounds of breaking hearts shattering on the floor.

And then came a sound neither had anticipated, in the form of an annoying ring from Mello's mobile. This was it. This was the moment Matt had been dreading since school began, only he pictured it happening months down the road. It wasn't supposed to take place now.

They were, as of Mello flipping the offending object open, over.

* * *

You guysssss. It took me nearly a week to finish this chapter because I kept getting teary eyed while writing them together. ;o;

Read and review, please. 8D

next chapter - another week of school and what's this?


	8. o8

I'm truly sorry for this chapter, but I had begun working on it during my bought of sickness, but as new drama came into light, I couldn't continue to work it. I would have had this chapter posted yesterday, but as stated, new drama has arisen. Read the bottom note, it'll help you understand. I hate this chapter, as I think it is moving too fast, but this is the only way to progress with this story. And I hope that, in about two chapters, you guys will be pleased with the longer length of the chapters that hold not so much angst, anger and depression. I also need your help. My dilemma is that I'm falling out with this fandom, as Kingdom Hearts is slowly taking over. I need your help to keep me focused on this, so that I may finish this story within a reasonable amount of time. Can you guys do this for me? Please? Thank you.

Enjoy.

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_"The shock bleeds the red from my face,  
when I hear someone's taken my place.  
How could love be so thoughtless,  
so cruel?  
When all, all that I did was for you..."_

_- Autumn's Monologue, From Autumn to Ashes._

_

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_

It was the beginning of lunch, and the students fled their respected classrooms to gather in groups around the upperclassmen café. Girls giggled ignorantly over the latest gossip to hit; a little rumor that Matt should have listened to before he found himself stuck standing with his mouth agape, trembling and trying to convince himself that his eyes were deceiving him.

This wasn't happening.

No, that wasn't Mello currently pushed into the junction between the wall and soda machine by one, Light Yagami. There was no way that was _his_ blond lavishing the mouth of said evil personified. Just like there was no way that Light's hand had snaked it's way into familiar golden tresses and tugged roughly. And nope, the noise that escaped the victim was definitely not familiar - or loved - as it happily assaulted Matt's ears.

Curling his fingers into the palms of his hands, the red head stared in awe at the sight of his _ex-boyfriend_ making out with the school's biggest asshole. The laughter, talking, and shocked conversations regarding the new - dare he think it - couple died down and all Matt was left with was pain.

A pain he had never experienced before that ran through each individual rib and ever so violently attacked his beating life from all directions. And Matt knew, oh he knew, that all the whispered sentiments between them meant nothing. As they were lies, twisted and construed to purposely send him into a downward spiral in the middle of the hallway. Matt, for the first time in his life, was aware that this was what it felt like to have a broken heart.

He leaned against the wall for support, afraid to move - afraid to do anything in fear of crumbling to the dingy tiled floor in a massive heap of tears. The room fell silent, at least in his mind, as he continued to torture himself with the scene before him.

It belonged in a bad teenage flick. One where the girl cheats on her loyal boyfriend with the weirdo next door, only to realize that he was nothing more than a pervert with terrible skills in bed. Only, said loyal boyfriend in that predicament would have gathered up the courage to confront said slut and demand any kind of answer that could merit her true reasons behind the action. She didn't love him, and in the end, the boyfriend would find a girl that did. And the rest, as they say, was history. A happily ever after ending.

"Matt," a girl's voice broke through his thoughts, "come on."

"W-What?" He choked, turning to look at Sayu with guarded eyes.

"The more you watch the more upset you're going to get, so come on, " she said, linking an arm through his and pulling him towards their table, "let's go eat, 'kay?"

"I'm not hungry," the red head mumbled, feigning rejection as they walked by Mello and Light sucking face.

"Matt, you have to eat."

"I don't want to, Sayu."

"Matt, if you don't eat then you won't have the energy to confront him about it later," Near spoke softly as he dropped his lunch bag onto the surface of the table, fishing around the inside until he came in contact with the an item that piqued his interest. "And, besides, we don't exactly need you passing out on us."

Matt snorted, rolling his eyes, "I won't pass out, Near."

"That's what she said!" Misa's giggled, plopping down beside Near with a bottle of water tightly gripped between slender digits.

"What?" Near choked, glaring at the girl.

"Nothing," a teasing smile danced onto her face, and for what he realized was the first time that day, Matt actually managed to smile at the girl's attempt to lighten the tension in the air.

"So, I thought you guys were… like, y'know," Sayu frantically made what Matt assumed to be a heart in the air, "together."

"Yeah. Were," his vision clouded as the lovebirds walked by, and it was all too apparent that Light wanted Matt to notice the hand around Mello's waist as he pulled the other boy closer to him. Did Light know something he shouldn't?

"What happened?" She questioned, cocking her head to the side in confusion.

"Sayu, I don't think this is the appropriate time to ask Matt about that," Near stated, idly picking at the bag of plain chips opened before him. "It's obvious that he's upset, leave him alone."

"But--!" She began, but was cut off by the glare the white haired teenager was sending her.

"Near, I don't mind," the gamer spoke softly, turning his head to the side to look at the three students that had accepted him, homosexuality and all. "Just... somethings I won't answer, so don't expect an anything."

At the mention of Matt giving her the thumb's up to bombard him with questions, Sayu turned to face the red head. "That's fine, Matt. So, you guys aren't together anymore?"

"N-No," he shook his head, crimson locks falling to obstruct his view.

"Why not? I thought you guys were happy together," Misa chimed in, placing her head into her hands as she leaned towards the conversation, clearly interested in the red head's half of the story.

Jade orbs briefly looked at the sincere expression on the girl's face before he looked at the table, following the dark lines embedded into the mahogany plastic. It was supposed to look like wood, he figured, as his eyes outlined a face. Starting with one small knot in the ink, his eyes trailed down to a line that had been rejected and singled out, standing alone. From that point, he focused on a larger knot not even an inch from the first one. So far he'd located the eyes and his table person's mouth, next was the nose.

"Matt?" Misa asked expectantly, even though she was instructed not do so. She blinked, looking at him warily.

"We were," he finally spoke, forcing back the tears that had crept along the bottom of his eyes. "We were very happy, but sometimes happiness isn't the key to everything, Misa."

"What? Of course it is, silly!" She smiled, covering Matt's exposed hand with her own. He froze and looked down at their hands, studying how small it was in comparison to his.

"Sometimes a little too much happiness is a bad thing," Near began, pulling Matt out of the daze he had fallen into.

"How is it a bad thing?" Misa inquired, looking to the other male.

"Guys, c'mon. This is about Matt," Light's sister deadpanned, looking from each face as she comfortably settled on watching the secretive tears splatter on the table. Was it really worth it to question what happened? Was it worth the pain that she was inflicting on Matt by being the nosey little person she was known for being?

"What happened?"

"…"

"Matt, please tell us."

The gamer sighed heavily as he looked up, trails of liquid marking his pale features and causing his eyes to pop. Sayu gasped as he watched her intentionally; his eyes were electrifying. They were bright, riddled with humiliation, guilt, regret, pain and more importantly, love. He pulled his hand away from Misa and laid them across the plain of the table in front of him, keeping to himself as he searched around the café for something to look at while he told the story behind their breakup. "We were caught."

"… I had stupidly gone to see him at his house as it was getting dark Friday night. Since school started I felt like we were drifting… because of the barrier between his clique and ours. I wanted to know that things were still the same, despite having to hide our relationship from the prejudices of school," he inhaled sharply, allowing his tears to freely track his cheeks.

"Matt, you don't have to tell us." Sayu protested his answering her, and instead offered him a shoulder to cry on.

"You know how it feels, right?" He dejectedly diverted his gaze back to the table.

"How what feels?" She asked, hesitantly bringing a hand to gently rub across the span of his shoulders.

"This. It feels like… I can't even begin to describe how it feels, but it's there and it hurts. If I hadn't been so fucking retarded I would still have him, Sayu! He would still be mine…"

Furrowing her brows, she ceased all movement. "What'd you do, Matt?"

"That's a bit personal," he chuckled darkly.

"Oh. You did _it?"_ Misa, who had been silently watching the ordeal, asked.

"Yeah, Misa. We did it," Matt looked up, pushing the hair out of his face, "and his mother caught us. She caught us having sex!"

They blanched, looking from one to another before three sets of wide eyes stared at him incredulously.

"Dude, who watches their kid have sex?" Sayu piped in, disrupting the silence.

"Mello's mom," Matt retorted.

"And she's the reason behind you guys breaking up?"

_Duh._

"But you know what doesn't make any sense?" Matt asked, sliding his fingers through his hair as he sat upright. "If she hates the idea of Mello being gay, and if Mello knows this… why is he with your brother? Mello knows that someone is bound to tell his mother about them making out today, he fucking knows!"

"I don't know, Matt." Sayu vocalized, fingering the hole in the sleeve of her jacket. "I don't know…"

"It doesn't make sense. What if he didn't love me, Sayu? What if he was just using me to get to Light?" Matt's face scrunched up at the thought of Mello using him.

The blond had been his world, and he was more than positive that he was the certain of the universe for the chocoholic. Matt had given everything he could to Mello, and for what?

Matt turned around, clearly intent on finding the people that were to blame for his changed outlook on life. And there they were, huddled together at the same table he had seen them at before. Mello was leaning into Light's touch, a seemingly serene smile painted across his lips.

Light, however, was paying no attention to the blond; no, mister popular himself was looking directly at Matt, a smirk firmly planted on his face. The red head narrowed his eyes, and the beginnings of a staring contest began. He wouldn't lose to Light if he had anything to do with it. No body would take Mello away from him, they were supposed to be together; they were supposed to have their happily ever after.

Mello was the girl in the movie he had thought of, aside from the cheating part. Though, for all it was worth, this was just as bad as cheating. Light reigned in as the perverted, no sexual skill doofus. And Matt, even though he lacked the courage to march up to their table and take Mello back like he wanted, was the loyal boyfriend. But, in this version, Matt wouldn't need to find anyone else to replace what he'd lost. He would get his happily ever after with Mello, even if it killed him.

In the midst of all his thinking Matt realized a little too late that Mello was looking at him, having been directed towards his previous lover by the intense gaze of his current. Mello watched as Matt shook his head, eyes wide and looking like a deer in headlights. Even though they were seated on opposite ends of the room, he didn't fail to notice the tears glistening in the corners of Matt's eyes or the forlorn look that twisted his face. Frowning, Mello momentarily looked up at Light, who had, at that moment, taken it upon himself to place an open mouthed kiss against the younger male's lips. Mello brought his hands up and pushed against his chest, forcing the Yagami son away.

"What the fuck? You little prick!" Resonated from the far end of the café, and Matt knew that he had to get away. All the confidence he had gathered during their childish game of staring each other down had vanished, and all he knew was that if he didn't retreat immediately that he would regret staying there.

"Fuck you, Light!" Mello shouted and tore his heated gaze away from the brunet, looking longingly towards the table that Matt had once been seated at. And the only people he saw were the ones that he claimed to be his friends. Matt had left.

* * *

So how was it? I would like to think that it's not as bad as I think, but every author has their own opinion when it comes to their writing.

In regards to the new drama... I need all the support I can get at the moment, as over the span of the last seven hours I learned that a close friend tried to kill himself yesterday. As I was at work, I had been the last person to hear of this, and upon finding out when I got off at work midnight... I nearly broke down. If it hadn't been for my brother texting him and telling him, "you're my best friend. I love you" as well as convincing him to call for help, he would have died. He lost so much blood... he had been taken to the hospital sometime yesterday to fix the damage and have a blood transfusion, and as of now he's being held in a local mental facility.

And, as always... read and review, please?

next chapter - a note and an explaination.


	9. o9

Guys, I am so incredibly sorry for the short chapters lately, and I'm even more sorry for taking so long to update. It has dawned on me that the only time I update this is when I'm upset, but... I guess, that's better then not updating at all? After all, the reviews make me smile when I feel like I can't anymore; and for that, I thank everyone of you that have taken the time to review this story, to read this story or just take a minute out of your life to simply glance at it.

Enjoy.

* * *

"_And I don't want to say that I wasted my days chasing instead of catching, keeping.  
Wasting wishes on copper and stars.  
I'm wanting you to save me and I'm not only asking,  
because I can face this falling; it's just taking that I fell.  
I'm breaking down."_

_- Copper and Stars, Planes Mistaken for Stars.  
_

_

* * *

_

The corridor closed in on itself, ridding all available space as it began to devour the gamer. Still, Matt pushed his way through the tight area on a one way track to his creative writing classroom. Time seemed to slow down with each agonizing step he took, minutes pooling into short seconds as he sped up. It appeared to the red head that no matter how fast he walked, he wasn't able to evade the voice calling out to him from the opposite end of the hallway.

"Matt!" It followed him, bouncing off the beige walls, escalating from one end to the other.

In response, Matt picked up speed for a second time before rounding the corner and entering the room. He didn't feel like dealing with humanity on any level at the moment. Mainly, it was just Mello, who was currently stalking down the exact hallway Matt had taken, in pursuit of his ex-boyfriend. Matt winced as he drew closer, the stomping of his shoes against the floor contributing to Matt's realization that he was cornered between a rock and a hard place.

"Matt…?" Mello asked quietly, bracing himself against the door jam.

"What?" Matt snapped.

"Look… I can ex--" the blond froze as Matt looked from his position in his personalized assigned seat, emerald orbs coaxing Mello into momentary submission.

"You can what, Mello? You can explain? I'd like to see you try," he snorted, rolling his eyes, "because as far as I'm concerned it looks like you were just using your mother as a way to break up with me. Fuck, Mello."

The pain in his voice was evident as he spoke, and Mello noticed as he stood watching the other teenager try to calm himself down. Mello could see that it was taking a lot of Matt to keep himself composed and not cry in front of him, because God forbid, he'd done enough crying for the both of them over the past weekend. Mello's eyes grew wide with fear, confusion and anticipation as Matt leaned back on his chair, shaking his head slightly in attempt to rid himself of the jumbled thoughts coursing through his mind.

"Matt," the blond pushed away from the door and walked towards him.

"If you wanted Light so fucking bad you should have just told me, Mello! It would have saved us both a lot of trouble," he cringed at the idea of not having experienced the last couple months, his voice was small as he continued, "it would have saved us a lot of time…"

Blinking, the chocolate addict halted and drew back, listening to Matt sigh as he fought with the strap on his carrier bag. The assumption hit Mello hard and he found himself quickly wanting to flee from the room. It wasn't like Matt to assume things without digging deeper in search for the truth, especially when it came to that aspect of his life. Then again, it wasn't like Mello to jump from relationship to relationship; from heaven to hell.

Afraid to look at Matt as he fumbled around for something in his bag, and knowing that if he did, he'd probably lose it, Mello stared dumbly at his feet. The room they were in, much like the halls had done, grew smaller. Each of the four walls pulled inwards, suffocating both boys as they awkwardly occupied themselves while waiting for the other to speak up. Mello had begun to find it hard to breath, but that didn't stop him from opening his mouth as Matt finally dropped his notebook onto the desk in front of him.

"Matt," his voice was soft, "it isn't like that… I, this thing with Light… Matt, I need you to understand."

He slid a hand through golden locks, tugging at the roots as he stepped closer to his own seat, directly beside Matt. Why couldn't he explain the situation to Matt? It was unnerving to hear his words stumble out of his mouth, mocking him as he tried to construct a simple sentence that he hoped would keep Matt from completely breaking ties with him.

If he couldn't be with him the way he wanted, he still wanted to be part of the red head's life. Mello still wanted to be his friend, if anything at all. It was going against what his mother wanted, and even when she had begun to throw threats at him the previous night, he insisted that she wasn't going to force him out of Matt's life. And now, with Light's sudden knowledge about their hidden romance, Mello felt more inclined to push for that friendship.

Only, a possible friendship was up to Matt. It would mean that he would have to cease with the childish accusations and forgive Mello for being a prick. But, could Matt progress into such a relationship after having given his everything to him? Could he honestly agree to being near Mello as Light attacked the same spots on his necks in attempt to mark what has already been claimed? Could Matt survive being friends with a boy he was in love with? It would only make things more awkward, and in the end, nothing good would come of it. Mello had hope that Matt would want to salvage what they lost, even if that hope was false.

"Understand that we were a lie? A joke," Matt spat viciously. "I understand completely."

Mello, who had finally reached his ex lover, stood beside him. His eyes were trained on Matt as he expanded out with each intake of air, "No, Matt. That's not it."

"Then what?" Matt hesitantly looked up, and for the first time, Mello saw the raw insecurities that had plagued Matt from the beginning. Jade spheres were shining, guarded and riddled with tears as his body lightly trembled. Matt wasn't as strong as he pretended to be.

"Oh," came a third voice, "eager to get back to work?"

Mello's gaze shifted from Matt to Mr. Cates as he stepped into the classroom, a faint smirk on his face. Dropping a very unorganized binder onto the table in the front of the room, he sat down, his head tilted to the side as he watched the two lone students idly. They didn't seem to be doing the assigned work, but they had also left lunch early to gather in the room before the rest of their classmates returned. That had to mean something, right?

"So, Mello. What's your short story about?" Mr. Cates asked, taking a sip from the black coffee cup settled between his hands.

With an eyebrow delicately arched, the blond shrugged listlessly. He hadn't a care in the world when it came to something as trivial as a short story. He was too worried about the red head seated with the side of his face flat against the desk.

Mello recalled the teacher reciting a line from his stack of papers, presumably something from one of his favourite authors, that was the prompt for the work they were to finish and hand in at the end of class. Only, Mello didn't pay attention to the teacher as he droned on about said prompt, giving his students directions on how to complete it for a full grade. The blond had been preoccupied by thoughts revolving around him and Matt, occasionally allowing his eyes to stray to the gamer as he stared blankly at his desk.

"I don't know," Mello stated blandly, earning a quick shake of the teacher's head. It was easier to tell him that he hadn't made up his mind than to explain to his teacher that he didn't care about the assignment.

"I suggest you decide quickly. You have until the end of class to finish," his teacher's deep voice commanded, "take a pointer from Matt and start working on it now before the bell rings. It's not difficult, Mello. It shouldn't take you long."

"Wh--" Mello's eyes quickly left the teacher and focused on Matt, who had his head low and right hand diligently moving along the lined paper below his face. The once white page that Mello had seen before was full, save for several lines at that bottom that Matt's pen was currently scribbling across. That wasn't there before, the blond knew, because he'd been secretly watching the other teenager.

Had he really completed so much in such a small amount of time? And, Mello wondered, what was he writing so enthusiastically about?

"Matt?"

"What?" He looked over at Mello from behind the crimson curtain blocking his face, an eyebrow arched as he waited for the other speak.

"I'm sorry," he gingerly spoke behind the ringing of the warning lunch bell, unsure if Matt had caught his apology or if it had been wasted.

Rolling his eyes, the gamer turned back to his current fixation. He tightly gripped his blue ballpoint pen between his fingers, lined the tip on the paper and horridly crossed out the last line he had written. It was already embarrassing enough that he was taking the time to work on a note that would probably be shoved into the abyss of Mello's bag, so he didn't feel the need to further said embarrassment with cheesy one liners. It wasn't like it would actually mean anything to the blond, considering that he had apparently moved on despite his failed attempts to apologize and explain so that Matt could understand.

A startling shrill brought Matt from his paper, and he noticed as he allowed his eyes to wander around the room that his fellow students were packing up their books and readying themselves for their next class. Blinking, he silently wondered when the hell lunch had ended and where the remainder of his creative class had gone to. When caught up in something, Matt surely wasn't that observant, even though he had heard the lunch bell ring for his class to resume so long ago.

Matt's eyes scanned over the words he had written and he sighed, thoroughly pleased with the way his note - letter - had turned out. He'd put a lot of thought into what he wanted to say to Mello, and after much thinking during lunch, he'd finally been able to capture it.

But, would Mello accept it? Secretly the red head feared that his ex wouldn't bother with it, as his earlier musings made him realize. Regardless, he'd spent the last thirty minutes trying to perfect his emotions onto this parchment and he hoped that somewhere in Mello something would nag at him until he read the two page confession.

"Place your work on the corner of the desk," Mr. Cates stated, motioning to the spot where he wanted the assignments to go, "and I will see you on Friday. And! It is journal day, so bring your notebooks with you!"

Shaking his head at his teacher and the work he hadn't bothered to complete, Matt slipped the two sheets of paper onto Mello's desk, wary of touching the blond as he struggled with sliding his notebook into his bag. Surprised that he had actually given the papers to Mello without touching him, he sadly smiled to himself as he stood up and grabbed his carrier bag from the floor beside his desk. The rest of the day would press on fairly smooth, Matt hoped as he walked through the door into the hallway without so much as looking back to see if Mello was okay. He had to stay strong, right? If he didn't stay strong then no one else would, at least not for him.

"What the…?" Mello looked down at his desk, a puzzled eyebrow arched. "The hell is this?"

Cerulean orbs ghosted over the chicken scratch briefly. It didn't take the blond long to register that this didn't belong to him, as he knew that his handwriting was more neater than the scribbled sentences on the paper in his posession. Who did it belong to then? And why was it on his desk of all places?

Mello rolled his eyes, feigning interest in the sheets as he slipped the strap of his bag over his shoulder, fingers curling into the paper. Quickly he retreated from the room and began his descent for his final sixth block, hoping that he wouldn't get held back from finding out what had been written on the papers locked in his death grip.

Oh, he was curious. He wanted to know. He _had_ to know what was written down.

"Mello," sounded a familiar voice, demanding his attention, "get over here."

"W-What?" The blond stumbled, looking up from the papers he'd been progressively balling into his fist.

"I said get over here!" Light shouted, making Mello shiver.

"What do you want, Light?"

"You know what I want," he spat, roughly capturing Mello's lips with his mouth.

"What the fuck!?" Mello growled, pulling away from the auburn haired teen.

"So you want to play it that way, Mello?" Light stepped closer to him, an evil glint dancing in golden spheres as he watched Mello.

Retaliating for the way he had been so publicly humiliated, Light extended a hand out to tightly grip Mello's arm, his nails breaking skin as he leaned in, his words cold as he threatened, ""If this is how you want to play, then I can do it too. Keep your eyes on your little boyfriend, Mello, or he might end up missing."

"H-he's not my boyfriend!" Mello shouted back as he pushed Light backwards, forcing his body to collide into a group of unsuspecting girls that had decided to watch the scene unfolding in the hallway. One girl squealed, surprised or just happy to touch the evil bastard, Mello wasn't sure, but he did know that he needed to get away from there before anyone noticed the trail of tears that leaked from his eyes.

Clambering towards the bathroom at the end of the corridor, the chocoholic kept his pace up, stopping only to make the sharp turn into the vacant room. The warning bell mocked him as he weakly walked to a single stall, shutting and closing the door as he took up residence on the floor, his back against the wall.

Why did everything have to go against him? Why couldn't he get a moment's peace? Since his mother had found out about his relationship with Matt he'd been put through a whirlwind of tests, and forced into something he never wanted. Why did his parents have to shove him towards the one person he hated most in the entire school? Light Yagami was and had always been the enemy, and nothing would change that.

Absolutely nothing.

"Damn it!" Mello slammed his head back against the wall and pulled his knees up towards his chest. This wasn't how he expected to spend the rest of his day; this wasn't how he intended to confront Matt with the truth.

Plucking the crumbled papers that he had somehow gotten into his pants pocket out, Mello eyed them warily, a sense of confusion wracking through him as he noticed the name elegantly scribed along the back.

"Matt…?" He choked, unfolding the balls and straightening them on the floor in front of him. "Is this so important you couldn't tell me to my face?"

Azure globes stared at the first word, afraid to take the plunge and read further. Mello knew the gamer had spent his time writing all last period, but he never thought that he'd been writing something for him. This was what he'd been working on, right? Reluctantly, the blond laid the first page on his knees and he began to read.

* * *

Ah, shit. I planned for Matt's note to be in this chapter, but Matt couldn't agree with me on what to write, so I'm dedicating the next chapter solely to this note. Sorry. ]: Anyways, I know it's slightly choppy, but... who cares.

Do any of you guys feel stupid when you go back to work on a chapter or story and realize that you're writing has changed? I've been doing that a lot recently, which has been another reason for this update to take so long. I feel like this chapter started out good and then turned to shit. Oh well.

Read and review, please.

next chapter - the note! the dreaded note! and an idea.


	10. 1o

It has been a month since I last updated this and I'm sorry guys. You have no idea how hard this was for me to write. I couldn't half ass Matt's note. I tried and found that it didn't seem anywhere near as personal as it should have been. I had to get into the mindset of losing a significant other, and trust me, it wasn't fun. It took me four failed attempts to even decide how I wanted to start this. I deleted everything as I wrote it, and finally this came to me. So, I'm sorry it has taken so long.

I've also been getting myself for November, in which two conventions are going on basically back to back. There's a two week separation in between them and that's it. Plus, getting the things for my new cosplays has been ridiculous. Money is a hard thing to come by, even when you have a job. It sucks.

Okay, so I don't confuse anymore. _Italics are Matt's note._ Non italic writing is Mello while reading the note. Got it? Good.

I suggest you listen to the song as you read this chapter, it fits completely, though it isn't necessary.

Enjoy!

* * *

_"When we're together, I feel perfect.  
When I'm pulled away from you, I fall apart.  
All you say is sacred to me.  
Your eyes are so blue,  
I can't look away."_

_- You, Evanescence._

_

* * *

  
_

_Mello,_

His eyes ghosted over the papers laying lazily against his knees, afraid to read farther than his name. Mello knew that he wasn't stable enough to read what Matt had taken the time to write, but he also knew that if he didn't, he would be wondering what it was about as the wrinkled papers burned a hole in his pocket. It was a win-lose situation for the blond, but that didn't matter as he sat leaning against the wall of the secluded bathroom and trying to calm himself down. He wasn't going to class as it was, so what harm would it do to read the letter?

_I love you._

_No, wait, scratch that. I don't want to start off that way, because odds are you probably don't care. I mean, hell, I wouldn't care either if I could be arm candy for Light. _

_Then how do I start this, Mello? _

_My mind is swimming with things I have to say, but I can't do it. It's hard to trust someone when they've completely fucked up and took you for granted. _

_But, hey, Mello…_

_Did you enjoy the sex? Did you enjoy the whispered frailties? The affection; the attention; the kisses; the simple acts of cuddling under the stars. Did you enjoy the way your name left my mouth during our most passionate moments? Did you enjoy it? The way I made you feel that night we were found. _

Mello nodded his answer silently, hoping that somewhere Matt knew he was responding to him. He had enjoyed it - the sex, the words, everything. He had even enjoyed the things that his gamer had forgotten to list.

_I did, Mello, and I thank you for giving a piece of you to me, especially that part. At least that's one thing Light doesn't have of yours. It makes me almost smile thinking about how frustrated he'll be when he realizes that you've already been taken - really, think about; can't you hear him freaking out over it when you tell him, "oh, Matt beat you to it."? If it weren't for the fact that I'm writing this in class, Mello, I would have laughed at that image… because it's funny, really._

Mello softly smiled, clearly hearing Matt's soft spoken voice mocking Light in a moment that should be victorious. He could have laughed at the mental Matt had given him, but he pushed it to the back of his mind, opting to not think about him and Light in such an intimate setting. Those moments were reserved for the red head only, and if he had to go behind Light to get a piece of heaven, then he would. He wouldn't give any part of himself to the Yagami student, at least not without a fight.

_But, yeah. I'm starting to stray from my original point. _

_Did you enjoy me, Mello? I hope you did, even if I wasn't all that good. I'm sorry for that too, by the way. I was, as I'm sure you've noticed, a virgin until we met. So, did you like it? Are you happy with my gift?_

"You're sorry? Matt, that's ridiculous!" Mello exclaimed to no one, drawing his knees up closer to his chest. "You were amazing..."

_I should stop with the questions now. I'm not going to get any answers, so there's no point in asking you anything. But am I really asking you these things? I mean, this letter - note? - doesn't constitute for actually asking you anything. I'm not doing the speaking, unless you can hear my voice when you read this… which would be kind of weird. _

_Enough of my rambling…_

_You know, the day I met you I thought I'd found an angel. Silly, I know. I thought that for once my life was beginning to look up, and it was your fault. It was because you spotted me amongst the crowd; nobody else paid attention to the secluded boy playing video games against the wall in the artist alley. But you did, Mello. And when I realized that you had seen me, I felt like everything would okay._

_And that's why I disappeared. I was afraid that the moment things began to get better it would all be torn out from under me. (I guess I had a reason to be scared, eh, Mello?) I watched as you turned around to look for me, your eyes were wide and bright. Were you curious, Mello? Curious of the boy that paid no mind to his surroundings and instead focused on a handheld gaming platform. I'd be curious too, and to be honest, I was. _

The corners of his lips twitched, and he found himself remembering the moment he saw the blur of black and white disappearing from his sight. He didn't want to get up from the chair he had gotten comfortable in, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him and he decided to search for the mysterious person. Mello found Matt leaning nonchalantly against the wall in a nook beside an exit. He was staring at his hands with mild interest, and he looked so intriguing. Mello had been nervous about approaching him, but if asked if he was, he would blatantly deny it and claim that he just didn't want to scare Matt off with how straight forward he was. Regardless, the blond remembered the first time he saw Matt and he could still recall the things that swam through his head as he waltzed toward the recluse of a boy. The first moment he laid his eyes on Matt would forever be etched in his mind as one of his fondest memories, located somewhere behind their first sexual encounter and to the left of the time Matt confessed his love for him.

_Why did you notice me? And why were you so caught up in trying to find me after I had deliberately evacuated the area? There you were, standing in the center of the hall and searching for me, a boy you'd never seen or met in your life, with two ear buds in your ears and a look of utter confusion on your beautiful face. I smiled when you finally spotted me leaving the alley, and that smile became much bigger when I looked up and saw that you were walking towards me. I played it cool though and took to staring at my game, even though I had paused it the moment you rounded the corner.  
_

_God, you have no idea how good you looked in that instant, Mello. I knew you were nervous when you walked up to me, your eyes gave that away. I could tell from a few feet of distance that you weren't entirely sure how you were going to talk to me, but I get that a lot. It's always been something about me, I guess. Am I intimidating? I don't think I am. _

_Still, you made your way over to me and the moment you opened your mouth and stuttered your sloppy greeting, I could see myself falling for you. Your voice sent a shiver up my spine, but I don't think you noticed that, thank god. Oh, and Mello, I know that I came off as a little rude and I'm sorry for that. I can't help it though, that's just how I am when it comes to people I don't know. _

_Y'know how I am, right? Right. _

_Anyways, the small talk wasn't important, however the prompt that you gave me in order to ease my boredom was. I used to think that you were only using me to relieve yourself of convention boredom (because trust me, I know how that goes when it starts to get late and you have nothing to do), but then I finally realized that that wasn't the case as you pushed me more about making out with you - my mind tried to me convince that you wanted it just as much as I did, even if I was a bit hesitant._

_And then, as you proclaimed that you thought I was 'hot' and placed your lips on mine, I knew we were be more than just some little convention fling. I felt the sparks as our lips met, and the sensation that sped up my spine that inevitably turned to me. Did you feel it too, Mello? You had to have. It was there. It was obvious, and if the fan girls were any indication to our chemistry, well… y'know where I'm going with this. _

With a trembling hand, Mello lightly brushed his fingers across his lips. He could still taste Matt from the last time they were together, even though Light had tried to taint that taste with his own. Mello blinked, willing the tears that had begun to fill the bottom of his eyes back. He couldn't cry. He wouldn't cry. He wanted to save the tears for the end, when he knew that they would be expected to stain the wrinkled paper. If he knew the red head at all, Matt would leave the end to be touching, raw and honest. Mello had to prepare himself for what he knew was at the end of this note, wherever that end was.

_Your hands were on me and mine were you on and we were lost in a sea of lust that neither of us could contain. And then it was over as soon as it started, of course this was after I heard the sound of a several cameras snapping and a girl squealing over having taped our little session. I still haven't looked for that on youtube, Mello. I think I should, just for old times sake. It'll hurt, I know, but it was one of the better times in my life._

Leave it to Matt to think of searching for their make out session online. Mello chuckled lightly at the idea of the gamer sitting in front of his computer and typing in 'hot boys making out at convention'. Would that video even be posted?

_Hey, I have a question. _

_If you knew what things were like for you back at home then why did you let yourself get so engrossed in our little weekend romance? I would have totally pushed me away if I had an egotistical bastard back home swearing that I was his property. That would have saved us a lot of trouble, Mello. We wouldn't be in this predicament had you remembered that Light was waiting for you back home. None of this would be happening, Mello! _

_I wouldn't spend the majority of my night staring at the ceiling with 'what if' scenarios running through my head. I wouldn't find my pillows wet in the morning as I woke up, knowing that I'd spent the night crying over what we had. I wouldn't feel the need to puke every time I see you and Light in the hall together, or hear about what a 'wonderful couple' you guys make. _

"Oh, Matt," he whispered.

_Wait. I thought Light was straight. Isn't he straight?_

_I'm running out of lines to write on, Mello. I've exhausted the blank space given to me, and I'm heading onto page three now. I didn't think I had this much to say to you after everything, but boy, I guess I was wrong. And it's only going to get worse from this point on, Mello, so if you're still reading this… I would stop. I am already having enough trouble trying to convince myself to keep going, knowing that once I get everything off my shoulders I won't feel as bad. Or will I? _

_I've never gone through this before…_

_What's it like kissing him, Mello? Do his lips feel the same? Do the butterflies flutter in your stomach when he leans in and steals a silent promise from you? I know they did when we kissed. _

_Do his hands feel the same as mine as they caress your body, Mello? Are they soft? They look like they would be. _

_Y'know, the more I think about the idea of the two of you being an item, the more I start to believe that you never were mine. At least, it was nice to think that you were mine until school started back up. But, if you look at the big picture, you never were mine. You always belonged to Light or to your parents righteous ideals. _

Sighing heavily, he ran a hand through his hair. His fingers lightly padded his scalp as he dropped his other hand to the floor, curling his digits into the palm. The discarded first two pages of Matt's note brushed against his knuckles as he fought to make himself smaller and less noticeable. Mello closed his eyes, mentally scolding himself for giving up on the only person that was consistent in his life. The only person that made him feel needed and loved.

And, the red head had been right, he knew. He never belonged to Matt because Light was looming in the background like the boogie man awaiting the wrong doings of a child.

"Matt," he murmured, "it doesn't have to be like this."

_When I walked into the lunch room and saw you guys together a thought ran through my mind, and as much as I hate to think that you were lying in using your mom as an excuse to break up with me, I can't help but wonder. _

_If she hates the prospect of you being with another male, then why are you with Light? Isn't she against the idea of homosexuality and everything that comes with it? One would think that you would have jumped onto the straight bandwagon instead of throwing yourself at Light Yagami. You must really hate yourself if you're willing to give up happiness for that. But that isn't my problem… it's yours now, and yours alone. _

_Well, I'm starting to run onto the back of the third page now and there's only fifteen minutes left in class, so I better say what I wanted to say in the first place. I just hope it doesn't end with you wanting to completely avoid me, though that would seem like the better option when it comes to the healing process. _

_Only…_

_I don't think I'll ever get over it…_

A lump formed in the back of his throat and he wound his arms around his knees, one hand tightly clutching his pants and the other curling into the single sheet of paper in front of him. The tears that he had pushed away resurfaced and were quietly waiting to stain Mello's face. He knew he wasn't going to be able to hold himself up any longer - he could no longer stay strong.

Pulling his eyes away from the grey letters that had begun to mix together, he stared off into the space in attempt to recollect himself and clear his vision.

_I love you, Mello. I love you more than anything else in the world - more than you know; hell, more than I probably know. _

_You mean the world to me, and if I have to give you up to Light in order for you to find happiness (or false happiness), then I will. I only want the best for you, and that obviously isn't me. I'm sure he'll treat you well, if you let him. _

_And, Mello. I'm sorry I couldn't be your everything, but I want you to know that you were mine. You **still** are. Mello, you mean the world to me and that'll never change, even when we've both gone our separate ways and no longer remember anything about each other - you'll still be the person I think about when I fall asleep at night and the person I think about the moment I wake up. _

_Just… I can't, wow. I think I'm going to cry here, Mello. I don't think that'd be a wise idea in class. I'd get weird looks and you would worry… and that would only get you in trouble with Light._

A single tear hit the the paper, and it was then that Mello realized Matt had been crying while writing. He had been silently suffering beside him. His blurry eyesight caught random spots of darker paper, where words were slightly distorted and off. Matt had cried, despite his saying he didn't want to because of the surroundings and situations at hand. The proof was stained on the paper, beside the fresh wet spots that Mello was currently dampening the last page with. Matt had cried because of him.

_So, hey. It's alright if you want to forget about me. I understand completely. I'll go back to being a fly on the wall and I'll remove myself from your group of friends that you never actually hang out with. It'll be like we never happened; like I never existed. _

_I've been told over the last couple days that I don't understand what love is, Mello, that I'm too young to fully grasp that idea. Well, y'know, they can all kiss my ass, because I do get it. And, Mello. The way I see it is…_

_True love only happens once in a lifetime, and even then most people don't ever get the opportunity to experience it… but, I believe I'm one of the lucky ones that has been given the chance to experience it at such an early age in my life. _

_I love you, Mello. I truly do, with everything I am… and I don't think any amount of words can reiterate it anymore than I already have. _

_So, later, Mello. It's been fun. I hope you've enjoyed yourself too._

_I love you._

_ Forever and always,_

_Matt._

_P.S - I have an idea to win you back, Mello. And the moment I see your relationship with Light turning to shit, I'm going to fight for you. I'll never give up._

"I'm sorry," the blond choked, holding back a sob that was beginning to hurt his chest. "I never meant for it to turn out this way."

Mello dropped his head down to his knees, the final piece of paper sliding off his lap as he hugged his knees to his body. He screwed his eyes shut as he cried, loudly voicing his opinion on the matter to the empty bathroom.

* * *

If there are any typos please inform me. It is 4am, I'm exhausted and my foot has gone to sleep. Shit, my entire right leg has. 3:

And on another note, this is more personal to me that you would think. Matt's 'true love only happens once...' paragraph was actually said to me when I was sixteen by a boy that I had given my all to. It's extremely personal, and it fit Matt's mood for this perfectly. I based his note around that one paragraph, because really... a piece of writing is far better with something personal to the author/authoress than just winging it. Sorry if that offends anyone.

Read and review please.

next chapter - light and mello take a turn for the worse. and oh, who is that? a new person? score!


	11. 11

I can't believe I haven't updated this since September. I'm terribly sorry! x.x; I guess it's time for the excuses, if you guys will forgive me them, that is. October is one of the busiest months at work, hell, the rest of the year is pretty damn busy to be honest. I've been working my ass off. I also cosplayed Axel at work on Halloween night! :D That was fun. Nekocon was two weeks ago and I had been spending a lot of time preparing for that. And then, work from the 9 - 19 without an off day. And today, I leave for AUSA (anime usa) for Saturday and half of Sunday. If any of you guys are attending, that aren't already there or have internet access at which hotel you're in, find me sometime today! I'll be hanging around my friend who is dressing up as a fucking Elf because Christmas is almost here! xD

That and I started a new story for Kingdom Hearts. And, have posted a short Halloween something KKM. Check 'em out if you like either game or anime series.

Also! I was supposed to introduce someone new to this chapter, but considering that I wanted to add a little humour into it for the sake of a comedic break from all the drama, and that I wanted to dedicate more than a paragraph to this person-- I'm going to bring this person in on the next chapter. It made perfect sense to end this chapter where I did.

Anyways. Enjoy.

* * *

_"I looked at the Rubens and Rembrandts.  
I liked the John Singer Sargents.  
He told me he liked Turner,  
and never have I turned since then.  
No, never have I turned to any other man_."

_- The Art Teacher, Rufus Wainwright.

* * *

  
_

The rest of the week progressed slowly, creeping forwards and running into the weekend. It had been painful to endure, for both Matt and Mello, as they ignored each others presence more than they ever had before.

In reality, however, it appeared that Matt was doing more of the ignoring than Mello, considering that he kept his promise and become another speck in the carnivorous circus that was high school. He'd pushed his small group of friends away, opting to go about on his own and do things that wouldn't remind him of the blond-- no matter how hard it had been.

At first he had been wary about moving on, afraid that at nearly every corner he would run into Mello and his life would be sent into a downward spiral of betrayal and tears. Afraid that he would have to face Light, who recently wanted to cave the side of his head in for making Mello momentarily forget about him and his selfish needs. Matt wanted nothing more than to disappear from the hallways of their school, or at least, just from Mello's life.

He even got the notion to beg his father to move back home. That alone had been something the redhead wasn't entirely sure about, as he never asked - or begged - his paternal unit for anything.

In any case, Matt found that getting along with his life wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be. He took alternate routes to and from class or lunch, avoided the bathrooms and rooms that he had seen either Mello or Light travel into, and he kept his head down while ignoring the calls from his former friends. Matt wasn't ready for questions from any of them, especially Misa, because God only knows the girl is loaded with them.

Sayu on the other hand, knew everything from her sibling's perspective, even though she had decided the majority of it was nothing but bull. Light had been known to stretch the truth or just outright lie. The conniving bastard.

But, as the week continued on and neither teen paid attention to the other, Saturday happened and rather forcefully, might I add. Not that it was a bad thing, because it wasn't, as it meant that Matt could lay in bed all day or play video games without a problem.

Yet, the same couldn't have been said for Mello.

At the crack of dawn his mother shot into his room like a bullet into the heart of the damned, demanding that her son wake up and help her get ready for her seminar later in the day. She recited irrelevant versus from the bible that she had memorized, throwing them at Mello as if he were actually paying any mind to the old bat. His mother claimed that in order for Mello to rest easily, he should study one verse a day, because that was a sure fire way into Heaven and he wouldn't be chastised for his sinful ways.

But, seriously, were his ways really that sinful? Considering that she had spoken to Mello's father about his sexuality, stating some mumbo jumbo about, "if our son is gay then he should be with someone that is going somewhere in life" - hence, where the relationship with Light came in.

Apparently the only redeeming quality about being gay was finding a wealthy man, which made Mello think that his parents were nothing more than materialistic individuals and that the grief they gave him about it 'upsetting God' was nothing but crap. His parents wanted a ride, and with their only child hanging onto Light's arm, then a ride they would surely receive. Mello hated his parents more than anything the minute he realized this, which had been the day they beckoned Light's family over for a get together.

Good friends always get what good friends want, he learned. And that was the beginning of a rocky relationship that Mello wanted no part in. Then why had Light been so possessive over him before the arranged relationship?

"Mello, are you even listening to me?" His mother questioned with her hands planted firmly on her hips.

"Uh… yes?"

"You're lying, Mello. Lying is a sin, and you know what happens to sinners?" Her right eye twitched, and Mello nodded unenthusiastically.

"What happens?"

"They go to Hell," he deadpanned, having heard the speech she was preparing in her head over a million times. Rolling his eyes, he sat up and stared blankly at her, watching as her lips formed words but not hearing anything.

It hadn't been more than ten minutes later that Mello found himself being throttled back to reality as his mother finished with a grand, "how did I have such a sinful child?"

Yes, how did you?

After noticing that the blond wouldn't be getting up to help her, she stormed out and sputtered something about getting his father involved with his misbehaving attitude. Mello was, according to his maternal parent, a nuisance that needed to be dealt with. God was obviously not going to help him, and that thought alone made him smirk.

-X-

The sun rose in the middle of the sky, indicating that noon had approached and would soon be departing to welcome the night. It bothered the redhead, causing him to turn over onto his side and open his eyes to a blanched wall.

Groaning annoyingly, he rubbed the sleep away and sat up. Today obviously wasn't going to work out as planned, seeing that he had woken up shortly after twelve when he normally slept until the evening. Why was getting sleep harder now? Matt could never get enough of it.

The redhead had no intentions of even setting up his gaming systems, as most of those he played with wouldn't be on until later that night. That unfortunately left with ten hours to spare and naught a thing to do. Matt considered his possibilities, plowing through each idea like a man playing the piano. He could literally hear his ideas forming music in his mind, thus making him dub himself crazy in the most sane way possible.

Wait-- did that even make sense?

Gaming was obviously out the question, as was sleeping any further. He could always go out and hope to find something to get into, but then he would potentially harm himself by being out in the sun. Matt liked being a ghost, thanks. Still, that option wasn't necessarily thrown to the wind - or in this case - to the minuscule pieces of dust floating around the air.

He could always trek over to the mall, because they had a mean arcade and from what he remembered the games weren't half bad. But, that arcade housed memories that Matt wasn't ready to relive. It had been in that obnoxiously loud place that Mello had found him after they'd left each other; one sullenly waiting for the elevator to lower him to the lobby and the other walking out of the electric doors. So, that idea was out of the question. Video games of any form obviously weren't going to happen.

Matt decided as he was haphazardly hanging off the bed, his knuckles lightly brushing the floor, that he would spend the next few hours at the park. Why the park? Well, because the serene nature provided the essentials when it came to getting out of one's head and ridding one's self of a negative mindset. At least, that was the way Matt looked at; and oh, how right his foreshadowing mind had been.

-X-

Mello folded the note up and placed it into a hidden compartment of his carrier bag; he was hiding it from a certain annoyance that would definitely search his bag. A part of him wished that he hadn't remembered the note, because then he wouldn't have read it before he was due to go out. Then again, the blond needed something to keep his day going. What better way than reading a note from a loved one he'd been banned from seeing? No matter how much sense it didn't make to the normal mind, it made plenty of sense to him.

Pulling the bag over his head, he fixed it so one strap lay across his chest and sighed. He would be spending the day with Light and his family; something he wasn't looking forward to at all. The only plus side to this little adventure would be that he would see Sayu, his supposed friend turned distant acquaintance. She would provide him with the laughs he needed, as she normally did when he was forced to spend long periods of time with Light.

"I'm gone," he called to the house as he reached the front door, knowing that neither of his parents cared.

The moment he opened the door his eyes found Light's car, and they rolled. Leave it to the heir of the Yagami fortune to show up in something over the top. Mello could hear soft music playing from it's interior, but knew that it wasn't as gentle as it sounded.

"Hurry up!" Light shouted over the music as he rolled his window down halfway.

Ever the patient one, Mello mused. How would Light react to Mello slowing down his steps?

Reaching the car, he jerked the door and slid into the passenger seat, wincing at the music that assaulted his eardrums. Now, any person that looked as if they had about as much class as Light would probably be caught listening to the sounds of Beethoven, Mendelssohn, Mozart or even something slightly indie, but not Light Yagami. No, he detested it. He couldn't stand to listen to anything that consisted of actual talent, instead downplaying himself with ridiculous lyrics such as,

_Throw it up, mothafucka, throw it up._

_Is that yo chain? 'bout twenty fo' inches is how low I let it hang._

_Party like a rock, party like a rock star. _

And even,

_Move, move, shake, shake, now drop, what your momma say._

Firstly, Mello wondered; what was he throwing up? The idea of throwing anything up didn't sound to entertaining to the blond, unless he was able to soil the inside of Light's car and thus allow him to go home.

Secondly, no that wasn't a chain. Mello didn't own a chain, or to his knowledge he didn't.

On a third note, he was not a rock star and he didn't want to party like one.

But, what made the chocolate addict chuckle to himself was the fact that Light knew the majority of the words to it. In the end, it made him internally ask, "does Light think he's a rock star?"… because he totally wasn't.

And really, what was Mello supposed to be moving, shaking and dropping? The blond never really understood the logic behind the hip hop genre of music or it's sub genres. It just didn't make any sense to him, but it did offer the chocoholic something to ponder over as they rode over to the park for Light's family gathering.

-X-

"Light," a woman's voice rang out from a clearing underneath a canopy of trees, using one hand to wave him over.

The older teen nodded in acknowledgment as he wrapped an arm around Mello, tugging him closer. Mello cringed at the unexpected contact. Inwardly he made a face towards Light, sticking his tongue out and flipping him the bird. Now, if only he actually had the guts to do that to his face then things in his life would be a lot easier-- but he didn't have the guts, so things just had to be hard on him.

"Mother," Light stated as they reached his family, and Mello nearly died at the cheerful tone in the boy's voice. He had given up on Light ever sounding like he wasn't royal pissed off, as that was the way he always talked to Mello. Apparently Mello brought the bad side out of him; but wasn't he supposed to bring out the good?

Sachiko smiled warmly up at Light as she motioned towards the ground for both him and Mello to sit. Mello didn't want to take a seat - or, rather, patch of grass - around the neatly set up area, instead he wanted to leave and look for the boy that had a shattered heart.

"So, Mello," Soichiro began, his eyes locking on the blond as if he were prey, "how are your parents?"

Blinking twice at the unexpected question, Mello shrugged lightly before speaking, "they're fine."

And oh, were they. The rests of their lives were planned out for them as Mello sat around making small talk with the Yagami clan, and that disgusted him. How dare they try to ride on the back of his coattails for the rest of their lives.

"Just fine? Well, that's good to hear." The elder male stated, shaking his head at the apathetic response. "Light, how's school been? Anymore problems from that one kid?"

"School is to be expected, father. Nothing out of the ordinary," Light spoke sharply. "He's still a nuisance, yes, and he's still getting in my way, but I believe he'll begin to see things a bit differently in the next couple of days."

An obvious smirk was hidden in the back of his words, and Mello knew that they were speaking of Matt. The blond grimaced all too knowingly. He just knew that Light had something up his sleeve that would possibly have Matt running for his life and maybe even dropping out of school. The odds were against the boy, because Mello knew just how harsh Light could be when something stood in his way. He'd been brutal ever since grade school, and his temper had escalated since then. Light, mister popular and master manipulator. If Matt didn't cower from Light after he was finished with him then there would be other means taken to ensure that he never showed his face within the hallways of their school again.

"I see," was all that fell from Soichiro's lips.

A thick blanket of silence washed over the group while birds chirped happily in the background, well, at least the ones that hadn't begun to migrate towards warmer climates for the winter. Children laughed manically, giggling over this and that and shouting about the ball being kicked too far. Parents were talking amongst each other, discussing plans for sleepovers, autumn trips, holidays that were approaching too fast and work.

Mello, however, didn't pay any attention to these things - he couldn't - there was no distraction great enough to get his mind of the fact that he was sitting in a park with Light and his family.

Light had shifted his body towards the blond, his pinky finger brushing against Mello's hand as he laughed at something his mother said. It was a fake laugh. Light never laughed so light halfheartedly. The close proximity between their bodies made Mello uncomfortable, and he could see it in Sayu's eyes. She stared back at Mello, a burning annoyance evident in her gaze as her once best friend got cozy with her lunatic brother. In Sayu's mind he was betraying Matt; giving up on the gamer as if he were only dirt…

But… if only she knew the real reason behind this. If only Sayu knew that Mello's parents were to blame for this catastrophe-- that he would get sent off to military school for going against their word. The only reason he hung his head and went along with this relationship was because he knew he would get to see Matt on a daily basis, and just seeing the redhead was enough for him.

Every time his eyes landed on the angel that was Matt his heart skipped a beat, and he couldn't bear that idea of being sent away to live the rest of his schooling in a home with other boys that had problematic pasts and drill sergeants. It would suffice to walk into school or happen upon the other boy's neighbourhood knowing that he would get a glimpse of **his** Matt. Fiery hair would salute him on grey days, emerald eyes would brighten his mood with just glance and the chance to hear Matt's silky voice-- oh, Mello could quite possibly orgasm in his pants in front of Light just imagining the boy's voice.

Only, he couldn't do that because it would give him away and Light would, without a doubt, go to Mello's parents and warn them about their son's daydreams and failed attempts to be with the gaming addict. So, giving his parents a free ride was well worth not going to military school in order to see Matt.

… because in the end, that's all he really cares about.

"What do you plan on doing to him?" Sayu piped up.

"What does it matter?"

"He's my friend," she stated proudly, "and you're not going to do anything to him."

"Oh? I'm not? And who's going to stop me?" Light taunted, fully aware of how irritated Sayu was growing.

Why couldn't she have just left it behind, Mello wondered. She could have just forgotten all about Light's vendetta for Matt, but no, she didn't do that.

"Mello will," she nodded towards the blond and all eyes fell on him.

"W-what?" He squeaked.

"You'll stick up for Matt, right? I mean, you have to. You guys have been through so much," she said softly, hoping to get something positive out of this ordeal.

"Sayu, I…"

Would he stick up for Matt when Light decided to attack him by whichever means he had available? Would he be there for the gamer when his world came crashing down on him? Would Mello really allow Light to harm Matt? "I… can't, Sayu. I'm sorry."

"You can't?" She nearly shouted, exasperated with the shocking revelation that had just flown from Mello's lips. "What do you mean you can't?!"

"Leave him alone," the girl's brother demanded.

"No! Mello loves Matt," Sayu cried out, holding her head in her hands.

"…"

"Mello," Light looked down at the younger male against his side, "do you love Matt?"

Mello's eyes widened considerably as his vision dashed from one Yagami sibling to the other. He was afraid to say the wrong thing.

If he said yes, which he wanted to, word would get back to his parents about his love for Matt and he'd be denied even the pleasures of seeing him around school. Mello knew that wasn't a possibility.

If he said no then he would be denied Matt after everything with Light blew over at the end of the year. Sayu would make it her business to tell Matt the truth - or, in this case the lies - that Mello was never in love with the redhead and that he was only using him for a good fuck. The blond truly believed that once someone got on Sayu's bad side they wouldn't stand a chance in hell, and he was positive that she'd find some way to keep Matt away from Mello.

He couldn't tell them anything; couldn't deny it or speak against it.

No matter how much he wanted to tell him.

_Yes, Light. I love Matt._

* * *

Ahh! There you go! Oh, and adding onto my excuses for not updating. I spent 9 hours playing on Xbox live after work at 12am Thursday night/Friday morning. Then another four hours today. c: I hope to have the next chapter up Sunday evening when I come home from AUSA.

MOVING ON. I has propositions for you guys! The first person to name each song from the four sets lyrics that I posted will get a oneshot of their choice, as long as it remains within the boundaries of Death Note. By the way, I'm not a huge fan of rap/hip hop, but what little I do listen to, it should be fairly easy for you guys to name. SECOND PROPOSITION! The first person to reach 100 reviews will also get a oneshot of their choice. Sound tempting? Yeah, thought so.

The only catch to the second one is, I'm at 85 reviews so far, so in order to find out who hits 100 I need you guys to number your review starting with number 85. Can yuh do it? Yusss.

Review, please and thank you! ^.^


	12. 12

Sorry about the long wait! I'm not going to say that I was terribly busy or anything of the like, because to be honest, I had put this off until a week ago. I had grown oddly addicted to playing Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2 with my brother, which is where the majority of my time has gone to. xD

Merry (late) Christmas!

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

_"Now, we can follow you back home, but we won't.  
Is this what you had waited for?  
Just to be alone?"_

_- All We Know, Paramore._

_

* * *

  
_

_I love him._

Mello wasn't able to answer their question, and in his frantic mind he wasn't even sure if what he felt was love. His heart and his mind weren't on the same page, and he wasn't sure if they ever would be. In his heart, yes he loved Matt with every fiber of his being. Whereas, in his mind, the constant belittling of his sexuality and questioning of his true feelings regarding the redhead had gotten to him. His parents, Light's parents, Light and now Sayu had broken him. Mello had never felt so empty in his life…

The open park had begun to close in on him; the trees drawing nearer, the laughter from children playing fading, the chattering of protective parents mocking him in his subconscious. It was getting hard to breath, and he felt his lungs constrict within his chest.

A one-sided argument was all he could hear as Light verbally battled Sayu in attempt to make her see things his way, as no one that spent enough time around him could see things differently. Mello wished that he could hear the things coming from Sayu's mouth, but he couldn't and all be damned because he hadn't paid enough attention to learning how to read lips.

He had to escape. Or, at least _try_ to.

Anything was better than sitting around a plain old blanket with Light's family and a portion of the park that wanted to devour him. Only, how was he to go about evacuating the 'nice family gathering'? It came to his attention that the minute he stood up to walk off - or in this case, run - Light would be right behind him. Hell, Light would be right on top of him and dragging him back to his parents. Mello blanched at the thought of being forced to endure more of this, vaguely wondering if Light carried around a set of hand cuffs and chain link for instances like the one Mello was about to partake in.

"---lo, as I was saying Light, still loves Matt! Hell, I bet he thinks about him every time you try to pull one over on him!" Sayu shouted, leaning on her hands towards Light.

"I'm sure, Sayu. I'm sure he loves that dimwitted little retard," Light hissed, aiming his petty insult towards the girl as she pushed forwards with intent to cause more damage to the relationship between her brother and ex-best friend.

"He's not a fucking retard, Light! If anyone is, it's you!" She screamed, lifting a hand and bringing it across Light's face before she could catch herself.

A faint gasp came from their mother, who had scooted closers towards their father and was watching the fight between the bitter siblings. Sayu had hit Light, and everyone knew that he was one for retaliation. He wouldn't let the girl live after hurting his goods-- in this case, his face.

Mello stared at Sayu, silently thanking her with his eyes for sticking up for Matt, even though she didn't want to hear - see - it. Light blinked repeatedly, the hand print plastered on the side of his face fading as he narrowed his eyes.

"How dare you stick up for that… that thing!" Light spat, unable to form a coherent insult as he continued to make sense of the situation.

Mello's eyes were wide, watching Light carefully and contemplating his escape. If he was to make a run for it, it would have to be now-- no if's, and's, or buts about it. He pushed back onto his knees, readying himself as Sayu turned to face him with a knowing expression and soft nod.

"That 'thing' is my friend, asshole! You don't see me calling your friends 'thi--' oh, wait!" A faint giggle erupted from her mouth, "you don't have any friends!"

The blond found himself inwardly laughing at Sayu; he hadn't befriended her for nothing. But, she wasn't finished. On the contrary, she still had more middle school insults to throw at Light in order to keep him occupied for Mello to leave; and as she opened her mouth to shout at him some more, she motioned with her hands that he should run… and fast.

"Hey, Li---" And that was all she wrote.

Mello hadn't hung around long enough to catch the rest of her mental ramblings, and he was damn proud that he'd found the courage to get up and haul tail it out of there. His legs were on fire, as running really wasn't something he was used to, but it didn't stop him from continuing until he thought he was at a safe enough distance from Light and his uppity family-- excluding Sayu, of course.

-X-

It was quiet, and the silence was refreshing. Mello had grown tired of the verbal battle between his ex-best friend and her brother, but more so, he'd grown tired of the internal battle he had been dealing with when it came to his emotions towards Matt. He had struggled with coming to terms with his love for the redhead, and after have pushed him away in favour of being Light's arm candy, Mello had almost convinced himself that there was nothing left.

All it had taken was one little question to jump start his mind. One simple question that he never thought he'd deal with, as Light hated talking about Matt. It had sent his mind into a whirlwind; it had possibilities and 'what if' scenarios jumbling together like salt water mixing with fresh.

Mello mentally thanked Sayu for asking if he still loved Matt, wishing that he hadn't run away so that he could tell her in person. The only problem with that, he knew, was that she wasn't ready to speak to him… and quite frankly, he didn't blame her.

Stumbling over a root sticking up from the ground, the blond found himself happening upon an old swing set. The once white pain was chipped and rusted, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. It looked as if it'd been abandoned, forgotten along with the rest of the park that was out of view from the road. There was no sand underneath the swings for people to stop their swinging, and there was no other play equipment. Mello vaguely wondered why someone would randomly place a swing set in such a secluded area.

Mello took residence on one of the four swings, pushing his body back and forth as his eyes watched the ground move beneath him. Tears welled up at the corners of his eyes, and he knew that trying to stop them would do nothing; he would still cry. Closing his eyes, the blond focused all his weight on one side of his swing. Mello pressed his right cheek against the rusting chain, wincing as it protested his slow movement. Using his feet to propel himself into the air, he gripped the chain tightly in both hands and pushed forwards until he felt that the old swing set would pull right out of the ground.

A light pressure was added to the abandoned playground equipment, which caused the blond to cease his swinging and stare blindly ahead as he came a stop, his feet limply dragging the ground. Mello panicked, cursing himself for being so stupid that he couldn't have found some other place to hide from Light. He should have known that using an old swing set would be a bad idea, as it was incredibly hard to miss a person swinging-- especially a teenage male.

"Lig--" Mello began, his voice trembling.

"Who?" An unfamiliar voice questioned, and Mello's curiosity piqued.

"… You are?" Mello asked after he turned to face the intruder of his silent contemplation.

"That's extremely rude," the young man beside him stated, tilting his head to the side as Mello narrowed his eyes on him.

"Who are you to call me rude?"

"A person that watched the confrontation between you and your friends," he announced, running his thumb along his bottom lip thoughtfully.

"That isn't creepy at all…" Mello deadpanned, debating on asking his previous question again, only this time not so rudely.

"My name is L," the other teen introduced himself.

"L? Just… as in the letter?" Mello raised a brow, skeptic over this new-found information. Who the hell was named after a letter?

"Yes, as in the letter." L mocked him, his eyes capturing Mello's for a quick moment as they stared intently at each other. "And, you would be?"

"You listened in earlier, so I shouldn't have to tell you my name." The blond said harshly, spinning around in his swing to get a better view of this L character.

He was weird, and this was decided the minute Mello actually took in his appearance. It was the way he sat, one leg was drawn up to his chest and the other dangling freely off the cracking swing seat. His shoes, ratty and dirty, were discarded and left laying against one of the chipping poles sticking into the ground. The clothes, which is what got Mello, were plain. Seriously, who in this day and age wears just a plain white t-shirt with blue jeans? The simplicity of his outfit threw the blond off, and it seemed that L had caught onto him.

"Am I that unappealing?" L asked, leaning his head against the knee positioned against his chest. The male's unruly hair flattened on one side, and his eyes watched Mello like a hawk.

"Wha-- No!" Mello nearly shouted, blinking repeatedly.

"Are you sure?" L taunted, a small smirk forming out of his thin lips.

"Yes, I'm sure! Wait…" The blond snapped his mouth shut, remembering something that Matt had told him before school started.

Matt had spoke of a friend back home. A friend that was supposed to be moving to their city before winter break or something like that. After having been given a brief explanation on who this friend was, Matt had shown Mello a very bad picture of this person. And he… L was sitting directly beside Mello, eyes blank as he stared at the blond. He was Matt's only actual friend, aside from those that he gamed with.

"You know Matt," Mello accusingly said.

"Very good," L drawled.

"So are you here permanently or just to visit… because Matt said you were moving here thanks to your parents an--"

L coughed softly, effectively cutting Mello's sad redemption of his life off, "Yes, I'm here to live, as well as attend school with you. And yes, before you ask, I know what has taken place between Matt and yourself."

"Oh, so he's--- yeah," Mello was a loss for words, torn between asking L how much Matt had told him and if he could offer him some advice on the matter. However, the idea of asking a complete stranger for advice was a bit off putting for Mello.

"I would like you to know that I think this entire ordeal is quite stupid," L began, "and in order for you to finally rid yourself of this Light person you should consider sticking up for Matt and what was between the two of you. Mello, I've not been in your shoes before and nor do I plan to ever be, but until you can get over this there is no future for you in Matt's life. Did you know he is trying to talk his dead into moving back?"

Mello shook his head slowly. He had zoned out for the majority of L's mini speech and had only resurfaced long enough to catch the last question. Matt - _his Matt_ - was that determined to get away from him? The blond didn't think that things were that bad, at least not yet…

It was as if the constant ignoring wasn't happening; as if Matt's attempts to take different hallways to and from classes wasn't happening; as if Matt hadn't given him that note telling him that for now he would back off. Matt couldn't leave! Not now!

"H-has he said anything about leaving…?" Mello stumbled over the words in his mind.

"Not yet, I'm sure that his father is going to say no," L softly spoke, and Mello knew that there was something he wasn't being told.

"What else, L? His father is going to say no, but…?" The blond egged him on.

"… but, I think that he's planning on dropping out of school in order to go back himself," the other male finished, looking up at Mello in time to catch the whirlwind of emotions in Mello's eyes.

"What? Why?!"

"There are a lot of things you have to learn about him."

"He'd leave just because we didn't work…?" Mello asked, much softer than when he spoke before.

"His life is being threatened, Mello. Light said so himself that Matt's going to eventually regret coming here," L reminded him. "Matt's not stupid, he knows that Light will harm him if it meant keeping the two of you apart."

"I… do you know where Matt is?"

"Yes," L murmured, biting his nail.

"Where?" Mello prompted.

-X-

The rippling of the creek beside him was soothing. It was something he definitely needed to get his mind off of current situations, and mentally Matt thanked mother nature for allowing him some peace and time to think.

He had originally decided on going into the park to explore a little, or to maybe get some use out of the old swings he had to walk by in order to find the small creek bed surrounded by rocks large enough for him to sprawl out on. Only, he pushed that idea aside and was glad that he did. This was far better than being out in the open with the possibility of being seen by someone he really had no desire to see.

Matt lazily drew pictures with the dirt that had been collecting on top of his rock (yes, he claimed it). Small pictures of himself and Mello littered the area beside him, and although these little people were stick figures, he knew who they were and what they stood for. Or… in reality, what they didn't stand for.

They were of them hugging, laughing with little blurbs of 'ha!' coming from the side of their mouths, but the one that really meant more to him was the one where he' drawn them both holding a heart. Matt had broken the heart, of course, and in his tiny drawing he was holding one side and Mello was holding the other. It was simple to understand if one knew what to look for.

"Fuck, I'm lost…" A voice boomed, startling the redhead. Talking in the middle of a patch of woods was like screaming into a newly renovated room; drying paint in a claustrophobic holds a mean echo. "I shouldn't have listened to him. God, why did I listen to him?! I'm fucking lost and Matt isn't anywhere to be found!"

The frustration in Mello's voice was obvious, but the shock that shot through Matt's entire body wasn't. His name had been called, and it wasn't necessarily the fact that the person under the rock- boulder - was searching for him, it was the voice. And it took Matt everything in him to not jump down into Mello's arms.

"I swear, L is going to pay for this. I bet this was some kind of game… like," Mello took a moment to pause, "like… he actually knows Light and is helping him. That's his goal, he wants to get me lost so that Light can come to the rescue. I knew this wasn't a good idea… why was I so eager to find him? Fuck, I need Matt."

If the redhead didn't already know Mello, he would have deemed him crazy for talking to himself like a normal human being would to another person. Matt chuckled softly, holding a hand over his mouth to keep Mello from hearing him. The idea of Mello conversing with himself made him laugh, and only because it could possibly happen. Matt was currently more concerned with whether or not the blond was going to answer himself than knowing that all Mello had to do was look up and he would find what he was looking for.

"I bet, though, that Matt doesn't want to see me. I mean, I wouldn't want to see to me. I did him wrong, so I understand… It's just," Mello stopped talking long enough to take in the area surrounding him. He had come to the right location, and had ceased his search for Matt under the biggest boulder he could find. So… where was Matt?

"It doesn't matter anyways. Nothing would happen if I found him, so really there's no point in me being out here. God damn it," he spat the lord's name in vain.

"Matt, if you're here… I want you to know that I love you, even if I don't show it because of well... I still do, y'know… and I'm sorry." Mello's voice was barely above a whisper. The tears could be heard through his words, and Matt knew that he truly meant the things he was saying…

However, Matt wasn't sure that throwing himself at his ex-boyfriend would be good for either of them. Oh, he wanted to. The idea was tempting and he had to fight his body when it tried to get up and catch Mello's attention, but he couldn't do it. Matt was afraid. Afraid of what would happen between them and afraid the outcome.

"… Whatever, this was stupid." Mello was annoyed, but more so, through the false anger he had gathered to show L, he was hurt.

Heartbroken.

L had convinced him that Matt wanted to see him, and after having gotten his hopes up, Mello was ecstatic about the prospect of being with his crimson haired angel for a while. Granted they would have only a few hours together before his parents got wind of the situation via Light, but that was enough time for him to get to learn Matt all over again. And he would take whatever time he could have alone with Matt.

The crunching of the leaves resonated throughout the forest, and Matt knew that he was being left alone again. This time is was his fault though. He could have had Mello, but he had to be stubborn and refuse to show himself. God, he felt stupid.

"Mello," the redhead sobbed loudly, "I love you too."

It was too late, he knew, but he hoped that wherever Mello was he could still hear him. Curling in on himself, Matt wrapped his arms around his legs and cried into his pants. This was harder than he expected.

-X-

"--- love you too," assaulted Mello's ear drums and without hesitation, he smiled despite knowing that Matt's voice was filled with anguish.

* * *

I apologize for the craptastic ending! Shit, for this entire chapter. I really didn't like it, but I had to bring L in some way or another. OH, ANDDDDDDDDDDD. The next chapter is strictly Light and L. :C I'm worried.

Okay, so... when I first started this story I said I would drop hints towards what the title has come from, and I'm doing that now. 'With Accidents' is a part of a song, and my first hint is... in the video, there's a giant fucking rabbit. Go, find out! I'll decide the prize after someone gives me the song and band name.

On another note, the person that correctly named all the songs was Jinnabun, but I never received any ideas for the oneshot. ): And also, 100 reviews wasn't hit with the last chapter, so six more to go and the 100th reviewer gets a oneshot of his/her choice as long as it is within a fandom I know. :D Go, hurry!

-trots off to kill more zombies-

Read and review, please! Thank you.


	13. 13

Firstly, I want to apologize in advance for the crappy way I introduced L, but like I said this was mainly a chapter between Light and L.

Secondly, I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get this chapter out. My laptop decided that it didn't like me anymore and stopped working Dec 30th. We had a falling out, and while I was out I managed to hand write everything I had written for all my stories and work enough to get another laptop, considering it would have cost just as much to fix my old laptop. I finally got a new on last Saturday and I couldn't be more pleased with it. I have been trying to update everything, but with district company coming into to inspect my store and working 16 plus hours between Monday evening and Tuesday morning, I have been utterly exhausted.

In any case, here's chapter thirteen. I hope you enjoy, even though it isn't up to par.

* * *

_"The concept of fashion is one the to blame,  
painting a portrait of conviction-- less existence.  
Well, it must be difficult being so gorgeous."_

_- Hey John, What's Your Name Again?, The Devil Wears Prada._

* * *

The sun was beginning to set over the park, and the walk towards the entrance where L would find Light seemed longer when backtracking. Shadows from overpowering trees blanketed the young man as he slowly emerged to rejoin the world that was now packing up and leaving for the evening. L stood with his hands located in the pockets of his worn jeans, his eyes flickering to and from with every sudden movement around him. It was times like these that L found life most enjoyable.

Times where things tended to stop and give him enough to think and analyze a situation. It was times like these that made L feel like he wasn't as crazy as people perceived him to be, but just a normal teenager looking for something out of life. Of course that wasn't necessarily true, nor was completely false-- L was teenager, just minus the normal part. Still, when the world began to slow down and he had time to fully think about things, he almost considered himself normal. L, in reality, thinks that it is his quiet demeanor and personality to get under one's skin that has people looking at him awkwardly; but, then again, he wouldn't be L without these traits, would he?

A cool autumn breeze circled L as he stood motionless and watching the picturesque family before him. It was constructed of two parents and two children-- Sayu and Light. Sayu had the upper hand in their current packing up for evening, while Light glowered at his younger sibling for kicking an old plastic cup at him.

Amused, L smiled crookedly at Light's frustration when the bottom of his pants became wet with the excess liquid left in the cup. If he got so easily annoyed by that then L knew he was in for a treat, and boy was he looking forward to it. The only problem was getting him away from his family long enough to talk-- long enough to begin to get his fingers underneath Light's skin.

"Seriously?!" Light shouted, dropping the bag that he was holding as Sayu bumped into him from behind. She chuckled, presumably at Light's reaction towards her annoying antics, as she continued on her way towards her parent's car with her own picnic luggage.

This was all too interesting for L to watch, as it was like a soap opera that had sprung up out of nowhere for his own amusement. Well, the entire situation going on in this town was like a soap opera and he was the one trying to find the best outcome for everyone. It was a game, and L liked games. No, scratch that, L loved games.

It began with Matt's heartbreaking ordeal with Mello, and that had been L's first straw on convincing his guardian to up and move to a new place for the hell of it. L knew first hand how it was with Matt; he knew that once Matt had put his heart and soul in something it was virtually impossible for him to forget it.

How did he know? Well, because he had to the rejection process with Matt when they first became friends back in junior high -- middle school. It wasn't his fault that he had attracted the young gamer to him, as he hadn't tried to come off as appealing to anyone. It just happened, and damn did he regret having to break Matt's heart with his "I don't care how you feel about me, I'm not interested" speech. Regardless, they became best friends and that little crush had been put behind them.

Now though, L felt as if he owed it to Matt to help get back the one thing that ever really mattered to the gamer. Mello was Matt's heart, and it actually hurt L to have Matt call him at two in the morning crying over some high school drama and threats made behind his back because of a relationship he had started with a boy that obviously untouchable in his new hometown. It made L angry to know that someone was putting Matt through this because he had finally someone that he loved with his entire being; but what aggravated him even more was that it sounded like this Mello character couldn't care less.

For a while L had tried to talk Matt out of wanting to ever being with Mello again, and had tried to talk him into finding someone else to love. Matt, ever the stubborn one, told him that it wasn't that easy and he would never find someone as amazing as Mello ever again. He was truly bent on being with Mello regardless of what happened or who was threatening his life, and that had been before the infamous duo had begun to ignore each other in the hallways at school or before Matt had even considered writing that note to Mello. It all came down to insecurities L soon realized, and he decided that he needed to be there for Matt and to see to it that Matt found his well deserved happiness again. Which was, as noted, when L relocated so that he could live in the same place and attend the same school as Matt.

"Light! Come on, we're leaving!" Sayu called out to her brother from her parents car, but Light ignored the girl's constant shouting and nodded towards his own car. How had she forgotten that he'd driven himself? God, not only did she dare insult him basically the entire he was trying to spend time with Mello, she was also blind.

"Fine! See you at home," and with that his parents left him alone at the entrance to the park.

Perhaps getting Light to talk would be easier than L thought, and he knew just the way to go about getting any information out of the heir of the Yagami fortune. "Light Yagami?"

"The he-- Who are you?" Light spun around to face L, glaring at the unknown person that had called his name.

"A fan," L's voice was small and oozing sarcasm.

"A fan? Uh… huh," Light was skeptical.

"Yes," L was clearly enjoying himself.

"What do you want?" Light questioned, rolling his eyes at the dimwitted expression L was wearing.

"I want to talk," L stated as he began to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet, his eyes watching the sudden confused look Light momentarily sported. "I've recently learned that you've been making my friend's life hell, and I want to know why."

"Your friend? Riiiight," Light cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes. You see, Matt is a dear friend of mine and I'd like to know why you're threatening him over something so stupid." L tilted his head to the side, wide eyes watching with little interest as Light laughed in his face. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, like some people say, and act like nothing is going on when something is… so tell me, Light. What's going on?"

"Why should I tell you?" Light shook his head.

"I believe I've already told you why," L deadpanned. "Or are you not smart enough to have realized that?"

"Excuse me?" Light blinked.

"I believe I just insulted your intelligence, Light Yagami. Now, are you going to tell me or not?" L questioned, chewing on his bottom lip.

The world was becoming darker, and L knew that he wouldn't be able to keep Light much longer. Light's family appeared to be the kind of people to freak out of their baby boy was out for more than a few hours, and as much as this amused him, he didn't want to have the blame put on him for keeping Light longer than necessary. There would always the next day to question Light, but L wasn't sure he would be up for it since it would be his first day of school in this new place. It would have to wait until he could corner Light alone again, and that definitely wasn't something he wanted to do. L wanted answers now, as he had been raised to want and he always got his way.

"Not," Light grinned evilly as he turned away from L and headed for his car.

* * *

It could be better. ]: I hope you guys don't hate me, but I didn't say they would get very far when they had their own chapter! There will be plenty of that later in the story. [:

Oh and, eryis-blud was the 100th reviewer. Congratulations!

Also, I have a formspring account, so go and ask me questions about anything! I'll post the link in my profile.

Read and review, please. Thank you.


	14. 14

... I'm sorry it's terribly short, but it was all I had written so far, and I felt the need to post it so that I wouldn't leave you guys high and dry. On the upside though, it is both Mello's part and Matt's part, so I hope that makes up for it.

In other news, Lilana Carter guessed the song in which the story name was derived from, so congrats to her! I have a oneshot to get working on, and with her wishes, the possibilities are endless. [: I'm looking forward to actually executing some of my ideas.

Anyways, enjoy.

* * *

_"He's a stranger to some, and a vision to none.  
He can never get enough, get enough of the one."_

_- From Yesterday, 30 Seconds to Mars._

_

* * *

  
_

Monday rolled around without warning, and Mello found that all he wanted to do was lay in bed and forget the outside world existed. It wasn't likely that it would happen, but he could hope. Ditching school sounded like a good idea as he dug his palms into his eyes, ridding them of the last traces of sleep.

The ride to school was normal, uneventful and dull. There never was any kind of conversation between Mello and his mother, as they weren't the morning kind of folks. And, if they were to talk, he was almost certain that she would have something to say about the picnic the day before or about the call from Light that sounded fake and put on. Apparently, according to his mother, Light had called a minute after Mello returned home from the gathering he'd been forced into going through with and he wanted to make sure Mello had made it home okay. It was a phony gesture to appease Mello's mother, which resulted on her confronting her son before he'd gone to bed.

She wasn't so much concerned that Mello had walked home, but seemed more worried about the relationship between the Yagami heir and Mello. It would do her no good to have them fall out. So much for being a woman of God, Mello scoffed as he watched her eyes light up the moment she saw Light standing out front of the school.

"There's Light, honey!" She exclaimed joyously, stopping the car to drop him off. "Make up with him, Mello, and have a good day."

Making up with Light actually meant the following: get as close as you can so your father and I are secured for the rest of our lives. As stated before, Mello was certain that his parents didn't care for his sexuality, after countless threats to be sent off were thrown his way, but he knew they were perfectly fine with it if it was with a boy that could be his prince.

Fuck, Mello didn't need a prince.

What he needed was a red haired gamer walking into the building with his head down and his hands in his pockets.

"Mello," Light started as Mello slammed the car door shut. "What the hell happened yesterday?"

"A family picnic," Mello deadpanned.

"You ran off. Why?" Light hissed, wrapping his fingers around Mello's arm and tugging him close.

"You looked like you were having such a good time with Sayu. It's nice to have sibling fights, Light." Mello rolled his eyes, straying away from having went off to look Matt. Light really didn't need to know that he'd run into Matt's strange friend or that he'd been given the whereabouts of Matt, or, better yet, that he had actually gone to search for his ex-boyfriend.

"I hope you don't take me for a fool, Mello, because I'm not one." Light's grip on his arm tightened as they walked towards the school.

-X-

Meanwhile, in the English wing, Matt stood watching as Light drug the blond into the building. Matt watched as Mello seemingly shouted at Light over something he said, tearing away from the auburn haired male and stalking off in the opposite direction. Things weren't going smoothly, and Matt was sure that it was because Mello wasn't willingly to obey.

"Matt?" A voice came from behind. It was familiar and it made him smile.

"Yeah?" He turned around to face the other.

"If you want him back that badly you have to go for it," L stated, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Mello is not going to come to you, he's made that obvious."

"I don't know what to do," Matt admitted knowing that Mello wasn't going to make the first move.

"Do something to grab his attention. What happened to the Matt that I met a long time ago?" L wrapped his arms gingerly around Matt's waist, pulling their bodies closer together and stroking Matt's back. Matt found comfort in this simple gesture, and he realized that he rather missed being like this with L.

"I don't know…" Matt's voice was small against the bustle of the hallways. "I just..."

* * *

Is this a cliffhanger I spot? Maybe. I don't know.

I have some semi-bad news you guys. ]: I'm thinking about taking a hiatus. I've recently, as in just an hour ago, realized that I'm really not motivated enough to keep up with anything involving any type of writing. Yeah, I enjoy reading what all of you lovely people read, but I don't want to write anymore... It's depressing me, and I wish it wasn't the way it is. I'm still going to be working on stories, but I'm going to be doing so in the many notebooks I have laying around and eventually I'll upload it all at once. Eventually meaning the beginning of March, as that's the longest I'm giving myself for a break.

So, I'm sorry. ]: And, yes, Lilana Carter, you will still receive your oneshot, no worries.

Read and review, please. Thank you.


	15. 15

FIRST OFF, new name change is new! I got tired of my old name, so this is my new one, remember it! Liarsenic. [: Background behind this name? My favourite song by Norma Jean. Yessum.

Secondly, I am back, and hopefully for good. I've had a good few weeks since my last update, and while this one isn't much better, it does end on a happy note! Yay.

Third, I got two micro-dermal piercings a week ago and I love them. They're perfect. I couldn't wish for a better piercing, well, aside from my septum. I'd fucking die if anything were to happen to that one.

Okay, I hope this chapter makes up for the last one, even though it's still short! I'm slowly moving forwards with this story and thing will progress a bit faster after this chapter. I just had to add in a little interaction between our boys to get them to work for me again. And, Lilana Carter, your oneshot is coming along well. [: Story titled derived from the song 'My Favorite Accident' by Motion City Soundtrack.

Enjoy!

* * *

_"It's not easy making a name for yourself.  
Where do you draw the line?  
I never thought I'd be this far.  
Let's have some fun and never change, not for anyone;  
try not to miss me when I'm gone."_

_- The Downfall Of Us All, A Day To Remember._

_

* * *

  
_

Matt struggled to keep his composure as he held onto L. He knew that the other boy was right, and he, himself, wondered what had happened to the person he used to be. The Matt that L knew wasn't a coward and wouldn't stand for someone threatening his life, no matter what any of the circumstances were. Yes, Matt hadn't been able to succeed in a lot of things when L had been involved, but that didn't mean he gave up. He wasn't a quitter, but he sure was acting like one.

"Matt, you need to understand," L began, continuing to gingerly rub Matt's back. "In order for you to find happiness you have to get over these hurtles, namely Light."

"I know, but…" Matt dipped his head against L's shoulder and inhaled the familiar sickly sweet scent.

"There are no buts. You either make up your mind to have Mello for yourself or you just ignore the situation altogether and live wondering how things would have been if you hadn't given up so easily."

That was easy for L to say.

L, the person that wouldn't allow anyone to get close to him, had no room to talk when it came to a situation such as this. If it hadn't been for Matt, L would have continued to go through life without anyone, and sometimes Matt would pride himself with this fact. Now, if only he could have enough pride and confidence to steal back what was rightfully his. It was about time that Light went down.

Too bad he didn't have that pride or self confidence...

"I can't do it, L. I just can't," Matt whispered against the fabric of his t-shirt, holding onto L for dear life.

-X-

That was how Mello saw them; their arms wrapped around each other and Matt appearing comfortable in L's embrace. He wasn't sure if this was something he was supposed to see, but he had and it broke his heart. Did L really come to help them get back together? To Mello, it looked like he had come to take Matt back, and that was heart wrenching.

Mello stood at the end of the hall as if glued to the floor, his heart beating erratically in his chest. That was supposed to be him with Matt-- he was supposed to have the gamer against him as he asked Matt to forgive him for screwing up and not listening to his heart. This wasn't fair; it wasn't supposed to be L holding Matt.

Shaking, Mello tried to walk away. He tried so hard to exit the area, but his legs wouldn't move. He was frozen. Mello was stuck witnessing what he never wanted to happen, and now that it had happened he felt stupid for purposely shoving Light away. Matt wasn't supposed to move on...

Turning his head away from the scene, after having had enough of it, he realized that the hallway had cleared. When had the bell rung?

"Fuck," Mello muttered to himself.

Go to class or not to go to class, that was the question. Well, the question doing jumping jacks in Mello's head. It seemed so much easier to just ignore it and walk away, but Mello didn't want that. No, he wanted to confront them with accusations; he wouldn't, but he wanted to. It was always easier do, starting shit for the sake of starting it.

Mello looked up, battling internally with himself on whether or not he should open his mouth to spout off something about Matt and L's compromising position, and his eyes locked with-Matt's own wide eyes. They stared at one another in shock.

"Mello," his mouth moved, void of sound as L released his hold on the younger male.

"Go to him," L instructed, stepping to the side and away from Matt.

Nodding at his whispered instruction, Matt's arms fell limp at his side while he stepped closer to Mello at the opposite end of the hallway. Each step that brought them closer seemed like another step to far, and at one point, Matt thought that he would never stop walking. It was an annoying process, but if he wanted to feel Mello's arms around him again, he would walk to the end of the Earth. It didn't feel right being without Mello, and knowing that he stood, transfixed on the younger male, Matt had hope.

Time ceased, slowing down as Mello got closer, and all Matt wanted to do was reach out. He just wanted some solid evidence that Mello was waiting for him and that this wasn't a dream. It wasn't…

"Mello…?" He asked softly, stopping a foot from said boy in question.

"Matt," he was regarded with a tone unknown.

"Mello," Matt sighed, taking that final step towards his ex-boyfriend and wrapping his arms loosely around his waist, his face buried against Mello's shoulder. "I missed you…"

Mello blinked and looked down, his mind finally registering Matt's arms around him. The voice that spoke to him hit a soft spot in his heart, and even though he was still frustrated with the way Matt had been clutching onto L, he couldn't find it in himself to remain upset. Matt was there and he was hugging him. All insecurities flew out the window with that small action, and Mello felt a smile work its way onto his face.

"I miss you," Mello spoke, avoiding how he'd felt before this meeting and focusing on the now. "I miss you so much, Matt."

Mello slid his hands up and down Matt's sides before laying them on his hips, pulling their bodies closer in the middle of the vacant school hallway. Mello moved backwards, vaguely aware of the wall behind him as they inched towards the privacy of the Science bathroom. Okay, so it really wasn't that private, but it was better than standing in the middle of the hall.

-X-

"Matt?" Mello's voice was quiet.

"Yeah," he responded.

"I love you," Mello lifted a hand, using his thumb and index to gently grip Matt's chin and pull his face towards his own, reiterating his spoken vows with a silent kiss.

Matt applied pressure to the kiss, slipping a hand around to Mello's rear as he pushed him into the thin barrier of their stall. A small moan escaped his throat as he pulled back, breathing off and smiling. Mello mimicked his expression and pressed their foreheads together, blue capturing green.

A sadness Mello had never experienced lingered in Matt's gaze and he knew that it was his fault. If it weren't for him not following his heart things wouldn't be the way they were; there would be no secret meetings in the bathroom or stares from across the lunch room. They would be together and all would be right again. Mello longed to hold Matt, caress him and care for him as his own, but that wouldn't happen as long as Light was in the picture. Or as long as his parents continued to threaten him with sending him away. Things would never be the way he wanted… and it hurt. It hurt almost as much as the ringing of the bell that signified first block had been let out.

"Mel," Matt stuck his tongue out and licked along Mello's lips teasingly. "I don't want this to end."

"It doesn't have to," Mello stated, planting a chaste kiss on Matt's lips.

* * *

Also, on a decent note, I'm beginning to take steps towards learning jumpstyle routines, if anyone on here knows anything about that. [:

On a not so decent note, my grandmother is in the hospital and she isn't doing well. Eight years ago she had a lung transplant, and now her body is rejected the transplanted lung. It's infected and gross and in her partial lung (half hers and half transplanted lung) there is cancer. I'm afraid she won't make it and that scares me...I don't handle death well at all...

Oh, and, formspring(dot)me/viiiandxiii

Go ask me stuff, you guys; just replace (dot) with a period.

Read and review, please. Thank you.


	16. 16

Crappy chapter is crappy, I warn you. I also warn you of the shit-tastic scenes to come, with an apology of how bad it is. I wasn't in the best of moods when I wrote this, but it helped me get my mind off things and I appreciate this chapter for that reason.

Also, I want to say thank you to the encouraging words from some of you in regards to my Grandmother, but I hate to inform you, that she isn't doing well at all and within the next week I'm going to be picking up the things she has set aside for my brother and myself. So, if I stop posting for a significant amount of time after this chapter, I'm sorry. I just wasn't able to keep my head high and remain strong enough. A person can only deal with so much, and at this point, I'm an emotional wreck thanks to work, family problems and the new development about my Grandmother.

Anyways, on with the chapter. Enjoy, or something.

* * *

_"Tale as old as time,  
song as old rhyme._  
_Bittersweet and strange,  
finding you can change--  
learning you were wrong."_

_- Tale As Old As Time, Beauty and the Beast (c) Disney.  
_

_It doesn't have to._

The bittersweet words echoed in the small confines of the bathroom, bouncing off the grey tiled walls and mocking him. Of course it would end, everything ended, all good things came to an end. Matt knew this much. It was just a matter of time and if it didn't end now, then it would at some point.

Voices filled the hallway outside the bathroom, and for a moment, they stood in silence and just listened. There was laughter, shouting and the occasional girl talking a little too loudly of her interests in hopes of getting the new guy to notice her. It was such a waste, her attempts, but she didn't know that. To her, L, the rightfully dubbed 'new guy', was just playing hard to get as he shot off insults that flew directly over her head.

Yes, these insults were also heard by the couple pressed against each other in the bathroom stall. And it took everything they had not to burst out in fits of laughter as she giggled ignorantly in response; talk about a wind shield in front of her face.

Matt pressed harder against Mello, closing any spaces between their bodies as he laid his head on the other's boy shoulder and just listened to the commotion going on outside their not so safe haven. Mello shifted, placing his hands on Matt's hips and sighing softly. This was what he'd been waiting for since things started to go haywire, and he would be damned if he would miss this chance. They would be Matt and Mello, perfect couple in each other's eyes and nothing he would not let anything stand in his way.

Lifting a hand from its comfortable spot on Matt's hip, Mello lightly ran his fingers through Matt's hair, relishing in the softness of the crimson locks. Matt moved, turning around until he was able to nuzzle the crook of Mello's neck, a contented sigh crossing his lips and ghosting over the other male's exposed flesh. One of Matt's hands toyed with the loose belt around Mello's waist, fingering the silver studs that decorated it.

Matt knew all too well what was going to happen the minute the hallway cleared, and despite his mental refusal at hooking up with Mello in the school bathroom, Matt wanted it just as much as his ex did, if not more.

Another bell rang out, startling Matt into slightly jumping as it protested the students that were trying to skip class with a promise of being found by a hall monitor. The school alarm was a terrible thing to mess with. At the same time, however, it was a blessing in disguise as the last of the staggering students rushed off to their classes after loitering around the halls for far too long. It was a shame that neither Matt or Mello would be attending class… well, a shame for the teachers and possibly the other students that enjoyed their company.

"Matt," Mello's hand ceased its movements through his hair.

"Yeah," Matt mumbled against his skin.

"Are we-- uh, do you want-- I, uh," Mello's words were haphazardly thrown around as he tried to speak, afraid of ruining things before they even got started.

Did Matt even want this? That was also a factor, and one he desperately wanted to know.

In response to this, Matt simply pressed his lips to the junction between Mello's throat and collarbone. He suckled the flesh softly, allowing his teeth to graze the area with a quickness as he moved from spot to spot, not wanting to leave any marks. Matt's hand, the one not playing with Mello's belt, came up to rest upon Mello's side as he pressed his pelvis into Mello's body. If that wasn't an indication to what he wanted, Matt didn't know what was. He was almost certain that he could be felt through his pants, that were, up until that moment slack and comfortable.

Mello breathed in quickly, releasing the gasp that had begun bubbling up in his throat the same moment he felt Matt's lips against him. The first spot tingled; it felt like fire. Mello missed his kisses, no matter where they were planted on his body.

"Uhn," Mello choked out, his fingers curling into Matt's hair and tugging lightly as the boy continued to work around his throat.

"Mel," Matt pulled away to look at Mello with his eyes half lidded and mouth slightly open in a silent gasp.

"I want it,"

"Me too,"

"I want you," Matt reassured, pressing his lips flush against Mello's and looking to obtain entrance into his mouth.

Obliging his request, Mello tilted his head to the side for better access as their tongues collided with one another in awkward timing. It felt like their first time-- clumsy and a bit sloppy, but totally worth it.

It had been their first kiss, inspired by Mello's boredom and an intriguing redhead at a convention that brought them to this point in their lives and he couldn't have been happier with himself if his life depended it. Everything that had happened up until now was nonexistent and nothing else mattered more to him than the boy pressing against his groin with the same wants and needs.

All they knew were two things:

One, they were both extremely hard and wanted release. Not just any old release either, they wanted it to be together, done by the other. Two, they were in love and in love was how they wanted to remain.

Mello slid his free hand under Matt's shirt as he traced the lithe frame that he had come to miss. He splayed his hand out along Matt's chest, his fingers toying with the pert nipple available. This brought forth a strangled moan from Matt and Mello ate it up by crashing his lips into Matt's once more; as a means to keep quiet or just because the sound was too delicious to lose, Mello wasn't exactly sure.

"Mel-- I, uhn," Matt shuttered, pleased by the hand that was currently hidden under his top. Such a small action gaining such a big reaction, go figure.

Pulling away, Mello slowly slipped his own shirt off his torso before grabbing at the base of Matt's shirt and tugging upwards, hoping that Matt would get the idea and remove said article of clothing. It was in the way, and it wasn't long before Matt had also stripped down to nothing but his pants and whatever else he wore underneath. Smirking, Mello pushed against Matt's bare chest as he captured his lips in another steaming kiss that could have - and should have - forced the fire alarm to go off.

"Mello!" Matt nearly shouted as the other male bucked his hips into Matt's crotch, a small electric current spreading throughout his body.

"You like that?" Mello's voice had taken on a darker undertone as he repeated his action, gaining an almost identical response.

"Y-yes," Matt stuttered, rolling his hips back into Mello's as he wound his arms around the back of Mello's neck to support him while his spine tingled and his legs felt like jelly.

"G-good," Mello stated, obviously pleased with this revelation and the feeling of Matt's clothed hard-on pressing into his own. God damn, he'd missed this.

Mello pushed forwards until he had knocked Matt against the tiled wall so that he could ravage the nude torso of his beloved. A saliva trail started at Matt's clavicles, ran down along his sternum down to his stomach, where Mello stopped at the top of Matt's jeans. Looking up at Matt, he could visibly see how heavy Matt was breathing and how breathtakingly beautiful the boy was with his eyes closed, mouth agape and hair falling into his face. He'd always been a sight for sore eyes, especially in the bedroom-- in this case, the bathroom.

"Me-Mello?" Matt asked, peering down at the male in question.

"Yes?"

"What are you… are you doing?"

"Well," Mello placed a hand at the top of Matt's pants, his fingers playing with the button as he slowly undid the button and zipper. "I was thinking of doing this."

And with that, Mello had Matt's pants pooling around his ankles and his hand pushing Matt's boxers out of the way to reveal Matt's manhood; another sight that he rather enjoyed. The cool air pulled a shocked gasp from Matt's lips, but he was soon quieted as a warm sensation met the tip of his cock. Matt's eyes shot open, and for a moment, he wasn't sure how to take things, but he did know that this was happening. He also knew that Mello's tongue with running along the bottom of his cock, to which he offered a pleasured shuttered and a fist into Mello's golden tresses.

"F-fuck!" Matt moaned, bucking his hips toward Mello as a wet warmth covered him.

Mello hummed as he began to slowly suck Matt off, using his tongue for added pleasure as he brought a hand up to grasp the base of Matt's cock so that he could work better. He would pull back momentarily to let the cool air smack Matt's length and then he would replace the void with his mouth; rinse, wash, repeat a few times and presto! The job was complete.

"Mello!" Matt cried out after several ministrations, releasing himself into Mello's mouth.

"Mm," Mello removed Matt's limp member from his mouth with a loud pop, his tongue darting out to lick around his mouth for the remains of Matt's seed.

Mello stood up, a lopsided grin riddling his face as he pressed his lips to Matt's for a chaste kiss. Matt could taste himself on Mello, and while it grossed him out, it also excited him. It was weird, but not unwelcome.

"Mello." Matt's eyes closed as he trembled, fighting the urge to throw himself at his counterpart and give him what he wanted.

"Yeah?"

"What about you?" Matt's voice was small, lacking in confidence as he came down from his temporary high.

"Don't worry about me," Mello chuckled. "I'll take care of it later."

"B-but…"

"Seriously,"

"Okay."

Mello bent down, with a little trouble as he had failed to will away his erection, and picked up both their shirts. Handing Matt's back, he quickly slipped his shirt back on and straightened it out. He couldn't leave the bathroom, after having gone missing for two periods, looking like an absolute mess.

A second bell rang, signaling the ending of second block and the farewell of the boys in the bathroom. The halls were once again littered in voices, laughter and the same girl that had been trying to get into the pants of the 'new guy'. And, like before, they listened to L insult this girl until she giggled and continued on with his annoying prattling.

Mello laughed a genuine laugh, and the noise sounded foreign to Matt's ears. He missed that.

"Mello," Matt whispered, wrapping his arms around Mello's waist. "I love you."

A faint smile graced Mello's lips, the words warming his heart as he pulled Matt closer to him, softly offering in return, "I love you too."

-X-

Meanwhile, in the hallway, L was busy tracking down Light, but had failed to see which direction he'd traveled thanks to the annoying girl trying to flirt with him. Why couldn't she realize that he didn't want her? And fuck, why did he always have the worst of the pick coming onto him? L swore that someone, some higher power, was against him for something he'd done in a past life. It just wasn't fair, and now he'd lost track of Light, which was even worse.

"I said go away," L bluntly stated, repeating himself for the third time in a minute as he continued to push towards his next block.

"Oh, you don't mean that!" She giggled.

"Of course," L gagged.

* * *

Yes? No? Let me know! And also point out my errors, as I'm too tired to edit this to my liking at the moment. I'll get around to it later... maybe.

And fuck, go to my profile, click my formspring link and ask me questions! I love answering them!

And, fuck also, leave me some stuff to wake up to so that I can go to work with a smile on my face today. I don't want to be depressed at work...

Read and review, please. Thank you.


	17. 17

Oh, it's been so long since I last updated. I'm sorry! I hope this chapter makes it up, because as I was thinking about righting it, I didn't want to. I know, shame on me; but after I started, my mind went void and this practically wrote itself. AND, GUESS WHAT. It'll be a year that this has been on the site next month! I hope to have a BIG chapter for you guys, but that depends on how much time I have between Animazment and Anime Mid Atlantic. :x

Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

_"Alcohol superhero,  
cry on demand;  
Tell me again,_  
_you sound like violence,  
and I feel a fight."_

_- Sounds Like Violence, Braid._

_

* * *

_

The next couple of days were a blur to him.

There was school, then home to listen to his parents preach about negative lifestyles and then there was Light. Mello had tried avoiding him at all costs, but he knew that he would eventually show up demanding answers. More than likely they would be ones that Mello didn't want to give.

Mello had been sitting in his room that Friday evening, bored and waiting for his mother to call him down for dinner. He hadn't bothered with trying to go out and find something to do like any normal teenager would do on a Friday night, mainly because Matt had promised to sneak over at some point to reconnect with him. Yes, despite having been in the school and recently hooking up in the bathroom, he felt like they'd drifted and he no longer knew Mello. Funny how things played out in such a short amount of time.

Staring at the ceiling, he allowed his thoughts to slide away from him, the conscious world and think back on what had transpired in school several days before.

A gentle smiled crossed his lips as he heard Matt's voice in his head telling him that he still loved him. His body tingled at the sensations that the redhead had caused, and how perfect Matt looked with his post orgasm high, red face and swollen lips. Mello cherished those moments with all his heart. He truly was a cheesy romantic, despite the air that surrounded him.

And while what they'd done together wasn't much in society's eye, it meant the world to the blond and he was certain that it meant just as much to Matt. Just because they hadn't gone all the way didn't mean that there was nothing behind it, because there were feelings and they were raw. It also meant that particular bathroom, or screw it, any bathroom would ever be looked at the same again.

Mello could see Matt's face twisting with pleasure as he worked on him, and before Mello could stop himself from thinking anymore, he realized he had a problem that seriously needed to be taken care of. Closing his hands and letting a hand travel down to the waistband of his pants, he unbuttoned and unzipped them, his hand sliding into the denim confine to grasp at his newly hardened member. He groaned as his fingers awkwardly laced around his manhood and began to lazily tug upwards.

Mello allowed his mind to supply images of Matt writhing underneath him as he thrust in and out of his lithe body, moaning his name and attacking his lips violently. Mello could taste his trademark taste on his tongue as he slid out of his pants, his boxers unfortunately stuck in place as his throbbing cock had been released from its tight enclosure. He could work with soiling his boxers, but getting any parts of his seed on his pants meant trouble. Pushing that aside, Mello bucked his hips into his hand as he pictured Matt lowering his head onto his length, his tongue darting out of his perfect mouth and teasing the head. The imaginary Matt caused Mello's cock to twitch, and he found that he wanted the real thing instead of his hand. His hand could never and would never amount to Matt's skill.

"Nn, yes… Ma-tt," he groaned softly, jerking himself roughly.

With his breathing becoming uneven and a tight coil starting in his stomach, Mello could see Matt taking hold on his own length and pumping in time as he bobbed his head on Mello. It wouldn't take much longer, Mello and imaginary Matt knew, and they had planned on making it count. Arching his back into his own touch as he lightly drew his free hand along his torso, Mello could feel his stomach tightening.

"Matt!" Mello moaned loudly as he shot his load over his hand and boxers, still pumping himself to completion as he breathed heavily.

Keeping his hold on his leaking member, he grimaced at the feel of having his sticky aftermath on his boxers and admitted to himself that having to walk downstairs after just whacking off wasn't something he wanted to do. It would give his mother means to question him, and damn, he didn't want to tell her that he'd been jacking off to Matt. If she knew that she'd pull out the all of the forms for military school and he'd be sent packing.

Letting go of his softened length, Mello pulled his hand from his boxer and pushed himself up into a seated position. He stood up, his legs feeling like jelly as he made his way from the bed to the dresser for a clean pair of boxers. Wiping the mess still residing on his hand on his used set of silk boxers, Mello slipped out of them and pulled the new ones out of the top drawer before putting them on. They felt nice, and fuck, if he didn't feel the need to dirty this pair up too.

However, that would have to wait because as it were, he was still waiting for dinner to be finished. It was taking longer than usual, he noted as he walked towards his door, a hand stretched out to grab and turn the door knob. What he came face to face on the other side was something he wasn't prepared for.

"Mello."

"Light?" Mello asked, confused.

"I know my name," the older male stated blandly.

"What…" The blond began, unable to find the right words. "Why are you here?"

"Your mother called me, saying something about she heard you in your room and that lowlife's name," Light sneered, pushing Mello back into his room and slamming the door shut behind him. "Care to tell me why it wasn't my name falling from your lips?"

"I don't love you," Mello hissed, jerking away the arm that Light had come to grab. "I don't fucking want you, Light."

Light smirked, hoping that he would say that as he pushed Mello back against the bed, the back of his knees colliding with the bed and forcing him to fall onto it. "That sucks, Mello, because I want you."

Mello's blue eyes widened considerably and he felt himself struggling to get away from the Yagami heir, but to no avail. Light was stronger than he was, which was rather surprising with all things considered, especially seeing that Mello had a slightly bigger build. Grinning at this imminent victory, Light leaned down and pressed the palms of both hands into the sheets on either side of Mello's head.

"You comply or you don't, either way I don't care." Light's voice had grown darker as he captured Mello's lips in a rough kiss.

Mello kept his mouth closed, forbidding any contact between his tongue and Light's wet member. This wasn't how he liked to do things, unless of course, he was with Matt and they were both feeling like being a little mean. It came to no surprise to Light when Mello bit his tongue the moment he began to drag it along his lips, but that didn't stop the auburn haired boy from taking what he deemed rightfully his. He pressed himself closer to Mello, bucking his arousal into Mello's barely clothed hips. Both of his hands had come to grip the blond's waist, pulling his body closer towards his own as he continuously thrust into his boxer covered lower half.

"Fuck," Light groaned, his nails digging into Mello's side.

"Get off!" Mello shouted, pulling his legs up as he sent a kick into Light's gut. "I don't fucking want you, Light! I don't want this or any parts of anything you have to offer!"

Light stumbled backwards, his clothed back hitting the wall behind him as he looked up at Mello. Licking his lips, he scowled before walking back over to the bed. He wasn't about to give up and if it meant using more force than he'd already been using, well, he would. He would go to the end of the world for a chance at ruining Mello's relationship with his redheaded rival.

"I told you," Light spoke, a dark undertone in his voice, "I don't care if you don't want it. I'm going to give it to you regardless."

A shiver went up Mello's spine as Light talked, and he found himself scrambling to get off the bed and to the door before Light made to him. While his plan was perfect, his actions in doing so weren't and he tripped on one of his shoes. Light chuckled sardonically and closed in on Mello as he tried to get to his feet inches from the door.

"That didn't work. Shame," Light wrapped his arms around Mello's midsection as his lips met with the side of the blond teen's neck, suckling harshly.

Mello could feel tears threatening to leave his eyes as Light worked his way from the side of his neck to his shoulder, where he bit down hard enough to draw blood. Light's hips instinctively thrust forward into Mello's backside and his grip on his prey tightened. If this was what it felt like to be helpless, Mello didn't like it. He never thought he'd be on the receiving end of someone's rage and jealously, and it honestly scared. But, what got him even more is the fact that his mother had called Light over to deal with him when she could have easily done so.

She had betrayed her child and gone back on her promise as a mother because of her beliefs. If she was so against homosexuality then what was she doing pushing Light on him? If that wasn't a contradiction in itself, Mello didn't know what was.

Feeling cold flesh slip into his boxers, Mello shivered. This wasn't supposed to happen. It was supposed to be him and Matt, not Light. Within seconds, his new pair of boxers hit the floor at his ankles and Light had turned him around until they were face to face, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"Are you done being stubborn?" Light asked, running his tongue along the shell of Mello's right ear.

"Fuck you," Mello spat through a sob that had crept up his throat from the bottom of his stomach.

"I thought so." Amusement; sick and twisted.

In the silence of the room three things could be heard, Light unzipping his pants and removing them from his person, Light's laboured breathing and soft whimpers coming from Mello as Light's hand twisted his wrist backwards. Light was using any means necessary to keep the blond from running, and if he had to break his wrist to get him to shut up, lay still and comply, then he bloody well would. Plus, no one would ever believe Mello if he cried rape.

When Light pursued him a third time in the span of an hour, Mello gave in. He couldn't fight anymore because his mind was scattered between pretending this was just a roleplay of him and Matt; thoughts of his mother turning on him; and the sudden noise that had begun to ring out.

"What the fuck?" Light hissed, releasing his hold on Mello to turn around and look towards the window at the opposite side of the room. "Why's he here?"

"Matt," Mello whispered, relieved.

Despite everything he'd been through, it was enough to see Matt sitting on his roof and looking into his window at him. Yes, he looked terrible with puffy eyes, tear streaks, lips swollen from stolen kisses and nail indents on his body, but that didn't stop him from smiling. Especially when he noticed that in Matt's hand was a small camera and had put two and two together. With the way he looked, the enraged expression from Light as he tried to open the window and with no clothes being on his person (which he couldn't remember losing his shirt), Matt had criminating evidence against Light as a possible danger to society.

* * *

Okay, so I stopped updating this because of the fuckwads going through fandoms and being total dicks, but fuck it. I don't think they're doing any harm in purging this site of shit that is, well, shit. I do believe that they should leave the M rated stories alone though because there's really no harm being done. The rating list is there for a reason, and if you know damn well that you shouldn't be reading it, you should fucking close the browser and go back to gaia or whatever other website it is you spend copious amounts of time on. :3 With that being said, I think they're going about things the wrong way, but more power to them for actually getting rid of some of this script nonsense, interactive shit and dare stories. They really irk my nerves.

Sorry if that offends anyone that is against these people, and I hope it doesn't make you stop reading! x.x I'd hate if you stop reading my stories because of my personal opinions.

On that note, however, I'm going to start doing a question in the bottom A/N for a little bit of review incentive, today's question being: What kind of music do you listen to or generally find yourself listening to?

I'm too tired to fully edit this, so if you find any errors, let me know!

Review, please and thank you.


	18. 18

... Is this? I think it is. Oh, wow... I'm sorry for abandoning this story, but it had to be done. I lost my inspiration for this and had at one point thought of deleting it because I hated it. I guess you guys would like an update, or a list of excuses for my lapse in updating. Let's start, shall we?

I had three conventions; Animazment, Anime Mid-Atlantic and Nekocon. These names should give you guys my whereabouts in the states. xD I also spent a lot of time playing Bioshock 2, Halo: Reach and Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep. All of which I adore. I also became addicted to DJ Hero. I've been working more than 40 hours a week and with holiday season, even more so. I've seen Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows P1 twice in the same weekend. I've been working on other stories and removed my newest piercings because one got infected (I got them as a set and removed them as one). I was sick with the same illness two times in the span of three months. My niece was born. I was tired of these fucking stupid groups parading around. And I finally got over my writers for this story, even though this chapter is incredibly short.

I apologize for how short this is, but this has been sitting on my laptop for about a month. I was going to add more, but I couldn't. I'll update soon with the rest of it. Ha.

Enjoy~

* * *

_"Predator skills, chemical wars, plastic islands at sea;  
watch what the humans ruin with machines." _

_- The Geeks Were Right, The Faint._

* * *

Everything began to slow down, ceasing to move and growing silent. Light carefully unlatched the lock in the center of the window and attempted to push it open, the frame creaking from not having been used. The sound was deafening—absolutely chilling as it ran down Mello's spine. It made the tense atmosphere even worse. If that was, at all, possible.

Light grinned behind his rage; his fingers grasping the bottom of the window frame and slowly inching it upwards. This was it, he'd finally have his chance to ruin Mello's entire world. It appeared to him, in his thick skull, that things were starting to look up. Matt had either two choices and they both would end with him being eliminated from Mello's life. According to Light, anyways.

Light pushed the window open entirely and hesitated, faltering slightly as he came face to face with reality.

Mello was breathing heavily on the bed behind him, naked and scared. And here he stood in front of an open window, his clothes thrown around the room and a camera aimed at him as jealously rushed through his veins. If this situation didn't scream horror movie or one of those forty-eight hour mystery shows, then Light didn't know what did. Still, after shaking his head, he began to ease his body out of the window, half expecting Matt to give up and scurry down the roof the same way he'd come up. It was then that he realized that he had no idea how Matt had gotten onto the roof, as he was unable to see any way for him to climb onto the roof near Mello's window. He'd just have to fall off—or be pushed off—whichever worked most effectively.

However, Matt held his ground and continued to film Light as he made his way out of the window. Matt knew that he was trying to come with a way to rid of him, but he seemed to have forgotten about the camera that would tell everything if something drastic were to happen. That is if Light didn't get to it before someone else, and he prayed that wouldn't be the case if something actually did happen to him.

Regardless, he remained in the same spot, waiting for Light to fully emerge from the room. With an eyebrow arched and a tap of his foot, he chuckled as the other male's appearance as he swung both legs over the window sill; Light was totally in for it. It wasn't everyday that anyone saw a half naked teenager atop the roof of a house, especially when his pants were the article of clothing missing instead of his shirt. Surely Light would've realized that he was pants less. Or, well, maybe not… considering the person in question.

Matt held his tongue, pushing back a round of laughter as it crawled up his throat. It, this, it was all ridiculous. Light wearing no pants, his video camera rolling, Mello watching from behind Light with wide eyes and scrambling to get his clothing back on. Really, it was like a scene from a movie and that amused Matt. It shouldn't have, but it did.

"What," Light hissed, standing upright and holding onto the ledge for support. "In the fuck are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighbourhood." Matt retorted, clicking his tongue against his teeth. "Why are you here?"

Light growled and narrowed his eyes, annoyed with Matt's sarcasm and arrogance that he hadn't noticed before. "That's none of your business, so fuck off."

"That's original," Matt mocked him. A hand sliding through his hair as he patiently waited for Light to approach him.

It was like a video game—Matt was the hero, or seemingly so, and this was Matt's boss battle with his arch nemesis, Light. Matt had been through thick and thin, trudged through paths and overcame barriers he never expected, and he deserved the damsel in distress. Or, rather, in the case, he deserved Mello. Because really, the blond was neither a damsel or in distress; even though his current situation could speak otherwise about the distress.

Matt shook his head, dispelling his game induced thoughts from his mind and rejoining his friend in reality. He really needed to lay off the video games, and he vowed to, then and there, that he would if the outcome was in his favour. Mello was far more important than his games.

"Excuse me?" the older teenager asked, letting go on the ledge and gaining his balance on the slightly tilted roof. His redheaded opponent made this look like a cakewalk.

"You heard me." Matt said, leaning against the side of the house like he'd spent his whole life doing so.

* * *

CLIFFHANGER FTL. D:

Question: Do you play video games? And if so, what's your favourite game? (: I game, but I don't have a favourite because I play games more than I sleep. Sad reality.

Review, pl0x.


	19. 19

I was almost in tears before I wrote this chapter because I had decided to stop writing. I wanted to leave you guys with another chapter before I left the world of fanfiction and I planned on ending it here, because I could...

but, as I started writing I realized that I could do so much more with this story. I have other ways to end it.

I'm sorry for the shortness again, but it's a little progress.

Enjoy.

* * *

_"Yeah, just keep on thinking it's my fault,  
and stay an inch or two outta kicking distance.  
Mankind has got to know his limitations."_

_- Sweating Bullets, Megadeath._

* * *

We last left our hero—correction, ballsy redhead—standing confidently on the roof; a smirk on his face as his eyes followed the clumsy movements of his foe.

He had lowered the hand holding the camera down, allowing it to capture their shadows and sounds, and nothing more. It would later add a special touch if the camera were to escape alive and in one piece. Matt really couldn't afford to lose a comrade, especially not one holding such valuable information.

"Matt, I'm only going to tell you this once," Light said as he closed in on his prey, standing a mere few feet from the boy in question.

"What?" he retorted, rolling his eyes.

"Mello, he's mine," Light said proudly, and possibly a bit arrogantly, too. "I'm sure that he told this once before. I'd listen to him."

Matt knew there was an open ending to Light's mini speech, but he didn't dare egg him on to finish it. There was something more he wanted to add; something extra that he wanted to say to thicken the already tense atmosphere. He knew what it was about too. In fact, Matt was perfectly fine in knowing that it had to do with his life and being threatened, because as far as he was concerned, Mello was and would always, be worth it.

"Light, Light…" he took a step backwards, expanding the gap between them. "I did listen and look where it got us—you standing half naked on Mello's roof after trying to rape him, since you're such a big man and all; and me? I'm just trying to defend what I want."

"What you want?" the older teen questioned.

Matt sighed and nodded; was Light really that dense? Okay, don't answer that.

"Yeah," he said, breathing out.

"That's too bad," Light told him, reiterating his earlier unspoken threat. Matt arched an eyebrow, taking his sudden repetitive notions as a sign to cut off the camera and throw out his own threat in return.

Lifting the video recorder up to his face, Matt felt around for the switch atop the device. It turned off with a click and he folded it back up into its original state of being before he slid it into his side pocket for safe keeping. Matt patted his pocket to show Light that it was on his person, and if he so dare, he could try to wrangle it from him; Matt wouldn't go down without a proper fight.

He would definitely use his martial arts style of fighting that he'd learned through button smashing on Light, and God so help him, he would win. Even if he had to learn the triple spin kick. Or maybe he'd just go postal and attempt to fight him old school. Whichever seemed more appropriate at and less time consuming. Either way, Matt would win based off the many types of fighting that he'd been taught through playing video games.

"Light, let's get one thing straight here," Matt said, pushing himself from off the side of the house. "I know you want to kick my ass; hell, you probably want to shove me off this fucking roof, but that wouldn't be a good idea.

"You see, if Mello's parents witnessed some random kid falling from their roof—namely me—they'd get a little concerned and call the cops, or maybe a priest, because they seem like the kind of folks to call the priest. The cops, or the priest, would find you standing two feet from Mello's window and wonder 'hey gee, what the fuck is that kid doing standing there with his junk showing for?'; it wouldn't be very pretty for you."

Matt stepped closer to Light. "Mello would more than likely rat you out for being the one who severely hurt or possibly killed the kid on the ground, and if they so wished it, my camera—" Matt motioned towards his right leg, "is right there and it holds everything that I've seen and heard tonight. You don't want them to see that, now do you? That wouldn't look to good for you. Mr. Yagami's son caught free balling after attempted rape _and _murder."

Light seethed, fisting his hands to the best of his abilities at his sides, afraid that if he tried to lean too far away from the window that he'd be the one lying on the ground. Matt could literally hear Light's anger as it rattled in his brain; using what little cells he had left. Light wasn't a genius anymore, at least not as big of one as Mello had made him out to be. Matt had turned the tables; he had beaten Light at his own game. Or so he thought.

"You think you have it pegged out, Matt?" Light asked and the redhead simply nodded in response.

"You don't."

"Don't I?" Matt had gotten close enough for Light to reach out and grab, but the auburn haired male didn't dare touch him. Matt leaned in, his face level with Light's and he grinned wryly, his hand sliding along his right leg to remind Light of his evidence.

"Light, if you didn't understand what I said, I'll fucking say it again." he exhaled. "I will use this against you. You have nothing on me."

Light chuckled darkly and spat in Matt's face. "We'll see."

Light pushed Matt back slightly—enough to make him stumble a bit, but not nearly with enough force to send him falling to the ground below. Turning around, Light slipped a leg into the window and awkwardly fit the rest of his body through before he slammed the window down and locked it. Matt grimaced, bringing a hand to his face and wiping it of the spit that Light had been so generous to offer. Matt vaguely wondered who still spit on people.

This was just the beginning of a war, he realized as he stood there watching Light dress himself. Light wasn't going to play by his rules, evidence or not. Light was going to do things his way and he was telling Matt this by pulling Mello up by his hair and forcefully stealing a kiss from him. Matt had to watch through the window as the older teenager threw the blond to the floor, opened the door and fled from the room.

It felt like forever before Matt heard the front door slam and Light's car start up; whereas in reality it had only been no more than five minutes. The lights from his car focused on Matt as he stood in front of the window waiting for it to open, and Matt could see the angry expression that Light had taken to wearing as he backed the car up and drove out of sight.

Things were nowhere near being done. While Light thought he would get the better of him, he wouldn't. The redhead had another trick up his sleeve.

Matt watched as the headlights finally disappeared into the night and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a gentle touch on his back.

"Matt," the blond said softly. "Come in, it's getting cold."

Matt obliged the quiet request and turned around to face the open window, smiling warily. It would take a million men to tell him not to climb through Mello's window and into his bed, where they could lay in the comfort of each other and momentarily forget the drama surrounding them and their predicament. And even then, Matt wasn't entirely sure that he would listen to these men.

The minute Matt's feet hit the floor of Mello's bedroom he wrapped his arms tightly around the blonds' waist, pulling their bodies close and filling the gap that had been growing between them since the beginning of the school year. It felt nice to finally hold one another, but they both knew that it would be short lived. For the time being though, Mello would try to coax Matt into redoing the night and turning something that had gone incredibly wrong into something maybe not so bad.

Mello," he whispered, pressing his forehead against Mello's and capturing his lips for a quick kiss. "We'll get through this, I promise."

"I know." the blond responded, kissing him a second time with more fervor.

* * *

A little progress? I think so!

Question: Out of the two, which do you prefer— Kpop or Jpop?

and oh, you guys~ i like fanart. just thought i'd throw that out there incase someone gets bored~ xD

Let me know what you guys think!  
Review, please. Thank you.

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	20. not so ending dear love, this means war

Mello was lying when he said that he knew they'd get through this. Matt couldn't hold onto this promise, it was too much for him. Light would come after him; he would ruin his red head. That wasn't something he wanted to live with.

"Mel?" Matt softly questioned the air.

"Yeah?" his voice was small against the room.

"We'll be okay."

They wouldn't.

* * *

you guys, I'm sorry it has taken so long to update this. i'm also sorry that this isn't a real update. i had to type something so that this wouldn't be just a notice letting you guys know that this story is discontinued.

BUT, I AM WORKING ON A REWRITE. o_o;

if you find the newest version, which is almost like this one (but with its own story and differences!), that was just posted today... i applaud you.

it's Dear Love, This Means War.

go find, re-read the first chapter and hopefully enjoy. :x


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